Independence from Authorities


BeiYin: “Better stay with your ‘personality’, play as many games around yourself as you need to feel confirmed, but better don’t make a split, otherwise you are on the best way to the mental hospital and before this you might destroy also your surrounding. PS: Probably people in mental hospitals are nearer to enlightenment than most people outside…”

Osho on Politics: “Anybody who can be a good pretender, a hypocrite, will become your leader politically, will become your priest religiously. All that he needs is hypocrisy, all that he needs is cunningness, all that he needs is a façade to hide behind. Your politicians live double lives, our priests live double lives – one from the front door, the other from the back door. And the back-door life is their real life. Those front-door smiles are just false, those faces looking so innocent are just cultivated. If you want to see the reality of the politician you will have to see him from his back door. There he is in his nudity, as he is, and so is the priest. These kinds of cunning people have dominated humanity. And they found out very early on that if you want to dominate humanity, make it weak, make it feel guilty, make it feel unworthy. Destroy its dignity, take all glory away from it, humiliate it. And they have found such subtle ways of humiliation that they don’t come in the picture at all, they leave it to you to humiliate yourself, to destroy yourself. They have taught you a kind of slow suicide.”

Comment: I see that when one is crazy as defined by many in the professional field, then this person is typically totally identified with the inner dialog going on inside, there is no touch with their essential being and so they appear totally crazy to others. But there is another type of crazy that happens at the other end of the spectrum, where indeed there also exists the possibility to end up crazy. This results from the opposite scenario when one is growing away from being identified with one’s personality and the reactions happening as a result of this process. The closer they come to their own truth, the more they can be seen as crazy simply because they are not fitting into what is deemed as normal.

Also, consequently the less they can be controlled and manipulated by those who thrive upon people being dependent on them, or have the need to be a teacher or have others look up to them, typically priests, gurus, doctors, politicians and other kinds of strong leaders. These kinds of ‘crazy’ people are not wanted because they don’t conform to leader mandates, and even they might dare to question the leaders! If they do, then the leaders will do everything to discredit these people, labeling them as crazy is one way and if they can get other people to believe it then they are stronger with their attempt to eliminate the unwanted individual.

People around me are using exactly this technique against me, not having any compassion or understanding for me, but instead taking everything personal and then saying that my reactions of late are evidence that I’m crazy. It’s not enough that they keep this view to themselves or want to open a dialog with me about it direct to my face. Instead this allegation grows stronger to the point of being publicly voiced. I can see it in the faces of people I have contact with and hear the allegation behind their questions and words. When someone does go further and actively works to get support from other people by voicing their opinions together, then I can understand what Osho writes above. That this is clearly one of those subtle techniques that these back-door people use to get humanity to humiliate and destroy themselves, causing a slow suicide.

Of course, this is a question I have asked myself, and I must say that I don’t feel very secure at this time in my life and so I wonder about it as well. Many images and illusions I once had have crashed, and now I am quite certain that I can’t trust what my head is telling me. I also don’t have a stable or firm foundation at this time in another way, so I feel very much like in a void, standing between two places. So in a sense I do feel somewhat disoriented or crazy, because I don’t have a foundation I feel in any sense. I can observe that I’m still reacting, yet I see overall I’m calming down and gaining more knowledge about myself by being willing to confront all my reactions that I am aware of. More often I experience a calmness that gives me another kind of confirmation and in these moments I feel quite content with all that I’m doing, so it’s enough for me to convince myself that my path is the right one and I should continue on in the way that I am going.

I am no longer interested in swallowing another persons opinion about myself, or adopting another persons viewpoint about me. I see the damage that these kinds of words could have on a person in such a precarious position, and how they are being voiced mostly to convince other people of their truth and in essence are trying to eliminate my unwanted and disturbing presence. So I can only guess that my growing independence is felt as threatening and there is felt a need to eliminate me and my voice. I can only express that being in this position is quite challenging, because there is absolutely nobody who can understand what I’m going through and there is nobody that I am interested in getting confirmation from, so I’m not interested in talking about it. This leaves me all alone with my intention.

I see that I need much courage to continue to go on and trust that I am doing the right thing, and this I can’t get from anybody else. At this time, I will ignore all such outside comments which if I were to give heed to them would only serve to weaken and my honest and sincere intention. When I see these kinds of behaviors and what is behind it, I think it’s possible the person might have a good intention, even believing themselves that they are giving me these ‘hard words’ from a place of love, to shake me out of my craziness. So in this sense I don’t give any blame to anyone making such allegations. However, I am no longer willing to put my trust into the limited personal view of people outside of myself no matter how high they might see themselves. Hearing harsh words aimed at me has the effect to make my intention stronger to uncover a truth and a guidance that isn’t dependent upon getting confirmation or approval from other people on the outside. It leaves me feeling even more alone with nowhere else to turn to except within. So family, friends and foes, I thank you for your harsh words and strong critique, as I see they have made me stronger in my resolve to continue on with my journey within.

July 13, 2005

Posted in General Healing, Healing

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