Balancing Our Male & Female Energy


I feel balancing our Male and Female energies is about understanding the deeper core energies that shaped us.

It is about understanding how our mother and father ‘shaped’ us with their desires for themselves when we were born. When we have children, we always hope they will be better versions of ourselves which is based on our own past experience of life. We understand what part of our past we didn’t like, what we liked as well the failure we felt from what we felt we did not achieve. It is also common we wish about the future, for better lives with more happiness, joy and abundance. When we have kids, we want all that we liked for them, and all that we didn’t like not for them, as well to push them to be more then we were. This is every parents motivation when they have children, to create new life and that child will be better than them and better able to survive. Love is always there at base, even if it is not apparent.

So what about a rapist that gets a woman (married or not married) pregnant? Surely, he did not make life with the thought of love, right? But actually he did, but it is harder to see. He rapes because he is trying to heal his wounded past probably from not getting his mother’s attention (not enough love) or wrong kind of attention from his mother (violence or sexual abuse). So by raping, he is trying to heal the hate he has by expressing himself in the external world. He is mostly doing this healing unconsciously; not knowing that this is what he is trying to do. To be clear, this way will never heal the rage he has against his mother, it will only perpetuate it. The way heal it is from within, from self-introspection and awareness of one’s one energetic pattern that is causing one to behave this way ‘unconsciously’. Then if he were a father and hadn’t yet healed this hatred for the mother, if he had girls he would hate them and might do incest to them. If he couldn’t do that, say if he only had boys, he would be the type to go out and rape women outside the house to get out his hatred. From his own wife, maybe he couldn’t do that if his wife was reminded him of his sister whom he connected to when growing, so he felt love for the sister (even he may have had incest with her when young). So in this kind of pattern he loved his wife and only raped women that looked like this mother. Now to go another generation back, we look at his mother and why she couldn’t give love to him, and it is likely she was raped by a man, maybe because her mother could not protect her. Then when she had kids she really wanted girls, because she wanted to protect girls, and then when she had a boy, she rejected that boy like projecting her hatred of men onto the body. And what do you know, this woman had 2 girls and one boy. And so the patterns and wounding gets passed down through the generations, until we can recognize them and break the chain. You can take the above example and apply it any deep seated habit energy in yourself you are trying to heal and then see what are the roots of it which will come from your own family energy dynamics of mother, father, grandparents and siblings.

Now if the rapist were to look inside and see how these things and energies were inherited, from unresolved wounds in his parents past (it keeps going back generation after generation) then he could see this own pattern in himself, and then be ‘able to let it go’ and heal it and break the chain. Then he would no longer want to rape.

But understand these things: we inherit a role, it is programmed in our DNA, ½ of this program comes from the egg (female energy), ½ from the sperm (male energy). But also there is the soul, which is the spark of light of your true self, which actually chose those parents, to go into that body, because you needed the patterns of energy from those parents to move you forward in your evolution. They are unresolved things from prior past lives, not that what happened to you happened before, but what you experienced this lifetime, gives you the experience you need to evolve further ‘by healing them.’ So much of our life we get growing up is based on our relation to the male and female energy, which is the energy of life. The mother nurtures & gives life, the father protects the life, this is protective energy. The other aspect of mother and father is ‘sex’, or uniting physically with another person, so like finding love or the ‘soul mate’ quest, this is procreation energy. Thus most of our wounding comes from our energy pattern between our mother, our father and everything to do with nurturing, protecting and our experiences with sex. This wounding was part of our ‘soul-plan’ because we knew if we got those kind of ‘energy wounds’ and we could heal them, it would move us closer to the TRUE LOVE which is what we are really seeking (the internal soul-mate), which is the Love that made us and exists at everyone’s core in the inside. Our wounding is that which shields us from this core, by healing it, we reveal the Love that has always been there.

