01/08/08: Poem: Lost in Inside World
Lost in inside world
making sense of images
connecting the dots.
Isolated bubble views
a planet full of dreamers.
Betsy
01/08/08
making sense of images
connecting the dots.
Isolated bubble views
a planet full of dreamers.
Betsy
01/08/08
11/11/07: Human Metamorphosis
I observe in my process of awareness - steps, stages, evolvement -
which I see will continue for eternity. So far I have experienced 3
deaths and 2 rebirths in this life, the third rebirth of which I am
currently within - and probably it nears completion soon. Next I
summarize from my observations and experience what is my current
take on what has been happening in the process of growing awareness.
We know how to create something as a human being in the world of
objects: We think about something, we make a decision, this
generates a feeling, an impulse, a desire to do it - forming the
energy of intention and thought into the vibration or shape of what
is to be, building that energy, then we do the actions & movements
in the physical plane with our intention and what we wanted to make
exists, we have created something. So I also understand now why this
happens 3 times. Being an individual, as personality in a body, one
might say one is created as that when one is born. To transform
ourselves - as we are in a body - then we have to recreate that
body - ourselves - using the same principles of how we create some
other object using our thought(mind), emotion(feeling) and action
(body).
The first insight or death is that we get the knowledge about
ourselves, we see we are not the thinker, we are more than that, but
seeing this revelation doesn't unload all of our beliefs, concepts,
etc., that we've collected over our lifetime. There is no instant
awakening to that. This first death is the beginning of awareness
beyond personality and the start of the end of being the
personality. As far as I can tell this revelation is what many
spiritual people are clinging to - they know they are not the
thinker - yet what happens is it creates a split and then they
aren't able to go beyond the conceptual parts. It's like they disown
the physical aspects of themselves at this point. The
rebirth/growing/transformation phase follows with all the many steps
to unload all the perceptual/mental aspects: concepts, beliefs,
etc., that the individual is viewing their world through. Through
mediation and self-questioning, slowly discovering what these are
through observation and then dropping them, the influence of being
the thinking one recedes and as it does awareness grows in it's
place - a metamorphosis is going on.
So then to this topic of glass ceiling, where one hopefully! gets to
the point of realizing that one can't know anything, meaning that
the reflection can't know anything and thus one sees the limitations
of being in this physical form. One sees the craziness of believing
in the story that one is constantly telling oneself. One knows that
what one thinks is totally one's interpretation. Knowing/seeing this
clear, then one comes to the second death, which can be seen as the
end of the story teller and the rebirth/growing of the
energetic/emotional/feeling aspects of oneself. This is the
revelation of enlightenment as a verb to which you refer. One
encounters oneself again, but this time differently, not through an
understanding that one is not one's mind, but as a feeling, you know
yourself to be the energetic vibration. When you realize this,
you're old way of being as the story maker, provoking your
environment to be able to react with strong emotion you see is what
was fooling you. You thought this was what was meant to be alive,
when you see through the ruse, then you no longer are interested in
getting your kick this way, that part of you that wanted to be the
pretending one has died.
Now you have a new target in sight, you know yourself as vibration
and you seek to increase your vibration or to nurture this aspect of
yourself. This is a period of getting used to `not knowing' because
you can no longer believe what you tell yourself, then your
diligence here is to continually shut yourself up and get out of the
habit of telling your story. To not have that familiarity in the
constant background is scary, it's like you feel without a base, not
knowing how to know anything anymore. Then starts the next growing
phase away from thinking and emotionally reacting as the `story-
maker' to learning to control one's innate energy and not let the
personality energize. It's very simple really, one moves one's
meditation into daily life, continuously withdrawing energy from
thinking. Depending upon your desire and how much you practice this,
this can be a period of great energy gain in growing awareness or as
vibration, as energy is withdrawn from `being the personality'.
One's meditation gets deeper very quickly.
My current theory of what happens next is that when there is enough
energy withdrawn from the old structure: the personality has broken
down enough, then it triggers the activation to start to grow the
new structure. When something is metamorphosing in the existing
structure, when the old (house) is breaking down, eventually there
has to be the start to build the new (house). This trigger point is
what I call: kundalini awakening. After a few months of preparatory
nervous system changes to the body, then eventually the changes move
up through the chest and into the neck to make changes into the
physical structure of the neck/skull/brain. I experienced the third
death here, and as you might imagine it's totally physical - it's
not mental/intellectual, it's not emotional/feeling/vibration. This
was the hardest thing I've done so far, yet I see how it can't be
otherwise. To be reborn in the flesh, you truly will have to die in
the flesh. People have seen how animals and people die - it is
exactly the same as this, it is this, it's not a simulation in
virtual reality - when dying you gasp as you take your last breath
of air and make gurgle sounds, etc. I'm sure people don't want to
know about this, but I think it's good to have the information as a
kind of checkpoint. How can I say this more clear: kundalini
transformation is totally physical, it has little to do with the
mind and emotions and growing a new body in the existing is a
difficult process to go through, but it's the only way that the old
structure can be dissolved so that a new one can form. When the
changes to the body move up and approach the neck to get to the
brain, the Tranformative energy is stretching, contracting and
squeezing all that tissue in the neck, which will close off your
breathing. You will stop breathing when this happens, now the
challenge is to allow this death and go to center as the observer,
knowing you are dying and allowing it. All physical changes are made
this way. You can only get through the 3rd death with a total
physical surrender. Does this make sense? If it's a physical step
then the surrender step is to die. When you do this, then you are at
the end of being the personality, you will never go back to having
that structure in any future life, you are beyond that part of you,
and you are on the way to growing the new structure which serve you
for the next part of your journey. There's no going back.
