An emotional reaction is a neurological response, which is generated in one’s body giving us information about the world we live in. When something happens then all the sensors in our body pick it up in various ways and this information is then available for further processing inside of us. High level ‘summarized’ information is given to us about it, basically as feelings or emotions, which serve to give us ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ information for our next action. At the rudimentary level, this system helps us to survive physically so that we can make decisions rapidly regarding fighting or fleeing from what might be felt as threatening to our survival. Looking more near it can be seen that all reactions serve to protect and defend the existing structure and that they are happening at a subconscious level, electrically and thus we can’t stop them from happening. What we do have control over is how we respond to the information being given as emotional signals in our bodies.
If we are not aware of the emotional reaction happening in our bodies as they occur, then we won’t be able to not become our emotional energy that is being triggered by happenings. This capability of ‘having control’ over one’s next response, is basically what awareness is about. At first this happens at the level of thought, but later it is seen that emotions are a more predominant driving factor. The defensive thinking of the personality wraps around the unresolved emotional issues of one’s childhood, and one feeds the other. To get out of this turning around oneself several things must be done and they are all at the feeling level. The first is that one must acknowledge that one has emotions (learn to feel them), the second step is that one must learn to express them in order to get out one’s reaction and make it visible for further observation. The last step is to learn to see the emotion as it arises, transmute it and let it go without reacting out of one’s emotionally charged defensive body.
Unresolved pain coming out of childhood issues is predominately the reason why people don’t want to feel their emotions. To start feeling and expressing one’s emotions starts to melt the ice and this built up unexpressed energy starts to come out and the pain is felt keenly. Not wanting this pain to resurface, the tendency is to want to find a way to suppress or eliminate further emotions in this direction… People find many ways to do this but basically they are all the same in that one is seeking a way to avoid feeling these uncomfortable emotions. It’s never seen that in order to find out how to respond to their emotions and become fully aware, then one must first become intimate with them, allowing one’s environment and all challenges that life is gifting to us, to affect us and then we need to express it.
What people generally try to do is suppress one’s emotions (deny them) and also they try to control their environment to reduce the possibility of having these uncomfortable happenings. They erroneously think the people and environment around them is causing them, and so it makes sense to try to control that space versus wanting to find out about their own causation. Probably the most intense and chaotic situations coming out of conflicts in relationships can be the best learning ground about one’s emotions, how to express them and how to stay calm in the midst of chaos, learning to express oneself out of one’s centeredness.
It’s normal behavior that people try to calm themselves and /or the space around them, hoping that by doing this these ‘nasty emotions’ will just go away and thus they erroneously believe that then they will feel better. So they might take a vacation, or move, or break up, or separate, or avoid talking to or being around certain people, or they might decide not to express themselves at all, or they will alter which activities they do, etc. Emotions can also be suppressed by taking drugs or alcohol, with relationships, with diversions and distracting activities, with being a workaholic, by being constantly busy or with eating food for example.
Emotional avoidance behavior is however not good for the health. What happens with this behavior is that the internal stress inside of our body gradually builds as long as one is not relating to and expressing one’s emotions appropriately. No system in nature can continuously hold energy; eventually it will find it’s way to the surface. This is then what is commonplace all over the world today due to build up internal pressure that isn’t finding a way to release itself in a healthy way: ill health, disease, anger, rage, war, psychosis, etc. This should be enough information for people to want to do something more creative with their emotions.