Women can have it especially difficult because of the male-dominated world we’ve had for a long time, so men have often used women to get out their pain simply because they can overpower them. Then the contrary of this is women then want a man to protect them to feel safe, which is what keeps women from self-empowerment or taking leading roles and becoming self-sovereign. Now I am not implying that women become the leaders over men and then take over the world, no! Rather it is about balance! That is what humanity is moving towards, a balance of male and female energies, which is based on love for each other, each appreciating what the opposite parts of us (male and female) gives to the whole. Each person is actually Male and Female on the inside, Love or God is actually not male or female, it is both mixed together, so God is a HIR. That is the spiritual understanding and importance of ‘marriage’, that when we balance our internal male and female energies, then we have found our true-soul mate or Love within and at that point we are in perfect position to find our external soul-mate, which will perfectly complement us in the outside world. Like being the perfect half of our energy. But most people do it in reverse they try to find their soul-mate in outside world, before they find their true soul-mate which is inside them. In this way they can never find love, because they are always chasing around in the outside world and it can’t be found there.

An important part of women’s healing today is realizing they can take the lead (they are not only nurturers needing protecting) and when they do it, it empowers their male energy, like it comes out of hiding. This balances their overall energy and with it fear of men reduces as well the desire to only bring love into the world. For each female that awakens and heals their past and balances their energy, they also balance the worlds energy, making it more positive. Females are needed greatly today; they are the peacemakers who can stop the wars that the male-dominated world of our past wanted and did create. Women must also realize they were part of creating this war world, by allowing their men to protect them, by being subservient or even aggressive to other women. You can see this war tendency which is instinctual as ‘survival of the strongest’ in any two strong male men. It is normal they will not talk to each other, because they are strong protectors and it is always about survival of the fittest and creating more children like themselves. It is My Way or the Highway, these strong men rarely see eye-to-eye and cooperate with each other. You see it in nature, where a Male lion will take over a family of lions by killing the Male in charge and the next thing he does is kill all the male children. Now this can also happen with women who have strong female dominant energy inside, they don’t like other females and when they feel one around that is stronger than themselves, then tend to want to kill them for the same reason.

Okay, so you can investigate these energy patterns, to see how they molded you, what were you given, not given, how did it affect you in life choices, with male / female friends. How did you interact with male / female energy? What kind of jobs you like, working with people, working by self, working in group of males or group of females? What kind of camaraderie do you have? Do you like to take the lead, shrink from the lead or like others to protect or nurture you? Keep asking questions like this to see what energies you need to heal and balance.

Ask you parents how they came up with your name and what aspirations they had for you when you were born. Ask each parent separately; ask about first and middle names. Also consider what you family surname means. You can use Google to look up meaning of names for both first and surnames. Your parents gave you a name, some was from their grandparents, as well there is simply a power itself in the name they give you, which is uniquely yours. For example, your first name may have come from your mother’s hope for you, which could be on surface simple like being an actress, but on another spiritual level that name has another meaning which the dictionaries can hint at. Your given name gives you hints about your past lives or your soul, which goes beyond the current lifetime.

Try to see what they wanted for you (or better what they wanted for themselves…). I just did this with my parents and it was eye opening, and really made me make more sense of who I was, of what they wanted me to be. This is the role we inherit, it is hard-wired into our body, it cannot be erased. But also that doesn’t mean this is Who we are. It is more like a framework, a starting point for this current life. The way to work with this framework, is to realize it is there, it was actually what we needed to perfectly manifest our best version of ourselves this lifetime. But that doesn’t mean you are only to enliven this role energetically and become it, no! We are also growing just like a baby, so it’s about integrating that past at same time we are having and adding to our experiences.