It takes some time for the new body to grow, which is where I'm at
in the kundalini transformation process and I'm pretty certain that
at the end there will be the 3rd rebirth finale in which there will
be a third revelation, but this time I'll see it physically. I don't
see how it can be otherwise. Okay so this only explains one
metamorphosis in the continuum of my life.
Betsy
which I see will continue for eternity. So far I have experienced 3
deaths and 2 rebirths in this life, the third rebirth of which I am
currently within - and probably it nears completion soon. Next I
summarize from my observations and experience what is my current
take on what has been happening in the process of growing awareness.
We know how to create something as a human being in the world of
objects: We think about something, we make a decision, this
generates a feeling, an impulse, a desire to do it - forming the
energy of intention and thought into the vibration or shape of what
is to be, building that energy, then we do the actions & movements
in the physical plane with our intention and what we wanted to make
exists, we have created something. So I also understand now why this
happens 3 times. Being an individual, as personality in a body, one
might say one is created as that when one is born. To transform
ourselves - as we are in a body - then we have to recreate that
body - ourselves - using the same principles of how we create some
other object using our thought(mind), emotion(feeling) and action
(body).
The first insight or death is that we get the knowledge about
ourselves, we see we are not the thinker, we are more than that, but
seeing this revelation doesn't unload all of our beliefs, concepts,
etc., that we've collected over our lifetime. There is no instant
awakening to that. This first death is the beginning of awareness
beyond personality and the start of the end of being the
personality. As far as I can tell this revelation is what many
spiritual people are clinging to - they know they are not the
thinker - yet what happens is it creates a split and then they
aren't able to go beyond the conceptual parts. It's like they disown
the physical aspects of themselves at this point. The
rebirth/growing/transformation phase follows with all the many steps
to unload all the perceptual/mental aspects: concepts, beliefs,
etc., that the individual is viewing their world through. Through
mediation and self-questioning, slowly discovering what these are
through observation and then dropping them, the influence of being
the thinking one recedes and as it does awareness grows in it's
place - a metamorphosis is going on.
So then to this topic of glass ceiling, where one hopefully! gets to
the point of realizing that one can't know anything, meaning that
the reflection can't know anything and thus one sees the limitations
of being in this physical form. One sees the craziness of believing
in the story that one is constantly telling oneself. One knows that
what one thinks is totally one's interpretation. Knowing/seeing this
clear, then one comes to the second death, which can be seen as the
end of the story teller and the rebirth/growing of the
energetic/emotional/feeling aspects of oneself. This is the
revelation of enlightenment as a verb to which you refer. One
encounters oneself again, but this time differently, not through an
understanding that one is not one's mind, but as a feeling, you know
yourself to be the energetic vibration. When you realize this,
you're old way of being as the story maker, provoking your
environment to be able to react with strong emotion you see is what
was fooling you. You thought this was what was meant to be alive,
when you see through the ruse, then you no longer are interested in
getting your kick this way, that part of you that wanted to be the
pretending one has died.
Now you have a new target in sight, you know yourself as vibration
and you seek to increase your vibration or to nurture this aspect of
yourself. This is a period of getting used to `not knowing' because
you can no longer believe what you tell yourself, then your
diligence here is to continually shut yourself up and get out of the
habit of telling your story. To not have that familiarity in the
constant background is scary, it's like you feel without a base, not
knowing how to know anything anymore. Then starts the next growing
phase away from thinking and emotionally reacting as the `story-
maker' to learning to control one's innate energy and not let the
personality energize. It's very simple really, one moves one's
meditation into daily life, continuously withdrawing energy from
thinking. Depending upon your desire and how much you practice this,
this can be a period of great energy gain in growing awareness or as
vibration, as energy is withdrawn from `being the personality'.
One's meditation gets deeper very quickly.
