After I arrived at FalconBlanco a guest came and asked me the question if Ibiza, Spain was the location of Paradise. I did not get the opportunity to answer this question, but later I reflected on it. My impression of my outside surroundings is definitely one of Paradise - there is beautiful weather, the sea, nature, abundance in all that I need and the possibility to work with my hands and to do on a daily basis that which my heart desires. But also I see that there is this paradise, yet I feel that I am not one with it. It becomes clear to me that we do carry our baggage with us, no matter where we go, so even being in paradise, we may not be able to enjoy it. So far, it has been my experience in coming to Falcon Blanco, that being here has brought to the surface aspects of myself that I did not perceive in myself in my previous location. I think these aspects were more hidden because of the comfort and security that I derived from my old surrounding. I see that living in Falcon Blanco, things are not so static and predictable and because of this, one's old behaviors are exposed and brought to the surface, and this can be uncomfortable to confront these. These feelings show me my own painful resistance to change. Yet I know, that in order to express myself freely from my heart, I need to let go of the past and respond to what is here right now - in front of my nose. This I need to do if I want to continue to grow. So yes, paradise is here, but this can't be enjoyed as long as I cling to my old stuck patterns of my past.  Today, I am grateful that I took the step and came here, to challenge my old ways of responding to life. I have the hope that paradise can come completely to me, in the sense that my outside and inside worlds can merge into a balanced one, learning to adapting myself - relating or expressing myself to what shows up.

 Betsy
May 4, 2001