We have a spark of light as soul, which exists beyond the current lifetime, both before and after this one. The other thing to understand is what your soul wanted for this lifetime, what is your vision or mission of the future, what was it in your heart you wanted to do? By looking back at key events in your life (good and bad), you can see how you’ve been walking, what things you did that gave you joy (focus to brings these into your daily life as ‘your work’ to help others.) as well which things hurt you and need healing. By healing our wounds, we stop the epidemiology or passing pain between generations. When you were joyful with something, it means that was when you were in alignment with your vision. So it can also be helpful to ask your parents, when I was little, what did you think I was going to be, or what was I good at. These kinds of answers may surprise you. Also, consider any nicknames they gave you or that your friends gave you. This kind of investigation will help you to see your programmed aspect or role, as well your vision for the future (what you want to become, what you are working towards). When you know your old world vision or past (where you came from) and know your new world or vision (what you are moving towards), then you can realize you are not either of these, rather you are the traveler on this journey – you are the source of life and love itself! After you’ve found that love, then your future traveling will be much more enjoyable, as you spread your love around the world.

July 25, 2014

Note: While I have put my name upon this article, I realize it did not come from only me. What is in this article is an infusion of insight from many people, my grandparents, my parents, my brothers, sisters, my best friends, my guru, from two people’s book which I just read, from my meeting I went to last night. Thank you to everyone for helping me heal. I will still put my name on an article I write with a date stamp, but that is more a reference in my walking on this path for the future, it has nothing to do with ‘claiming ‘ownership’.


Posted in Healing, Healing of Emotions Tagged with: , , , , , ,
4 comments on “Balancing Our Male & Female Energy
  1. Mamata Anurag says:

    Nice article Betsy…though I disagree at few places.
    Not too important to discuss the differences anyway, since I’m aware that we have different viewpoints on “tolerance and punishment” needed towards wrong-doers.

    “…it has nothing to do with ‘claiming ‘ownership’.”
    This is an instance where you are making this explicit. But what most of us don’t really acknowledge is: It is implicit that The Wisdom is part of our Collective Consciousness that all of us are part of. Owing to the frequency of vibration we are at, we happen to receive a “part” of that wisdom.

    But for the humans we are, we attach a sense of belonging to that Wisdom….just as we attach ownership to land, money, writing, arts, music…nothing wrong with it. I see that this is in human nature…we are just attaching ownership to our “part” of work to get on with the ways of life and ways of world.

    It is similar to a discovery by a Scientist. It looks like he discovered something by sheer chance. But the ‘chance’ here is that he happened to be at that frequency to receive that awareness. So ofcourse he becomes the owner of his discovery. That’s why we have patents.

    If nobody is the owner of anything, then everything is free. Periodically such periods of “everything being free” occur in evolution. That is a good thing if it happens..infact the most ideal thing. But I do not see that mankind sustains such freedom for a long time…we again get into the business of “owning up things”! History says it all…If Future is going to be different, I’m the most happy one!

    >> “I realize it did not come from only me. ”
    You often say when we can dissolve that clinging to “I”, then we are closer to enlightenment. I had always felt that each of us is part “I” (ego self) and part We (collective Consciusness). I’d only aim at a balance of both, but not a complete dissolution of “I”.

    Do you think its in the best interests of a person and society to dissolve that “I”? Do you think it is even possible to leave that “I” even for the most enlightened soul?

    – Mamata Anurag.

    • betsy rabyor says:

      Mamata, Thank you for your comment.

      As I see it everything is for free and has been for free always. The illusion that resources are limited or that we own things, comes from being identified with what one thinks one owns. What one thinks one owns is basically the “I”, and when one believes the “I” is real, then one tries to gain properties in outside world to magnify one’s own “I-ness” by gaining properties of all kinds, some of which are material, wealth, knowledge and power. The more you gain of these over time, the bigger your “I” gets. The more property you feel you have, the more energy you need to expend to protect your property.

      Now this is not to say that the “I” is not needed to evolve, indeed it is essential. The “I” has evolved for the purpose to allow US to see OUR true nature. That happens when the “I” gets so big, that we can no longer hold onto it anymore. See it like the apple naturally falling from the tree when it is ripe.