My current theory of what happens next is that when there is enough
energy withdrawn from the old structure: the personality has broken
down enough, then it triggers the activation to start to grow the
new structure. When something is metamorphosing in the existing
structure, when the old (house) is breaking down, eventually there
has to be the start to build the new (house). This trigger point is
what I call: kundalini awakening. After a few months of preparatory
nervous system changes to the body, then eventually the changes move
up through the chest and into the neck to make changes into the
physical structure of the neck/skull/brain. I experienced the third
death here, and as you might imagine it's totally physical - it's
not mental/intellectual, it's not emotional/feeling/vibration. This
was the hardest thing I've done so far, yet I see how it can't be
otherwise. To be reborn in the flesh, you truly will have to die in
the flesh. People have seen how animals and people die - it is
exactly the same as this, it is this, it's not a simulation in
virtual reality - when dying you gasp as you take your last breath
of air and make gurgle sounds, etc. I'm sure people don't want to
know about this, but I think it's good to have the information as a
kind of checkpoint. How can I say this more clear: kundalini
transformation is totally physical, it has little to do with the
mind and emotions and growing a new body in the existing is a
difficult process to go through, but it's the only way that the old
structure can be dissolved so that a new one can form. When the
changes to the body move up and approach the neck to get to the
brain, the Tranformative energy is stretching, contracting and
squeezing all that tissue in the neck, which will close off your
breathing. You will stop breathing when this happens, now the
challenge is to allow this death and go to center as the observer,
knowing you are dying and allowing it. All physical changes are made
this way. You can only get through the 3rd death with a total
physical surrender. Does this make sense? If it's a physical step
then the surrender step is to die. When you do this, then you are at
the end of being the personality, you will never go back to having
that structure in any future life, you are beyond that part of you,
and you are on the way to growing the new structure which serve you
for the next part of your journey. There's no going back.
It takes some time for the new body to grow, which is where I'm at
in the kundalini transformation process and I'm pretty certain that
at the end there will be the 3rd rebirth finale in which there will
be a third revelation, but this time I'll see it physically. I don't
see how it can be otherwise. Okay so this only explains one
metamorphosis in the continuum of my life.
Betsy
10/24/07: How to Stop Pretending to Be Alive
I have written a new article detailing how thought energy
gets reflected in one's body muscles as a charge potential
and how we can use what we feel in our body to detect
when we might be behaving 'as the personality.' There is
also practical advise for what one can do in this scenario to
practise de-fusing this reaction.
How To Stop Pretending to Be Alive
Betsy
gets reflected in one's body muscles as a charge potential
and how we can use what we feel in our body to detect
when we might be behaving 'as the personality.' There is
also practical advise for what one can do in this scenario to
practise de-fusing this reaction.
How To Stop Pretending to Be Alive
Betsy
I have written a new article and you can read it by clicking
on this link:
Epigenetics & Awareness: Science & Spirituality grow closer.
(Alternative title: Personality is the cause of disease)
Betsy
on this link:
Epigenetics & Awareness: Science & Spirituality grow closer.
(Alternative title: Personality is the cause of disease)
Betsy
10/09/07: Kundalini "Holds" - Pain in meditation
I have posted a new article regarding the
symptom of feeling pain in the upper shoulders, neck or back during meditation. This kind of pain moves around
and doesn't have a physical or organic reason for it.
You can read the article here:
Kundalini "Holds" - Feeling pain in meditation
Betsy
symptom of feeling pain in the upper shoulders, neck or back during meditation. This kind of pain moves around
and doesn't have a physical or organic reason for it.
You can read the article here:
Kundalini "Holds" - Feeling pain in meditation
Betsy
10/05/07: Update on My Kundalini Transformation
This week there was a change in the kriyas, where I
noticed the crunching activity of bones and ligaments,
had moved from the shoulders inwards to the junction
of the shoulders and neck, in the back of the
neck and along the edge of the occipital bone.
I've made hundreds of passes of physical work through
each body part Of the central nervous system over the
last 20 months so that isn't what's different. What
I notice is changes in the nature of the changes being
made and how it feels, in general this has been moving
from the smaller finer underlying tissues buried more
deeply and now to the larger bones and parts moving
more profoundly and as a whole.
It's so hard to describe this physical phenomena to
someone else, even to myself, as it is so foreign to
anything I've ever felt in my body.
One is familiar with the flexibility of their
skull upon their neck and the many directions one
can move one's head: left, right, down, up, back, etc.
One knows that one can increase this range of motion
of the head with exercize. This is nothing like that.
Instead what is happening is that the vertebrae of
the neck now feel like they have stretchy elastic
movement in all directions. Couple this with the changes
to the skull, as the bones of the skull now move as
a whole in any direction of stretch. My skull often
feels like a ball on a stretchy stick, with a huge
power coming up the spine driving the movements.
It's starting to feel really good.
More people today are aware that the cranial bones
move and articulate, but what I'm experiencing is more
than that. After 1000's of hours of popping and stretching
of ligaments and muscles and of opening sutures,
which worked to widely separate all cranial bones and
allow them to freely move in all directions, it now comes
to where the whole skull glides and expands and contracts
as one unit in any direction with the kriya stretch on
an increasingly flexible neck. It's very much expressed
more than energetic internal movement,it's physical and
observable.
As the spinal column grows closer to completion also the
healing of the skeleton and arms and limbs increases.
