I Am Aware
I had decided to enter into a discussion group with some realized people and have a live chat and see if I could clarify my understanding, my basic idea was this:
“Having had a few glimpses that “your face is my face” and “my face is yours”, I learned to be open to others expressions. Instead of feeling the other was attacking with their response, it was turning into the question: “What are you trying to tell me?” Exposing my vulnerability and not afraid that others might see that I did not know or have all the answers — no longer caring about getting validation for my own self-image. I asked the questions I could not resolve. Knowing deep down that everyone was my teacher with a unique viewpoint that could be reflected back and by being willing to look into the mirrors with brute honesty and trust I would see the truth. Courage mustered and open to receive, I threw herself into the shadows of the unknown and when I asked my questions I received the answers.”
Earlier in the Day, I was chatting with people and several comments came up about how recognition of true self takes place and that the brain sees it. At this time, there were many comments flying and I could not read them all. When I thought about that and visualized what I saw through the brain, I realized that I saw no self. While I was invisible, I knew myself to be the emptiness from which everything arises. Then someone asked me what did I see and I said: “I see nothing.” After that, I cracked up laughing which lasted for some time.
Later in the day, I reviewed the comments in the thread and pulled out Nancy Neithercut‘s comments and wrote them on a piece of paper so I could look at them all in one place. I noticed the undercurrent of “You are the belief in separation” was repeated many times, feeling like it was being pounded into me. The part that really got me was: “Does that Make Sense?”, which made me pause…
The brain sees through its own charade, not you, you ARE the charade.
You’re asking how it happens, stems from the belief in separation, stems from the belief in separate moments and events, does that make sense?
Your insistence that someone is seeing stems from the belief in separation.
You were never broken.
You are the belief that you are separate from life and can figure it out.
The belief in separation.
Reason and non-reason are made-up.
It can’t be figured out. You are the belief, the belief that you are separate from life and it can be figured out.
As I read these words and copied them onto one paper from the long chat thread, it started sinking in and realized I am the belief in separation and what it meant, just seeing it all the striver, the trier, the fake one turning around in my own brain – and that I was never broken…
I am already aware, only the lie has to be dropped! I see the charade of the brain, what a clever place to be hiding.
After this realization, I started to feel ill with strong vibration in body rising and feeling I might vomit. I went and laid down and just felt tons of energy of fine tingling nature running through the body, like taking a light bath. It felt like a ton of energy held in the personality was releasing, I could see the conversion process going on, dark energy turning into light energy, like the body was healing all over and all the tension and pain was releasing. It feels so good, I cannot tell you. But also I feel this is going to take some time. But what a huge relief, here I am! All along I’ve been here, there was nothing to get. 🙂
August 27, 2016