      Let’s be clear what “I” is. “I” is like the shadow self, or ego, which is our created aspect.
      But this created aspect is only a reflection of oneself, the true self is the one that created that reflection. If you review your past it is obvious you are growing and changing everyday. Every day you are different. So that “I” that you see, can’t be the real you. The real you is the one who has the point of view of being able to review the past. You could say this is just the SEER or the ONE CREATOR, which has no attributes itself. That is your true center and being-ness, and next you realize that all the “I’s” in the world are just another aspect, role or reflection of yourself.

      When you SEE this reality by experiencing it directly (which happens after it gets so big you can’t hold it anymore), then you are able to exist or live your life from then on without being IDENTIFIED with your created aspect. The split is healed and now you can go beyond being just the role! Then you understand that this is true freedom. So all the walking you did on your life journey with ‘that soul’ is like gaining properties in that ego-soul. Now when you see that ego-Soul is actually not you (you are creator of it), then you can let go of your identity with that ego-soul. When you do that, you release yourself from your own bondage or cage. At that point then you are an evolved being no longer bound to the material or earth-world and needing an “I-identity” to evolve.

      If one understands that there is only ONE CREATOR, and that we are all reflections, parts, or mirrors of that one creator – the parts make up the whole – then one can logically understand that if only one being on earth who has a big ego can let go of it, then it will free everyone from ‘the Need to cling’ to the “I”. But to be clear, this doesn’t mean everyone is automatically granted a ‘free ride’. You only can get the true freedom from being a role if you can let go of your property. That will be the next step that everyone will work on, which is now possible because one person has let go of their role.

    • betsy rabyor says:

      Mamata: “If Future is going to be different, I’m the most happy one!”

      That is what I realized the other day, that the future is not determined! We can make it what we want it to be, once we realize we have the freedom to do so!
      Now it is up to us collectively to decide what to do out of our responsibility.
      The more we come together and join forces in the same direction, the stronger our healing potential becomes not only for self but also for others. Our pasts got us this far in a programmed kind of way, but once one of us can drop the role — we are all empowered to be able to drop it! Everyone! has that power within to let go of one’s created aspect, as we all have the same source. And that source is LOVE.

      We heal the past by letting go of ourselves, which is not a destructive thing! Rather it is healing from within, by loving ourselves. The more people do this, the more we create
      a beautiful world, full of peace, love and compassion for our fellow beings and the earth and live together as one and consequently the killing, pain and suffering becomes a thing of the past. The expansion of feminine energy has a very good surprise for us mothers who only want more love in the world and will do anything to get it. But it is not how many imagine it. How many people see it like the ‘Armageddon scenario’ is actually a male-dominant point of view. That male-dominance energy which created the duality. Now we heal the split and see our transformation from the angle of female point of view. Women are now empowered to heal the duality, and for each that does it we will spread a wave of peace over the world and change the course of history, transitioning this old world view into a new world view.

      I do think it is in the best interests of society that even the most evolved souls leave that “I” behind, they will be relieved to find out they don’t have to play that role anymore. It was only useful to get us to this point in time. Now the roles are no longer needed…. So let’s join together and use our feminine power to spread a peaceful movement around the world. People won’t know what hit them… 🙂

      The women are going to love this, don’t you think? Hahaha, so many surprises and this is the best one yet!
      So now I see why I jumped ahead by one month, so we could steer ourselves into a new direction!
      When you realize we are the directors of this play, what does your heart want to do?

      Love & Blessings,

      • betsy rabyor says:

        The other thing I would mention is I realize the community movement, has great potential to heal, because it brings opposites TOGETHER and heals the split, it heals the wounds, the separation we’ve had for so long. in community, by coming together, we make peace at the center. that was my idea with the community vision, to change this male-war-view into a female-peace-view, but I only know that for sure now, that this is infact what we are going to do.

        I have several projects I am going to work on near-term and one is helping to balance the power in government, to get more women involved in the decision making process.
        Society desperately needs capable women to take on more responsibility, with a peace-making spirit.

        Welcome to the New World!
        Love & Blessings,

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