The right leg this week is growing and changing daily
and makes it very difficult to walk. For me my short side
of my skeleton was on the right, here I had shorter and
tigher ligaments so I tipped to the right. As these
shorter ligaments in the skull and neck are stretched
finally, it releases the hip and shoulder joints. Because
the hips and shoulders are now in new positions this has
the side-effect to cause changes to the joints in the
arms and legs. The limbs aren't stretched very much,
the growing and change of them seems to happen mostly
in the resting phases. Only once in a while one needs to
put pressure on a joint to free up a restriction.
There are strong pulls or stretches through the tissues
of the skull, being performed in systematic paths in various
directions that make a circle through the entire CNS, through
the body.The left side of skull is worked in this path,
then the right side, then the two together. These very
powerful pulls then will 'invert' the mandible, pulling it out
of the TMJ joint and twisting it inwards towards the neck.
These movements are caused from the charging of the muscles
connected to the mandible and other bones necessary for this
kind of movement and aren't necessarily like this, it's more
how it feels. I think this is due to the masseter muscle being
stretched along the edge of the mandible.
After the initial work was done with articulation of the
neck vertebrae and the pulling out of the mandibles on both
sides, then I noticed a huge increase in energy in the body
and the strong growing in the limbs that is happening in the
last few days. Also when the neck articulation was happening
then there were changes in the sacrum and pelvis as well, where
the lower back fully arched back, the sacrum opened fully
and flexed and the tailbone tucked up tight towards the anus.
(This has happened many times before, it's just more complete
now.) There has been much popping all along the spinal column
vertebrae, and this feeling of flexible stretchy
articulation is moving down the spine from the neck.
In the last days when I do a session I tire quickly after
about an hour and then the growing energy gets very strong
and I'm lying down and/or taking it very easy. So a nice
break from the average of 10 hours per day over the last
4 months or so. Now I am doing about 4 hours per day over the
last few days and crave more sleep. But sleep isn't very
restful because of the joint and bone adjustments, I'm
constantly doing full body yawn-like stretches and turning
to get comfortable.
I know this will end soon, yet still don't know when or how
much longer. I focus now on the progress, telling myself:
this had to be done - stay focused on the moment.
This helps me to avoid disappointment and gives me
the needed enthusiasm at this stage to keep going.
Betsy
Anonymous: "I am tired. These recent years I have enquired to the point of exhaustion, seeing clearly but failing to break the glass. I have surrendered the impossible me and its river of antics unto the ocean
of Being at every opportunity yet still the frothing horse pulls at the wagon. Devotion is tangible yet surrender seemingly an impossible paradox."
Spontaneous Awakening is a Myth, Awareness is a growing process
I have voiced nearly the same a few years ago. My intensity of self-inquiry was so strong, I was totally dedicated to it, practicing every day and listening, trying to find answers of how to surrender. Quite frequently I would get reminded from life or from others that I was lapsing back into unconsciousness, sucking into the world of the 'me'. At this point I started reading all the spiritual masters works I could find to try to discover what I needed to do to surrender. My own mentor at the time kept beating me up with his 'disgust' that I could not do this step. He would say: you surrender, but then I don't understand your primitive behavior. (Implying strongly that I was not succeeding. This was okay, because it would take me
back to the drawing board.) I felt so much like a failure, wanting to so badly go beyond but having no clue what I needed to do more.
From what I could glean from the spiritual writings, surrender would happen when I gave up, and it apparently would be permanent, I only had to do it once. In a poem, Rumi said you only have to stay awake one night, so I made my meditations longer, trying to stay alert, trying to stay focused for as long as possible. The Buddhists said you only have to have a sustained surrender of 45 minutes then you would be 'finished'. Many other masters said they had had a spontaneous awakening, and that was all it took. The non-duality people were saying the same. In all the written material I looked at I could not find anything different and because I couldn't do it my feelings of being a failure were weighing me down heavily. I would cry out in the night, asking for help, for guidance on how to do it.
I now understand that my feelings of being a failure because I couldn't surrender came out of a commonly held societal belief about what surrender is and populated by self-proposed masters. Because I didn't know what surrender was, I could only presume that those ones wiser than myself could tell me what it was. I was wrong
about that, and the reason why I write this article is it's time to dispel the myth about what is awareness and what is surrender. With added information about surrender, people on this path can be spared the sense of failure of inability to surrender that I was plagued with for so long.
If you look closely at the sentiment above, you might be able to see 2 things about it. The first is that there is a desire: to surrender, and the second there is disappointment in not being able to fulfill one's
desire. The sentiment itself comes from the 'little me' and the feelings of failure are also from the 'little me', coming out of holding the beliefs about surrender. One will not be able to drop one's desire to go beyond
oneself, because at this point in one's journey one has seen one's aspect clearly and there is nothing else that matters more than to realize one's full potential. With correct information about the situation one is in, it might be possible for one to drop one's expectations about surrender and at least get out of the thinking-feeling cycle of desire/failure that is draining and wasting energy unnecessarily. Beliefs that we hold
about awareness only need to be dropped.
The fact is that the 'little me' won't disappear in an instant. The 'little me' is who you are at this moment in time, and is expressed as a whole as your physical form. Who you are is changing each time that you surrender. You surrender successfully each time you successfully totally quiet the mind/feeling reaction that is the structure of your personality. This might only be a second, a few minutes or longer, depending upon your ability coming out of your previous meditation practice. The act of surrender is exactly the same as that which you do when you pass between the waking state and falling asleep. You can't fall asleep until you shut up, yet everyone knows how to do it. Each time you surrender, your body is changed to 'realize' the awareness - to keep it - to manifest it. Awareness is a growing process, resulting from time of surrender. For example when you surrender 1 minute, awareness uses this 1-minute to make changes to your physical form to change your awareness, mainly by changes to the nervous system. Because of the changes done to your body in this one minute the result is that the structure of the 'little me' has been reduced and your awareness has been increased. This also makes it that the next time you practice to surrender it will be slightly easier because your awareness is higher and the ego reduced. So then you might understand that the way the 'little me' goes away is gradually by changes done to your body each time you surrender.
Sometimes the surrenders you make are longer and deeper and thus there are leaps in your awareness do to more extensive changes made to your body in the quiet interval, which is the reason why beliefs about spontaneous awakening abound. While these surges in awareness are profound, they are only stepping-stones and are not full awareness. Many Personalities are lured back into personal identification and become stagnant, because they believe they have finished the needed work and thus they quit surrendering.
What people need to know these days is that full awareness will happen when the physical changes are completed in the body, it can't be different. The very nature of the non-aware human form - what we all have is dual, even the brain supports it. The ego itself exists as a physical structure in the body and only awareness can change it. There is no way to think
oneself out of this dilemma not to figure it out.
Surrender is the only way to make the change.
There are three stages to awareness that follow the laws of manifestation. The first is to complete the conceptual or mind stages, the second one follows with has to do with control of emotional energy and the last is the physical stage, known as kundalini awakening. But one doesn't need to worry about any of these stages or try to figure anything out. It's very simple, really the only thing one needs to know is how to surrender and to keep surrendering as much as you feel you want to, and each time you do a physical change will be made to your body. If your awareness in increasing then you know how to surrender, congratulations and keep doing what has been working for you. When your body has passed through the physical changes there will be no doubt that you have finished, as it has nothing to do with what you believe.
Betsy
of Being at every opportunity yet still the frothing horse pulls at the wagon. Devotion is tangible yet surrender seemingly an impossible paradox."
Spontaneous Awakening is a Myth, Awareness is a growing process
I have voiced nearly the same a few years ago. My intensity of self-inquiry was so strong, I was totally dedicated to it, practicing every day and listening, trying to find answers of how to surrender. Quite frequently I would get reminded from life or from others that I was lapsing back into unconsciousness, sucking into the world of the 'me'. At this point I started reading all the spiritual masters works I could find to try to discover what I needed to do to surrender. My own mentor at the time kept beating me up with his 'disgust' that I could not do this step. He would say: you surrender, but then I don't understand your primitive behavior. (Implying strongly that I was not succeeding. This was okay, because it would take me
back to the drawing board.) I felt so much like a failure, wanting to so badly go beyond but having no clue what I needed to do more.
From what I could glean from the spiritual writings, surrender would happen when I gave up, and it apparently would be permanent, I only had to do it once. In a poem, Rumi said you only have to stay awake one night, so I made my meditations longer, trying to stay alert, trying to stay focused for as long as possible. The Buddhists said you only have to have a sustained surrender of 45 minutes then you would be 'finished'. Many other masters said they had had a spontaneous awakening, and that was all it took. The non-duality people were saying the same. In all the written material I looked at I could not find anything different and because I couldn't do it my feelings of being a failure were weighing me down heavily. I would cry out in the night, asking for help, for guidance on how to do it.
I now understand that my feelings of being a failure because I couldn't surrender came out of a commonly held societal belief about what surrender is and populated by self-proposed masters. Because I didn't know what surrender was, I could only presume that those ones wiser than myself could tell me what it was. I was wrong
about that, and the reason why I write this article is it's time to dispel the myth about what is awareness and what is surrender. With added information about surrender, people on this path can be spared the sense of failure of inability to surrender that I was plagued with for so long.
If you look closely at the sentiment above, you might be able to see 2 things about it. The first is that there is a desire: to surrender, and the second there is disappointment in not being able to fulfill one's
desire. The sentiment itself comes from the 'little me' and the feelings of failure are also from the 'little me', coming out of holding the beliefs about surrender. One will not be able to drop one's desire to go beyond
oneself, because at this point in one's journey one has seen one's aspect clearly and there is nothing else that matters more than to realize one's full potential. With correct information about the situation one is in, it might be possible for one to drop one's expectations about surrender and at least get out of the thinking-feeling cycle of desire/failure that is draining and wasting energy unnecessarily. Beliefs that we hold
about awareness only need to be dropped.
The fact is that the 'little me' won't disappear in an instant. The 'little me' is who you are at this moment in time, and is expressed as a whole as your physical form. Who you are is changing each time that you surrender. You surrender successfully each time you successfully totally quiet the mind/feeling reaction that is the structure of your personality. This might only be a second, a few minutes or longer, depending upon your ability coming out of your previous meditation practice. The act of surrender is exactly the same as that which you do when you pass between the waking state and falling asleep. You can't fall asleep until you shut up, yet everyone knows how to do it. Each time you surrender, your body is changed to 'realize' the awareness - to keep it - to manifest it. Awareness is a growing process, resulting from time of surrender. For example when you surrender 1 minute, awareness uses this 1-minute to make changes to your physical form to change your awareness, mainly by changes to the nervous system. Because of the changes done to your body in this one minute the result is that the structure of the 'little me' has been reduced and your awareness has been increased. This also makes it that the next time you practice to surrender it will be slightly easier because your awareness is higher and the ego reduced. So then you might understand that the way the 'little me' goes away is gradually by changes done to your body each time you surrender.
Sometimes the surrenders you make are longer and deeper and thus there are leaps in your awareness do to more extensive changes made to your body in the quiet interval, which is the reason why beliefs about spontaneous awakening abound. While these surges in awareness are profound, they are only stepping-stones and are not full awareness. Many Personalities are lured back into personal identification and become stagnant, because they believe they have finished the needed work and thus they quit surrendering.
What people need to know these days is that full awareness will happen when the physical changes are completed in the body, it can't be different. The very nature of the non-aware human form - what we all have is dual, even the brain supports it. The ego itself exists as a physical structure in the body and only awareness can change it. There is no way to think
oneself out of this dilemma not to figure it out.
Surrender is the only way to make the change.
There are three stages to awareness that follow the laws of manifestation. The first is to complete the conceptual or mind stages, the second one follows with has to do with control of emotional energy and the last is the physical stage, known as kundalini awakening. But one doesn't need to worry about any of these stages or try to figure anything out. It's very simple, really the only thing one needs to know is how to surrender and to keep surrendering as much as you feel you want to, and each time you do a physical change will be made to your body. If your awareness in increasing then you know how to surrender, congratulations and keep doing what has been working for you. When your body has passed through the physical changes there will be no doubt that you have finished, as it has nothing to do with what you believe.
Betsy
09/26/07: Non-painful Transformation is a Myth
I watched the program the Biggest Loser on TV last night, and what is obvious looking at those fat people working out is that it is painful for all of them. To change themselves, they have to go beyond themselves
in all aspects: mentally, emotionally and physically. To energize long unused muscles is painful. When you first exercise dormant muscles, you don't feel pain, you just feel resistance. The next day when you wake up then you notice that your muscles are sore. This means that moving your muscles caused you pain, but the pain you are
actually feeling is transformative healing energy. Your muscles are being changed after the stretch of them, and are forming stronger. That is what pain is, pain is the symptom of change in your body and it is healing transformation. If you observe meditatively when you have pain, then you will see that it is also pleasure, there is a conversion of old to new happening.
You can almost see it linearly as in this analogy:
there is the healing tissue on the left, the pin-prick hot painful feeling in the center and then on the right the healed tissue (Like the tissue moves through this line). There is pain from the heat in the healing tissue and when it is transformed the healed tissue gives pleasure. This is actually happening immediately, meaning at the same time you feel pain, you can also feel pleasure.
What your senses pick up in a gross way is pain, but tuning in there is more to it. If one does not accept healing pain for what it is, then one will identify with it and bemoan the soreness - which results in slow healing and/or no healing at all. E.g., a person with sore muscles the next day, may decide to not exercise again. But there is another way to deal with pain and
that is to simply observe it, when you do this, you dis-identify and you can see it different as healing transformative energy.
Kundalini Awakening or the physical transformation of your personality requires alot of pain, because it requires alot of healing transformation to take the 'old you' out, which is composed of 1000's of blockages in your body coming from your personalities repetitive ways of expressing your character. Yes, you can describe the physical symptoms of K. as painful, but it is no more than a strenuous physical workout and it comes from healing tissues, muscles, ligamentsand bones. Okay sometimes it's stronger than that, but know that you will never be given more than you can handle. How you relate to and deal with 'painful' events (mental, emotional or physical) is how you grow. Learning to relate to the transformative 'pain' will allow the change 'to you' to happen. The more you accept pain the more you lesson your personal resistance to change which of course because you've allowed the change, this healing is growing your awareness.
I know there are those that think you can have a non-painful transformation but this belief defies the natural laws of transformative change. It would be like imagining that a person can get slim and muscular again without having to pass through pain, or that a broken leg can be restored to good again without pain. If your body is to change, then you need the heat of transformative energy which you will experience as pain, but you need not identify with it as something to be avoided or as something which is dreadful.
Avoiding the experience of pain, is resistance of change or resistance to be healed which comes from the personality and the attitude of pain avoidance will prevent your transformation.
You will have to surrender.
Betsy
in all aspects: mentally, emotionally and physically. To energize long unused muscles is painful. When you first exercise dormant muscles, you don't feel pain, you just feel resistance. The next day when you wake up then you notice that your muscles are sore. This means that moving your muscles caused you pain, but the pain you are
actually feeling is transformative healing energy. Your muscles are being changed after the stretch of them, and are forming stronger. That is what pain is, pain is the symptom of change in your body and it is healing transformation. If you observe meditatively when you have pain, then you will see that it is also pleasure, there is a conversion of old to new happening.
You can almost see it linearly as in this analogy:
there is the healing tissue on the left, the pin-prick hot painful feeling in the center and then on the right the healed tissue (Like the tissue moves through this line). There is pain from the heat in the healing tissue and when it is transformed the healed tissue gives pleasure. This is actually happening immediately, meaning at the same time you feel pain, you can also feel pleasure.
What your senses pick up in a gross way is pain, but tuning in there is more to it. If one does not accept healing pain for what it is, then one will identify with it and bemoan the soreness - which results in slow healing and/or no healing at all. E.g., a person with sore muscles the next day, may decide to not exercise again. But there is another way to deal with pain and
that is to simply observe it, when you do this, you dis-identify and you can see it different as healing transformative energy.
Kundalini Awakening or the physical transformation of your personality requires alot of pain, because it requires alot of healing transformation to take the 'old you' out, which is composed of 1000's of blockages in your body coming from your personalities repetitive ways of expressing your character. Yes, you can describe the physical symptoms of K. as painful, but it is no more than a strenuous physical workout and it comes from healing tissues, muscles, ligamentsand bones. Okay sometimes it's stronger than that, but know that you will never be given more than you can handle. How you relate to and deal with 'painful' events (mental, emotional or physical) is how you grow. Learning to relate to the transformative 'pain' will allow the change 'to you' to happen. The more you accept pain the more you lesson your personal resistance to change which of course because you've allowed the change, this healing is growing your awareness.
I know there are those that think you can have a non-painful transformation but this belief defies the natural laws of transformative change. It would be like imagining that a person can get slim and muscular again without having to pass through pain, or that a broken leg can be restored to good again without pain. If your body is to change, then you need the heat of transformative energy which you will experience as pain, but you need not identify with it as something to be avoided or as something which is dreadful.
Avoiding the experience of pain, is resistance of change or resistance to be healed which comes from the personality and the attitude of pain avoidance will prevent your transformation.
You will have to surrender.
Betsy
09/24/07: Do you know that you are dreaming?
Everyone knows what it is like to dream, you are in a different world and most often you are relieved to wake up to touch reality and get out of the nonsense world of the dream. What people don’t know is that they are dreaming while they are awake too. The difference is that while awake they are not conscious they are dreaming. While asleep one’s mind and emotions are relaxed so one can realize they are dreaming and even review what the dream was after waking up. During the daytime, because one is busy reacting as the personality, one is manifesting one’s dream all day long and can’t remember it or review it, because all of one’s free energy is being used to create the dream, there is no free energy left to record the dream. (This aspect will change with rising awareness, as one will gain more energy and be able to see the dream during the daytime more frequently, thus making it that one can review it.) This is different from sleep because in sleep the personality is relaxed, yet still partly activates when images are processed in the brain, which causes personal reactions that form the dream. Different than waking, because one still has some awareness, not totally absorbed in thinking and emotional reactions, so one is able to recall the dream or even to know at the time that one is dreaming. You are more aware during dreaming than during your waking state!
If somebody could accept this as truth: that you are dreaming during the day, then I would expect that somebody would state:
Wow, I didn’t know that! I don’t want to be like this! I don’t want my whole life to be lived as if in a dream. I want to touch reality. Tell me how to get out of my dream.
But nobody expresses this, so I know they don't believe what I'm telling them and will go on with their dream.
Betsy
If somebody could accept this as truth: that you are dreaming during the day, then I would expect that somebody would state:
Wow, I didn’t know that! I don’t want to be like this! I don’t want my whole life to be lived as if in a dream. I want to touch reality. Tell me how to get out of my dream.
But nobody expresses this, so I know they don't believe what I'm telling them and will go on with their dream.
Betsy
09/24/07: The only technique needed is surrender
Question: What is your view on non-attachment techniques?
The mind looks for a technique, a concept, something it
can hold on to, it is the nature of the trap. The personality
resists change and ultimately death so latches onto everything
it can to keep it's definition of itself going. Most people on
this journey don't get beyond the mental steps, they end
up trapped in the self-image in more subtle forms, in essence
fooling themselves because of their accomplishments in
rising awareness. What isn't widely known is that awareness
is a growing process and surrender doesn't happen one time.
You will have to surrender for 1,000's of hours to complete
the physical transformation and before this many hours of
practise of meditation before K. will even activate. After
you complete the mental steps then will come the emotional
steps. When you pass this then there will be enough free energy
as awareness realized in you to activate the K.
With each successful surrender you
make your 'being' will take over in this space and make
changes to your body to manifest and realize the awareness.
Changes made to your body maintain your level of awareness,
very small a little bit at a time, some steps yeilding more dramatic
changes to your system from deeper surrenders.
This explains the growing process. Surrender is simple, everyone
knows how to do it, the act of the surreneder is identical to
the one you do each night when you shut up the 'talking one'
inside and fall asleep. I'm not saying that sleep is surrender,
just that instant where you finally get quiet and sleep overtakes you.
So you know how to do it, now do it while you are awake.
Each time you do it, you will grow in awareness. No technique
is needed, except for one to observe oneself and take the space
to practise this in whatever way you like and works for you.
Observing the result and if you are successful or not and then
making adjustments if needed is part of the process. So you
will use techniques that work for you to divert your energy
away from feeding the personality as the talking and feeling
ghost image.
Becoming the watcher of the mind and quieting oneself
is all that you need to learn to do. The more you practise this
the better you get at it, because your awareness keeps rising
with each success. Out of your quiet spaces you will get
guidance on what is your next step or what you might need
to do different. Getting stuck in techniques and in being somebody and
concepts is all part of it. The way to get out is to keep questioning
yourself remaining open to corrections and never ever
believe you have finished or are aware - this is the ultimate
trap.
Betsy
PS: Don't get fooled into thinking you are trying to quiet
the mind or emotions, or you will get trapped in this as well.
It is about being the observer of yourself, and for this
you must become as alert as a cat watching a mouse.
Keep your eye on your internal space, the reactions of
mind and emotions happening there, but don't try to
manipulate them in any way. You can only difuse the
reaction by shifting energy away from them. What
you focus on increases. If you think about your thinking
or feel about your feelings you will only feed the reaction,
making you become even more unconscious.
Non-thinking or non-emotional focal points are techniques
one can use to divert your energy away from the reaction.
(observe your breathing, focus on your senses and what
you are receiving through them, feel your inner energy,
look at an object, look at what you are working with
in your hands or how your feet touch the ground, etc.)
This is a surrender away from your old habit of feeding
your self-image with mind and feelings, by practising this
as much as possible during your day and during sitting
meditations you will slowly become more aware. It will
require alot of persistance and perseverance and an eagle
eye but with the desire to get out of the dream,
you will succeed.
The mind looks for a technique, a concept, something it
can hold on to, it is the nature of the trap. The personality
resists change and ultimately death so latches onto everything
it can to keep it's definition of itself going. Most people on
this journey don't get beyond the mental steps, they end
up trapped in the self-image in more subtle forms, in essence
fooling themselves because of their accomplishments in
rising awareness. What isn't widely known is that awareness
is a growing process and surrender doesn't happen one time.
You will have to surrender for 1,000's of hours to complete
the physical transformation and before this many hours of
practise of meditation before K. will even activate. After
you complete the mental steps then will come the emotional
steps. When you pass this then there will be enough free energy
as awareness realized in you to activate the K.
With each successful surrender you
make your 'being' will take over in this space and make
changes to your body to manifest and realize the awareness.
Changes made to your body maintain your level of awareness,
very small a little bit at a time, some steps yeilding more dramatic
changes to your system from deeper surrenders.
This explains the growing process. Surrender is simple, everyone
knows how to do it, the act of the surreneder is identical to
the one you do each night when you shut up the 'talking one'
inside and fall asleep. I'm not saying that sleep is surrender,
just that instant where you finally get quiet and sleep overtakes you.
So you know how to do it, now do it while you are awake.
Each time you do it, you will grow in awareness. No technique
is needed, except for one to observe oneself and take the space
to practise this in whatever way you like and works for you.
Observing the result and if you are successful or not and then
making adjustments if needed is part of the process. So you
will use techniques that work for you to divert your energy
away from feeding the personality as the talking and feeling
ghost image.
Becoming the watcher of the mind and quieting oneself
is all that you need to learn to do. The more you practise this
the better you get at it, because your awareness keeps rising
with each success. Out of your quiet spaces you will get
guidance on what is your next step or what you might need
to do different. Getting stuck in techniques and in being somebody and
concepts is all part of it. The way to get out is to keep questioning
yourself remaining open to corrections and never ever
believe you have finished or are aware - this is the ultimate
trap.
Betsy
PS: Don't get fooled into thinking you are trying to quiet
the mind or emotions, or you will get trapped in this as well.
It is about being the observer of yourself, and for this
you must become as alert as a cat watching a mouse.
Keep your eye on your internal space, the reactions of
mind and emotions happening there, but don't try to
manipulate them in any way. You can only difuse the
reaction by shifting energy away from them. What
you focus on increases. If you think about your thinking
or feel about your feelings you will only feed the reaction,
making you become even more unconscious.
Non-thinking or non-emotional focal points are techniques
one can use to divert your energy away from the reaction.
(observe your breathing, focus on your senses and what
you are receiving through them, feel your inner energy,
look at an object, look at what you are working with
in your hands or how your feet touch the ground, etc.)
This is a surrender away from your old habit of feeding
your self-image with mind and feelings, by practising this
as much as possible during your day and during sitting
meditations you will slowly become more aware. It will
require alot of persistance and perseverance and an eagle
eye but with the desire to get out of the dream,
you will succeed.
