Navigating Without A Compass


Navigating Without A Compass

Those questions that I posted about yesterday, I can see what it is about today. A few days ago I had this feeling like I did when I had an awakening in 1999, The song “Once in a Lifetime” from the Talking Heads comes to mind today as it did back then:

“And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?”

It was realizing that my entire life I have now and all I have going on, which includes my means to support myself, the location I live in, all my daily habits, my meditation, things I’ve written, etc, were all a product and habits of an being attached to a personal story. Now I can understand the essence of the ripping and shredding apart and Armageddon comments I’ve heard about with the Shift. When I saw a few days ago that there was no separate self, frankly I did not know what to do. It was a frozen feeling of action with a mind taking off and trying to process and integrate this information. Those questions arose from that concern, of how to carry on, how to live my life, what do I need to do ‘next’ (haha).

Then Nancy Neithercut posted a poem to her page yesterday wearing the Kermit the frog hat, which were the last words I read before sleep:

“you are a story
The Brains description of what is going on
When the story is not believed
It is unowned
And we become all stories”

This morning while contemplating, I realized that was what was going on in my life, the end of my story and the beginning of ours. Unowned, part of the whole, not knowing what will be next, not knowing what will remain and what will go away. Not knowing what will be next.

I feel I’m shifting, that everything I knew or felt I knew will be torn away, but also I know that newness will take the place of that. What I’ve always wanted. When I look at ‘my life’, really I can see it was not a happy one, even though it felt comfortable. So from that perspective, I am quite happy to let everything go. It only caused trouble and is too complicated and materialistic based on concerns for my personal survival. I look forward to entering into uncharted territory, feeling free, flying, singing and having more joy of living. The most precious thing in life cannot be taken away, it is eternally ours.

I truly, honestly can state, that I am no longer interested in ‘my story’. I understand the story was a kind of compass, giving me a feeling of direction and stability and belief I knew what was going on. I guess the next that happens is time will disappear.

August 31, 2016

Posted in Self-realization Tagged with: , , , , ,
2 comments on “Navigating Without A Compass
  1. Sadhvi says:

    I am immensely enjoying what I read from you. Really helpful. I find myself dropping the story, but was thinking…am I creating the story, “She is dropping her story”. When we become less interested, does this give indication that it is dropping? Thanks,


    • betsy rabyor says:

      Dear Sadhvi,

      Thank you for appreciation and comment. It’s a good question.

      I think the story is always there, like a never-ending story of a dream like quality.
      But that story is not you, nor is there “a you” creating it, and nothing is permanent about this self/world,
      it just keeps flowing from one thing to the next – like a dream. So it’s not like one can end the story or
      nothing would exist, it’s rather about not identifying with that story as being ‘you’.

      Yes, it is keen insight that you can be dropping your story and then believing you
      are dropping your story, so creating that reality. Which doesn’t help to get out
      of the illusion.

      This is recent post for me and after I wrote it, I found I had to work quite hard with hyper-awareness
      to stop myself from getting involved in the internal narrative and really it was not
      successful for very long. It kept popping up, but also I did notice my meditations went deeper at
      this time too — with silence. I also noticed often that silence would just overcome me unexpectedly
      at different times during day, there was no me doing that… To answer your question, I would
      say YES when we become less interested in our story, it is weakening it’s influence and it is helping…

      I’ve been pondering quite a few questions like this of late and it was very difficult to wrap my
      brain around them and understand. What really helped was to SEE reality how it truly is, which is
      of a dream-like quality, a streaming, uninterrupted flow of appearances.
      We are dreamed characters, there is no self existing.

      It is like we are asleep in the dream (exactly like one is at night), not realizing we are dreaming.
      The nature of reality is we are dreaming.

      It might be helpful for you to join a discussion group I know about in Facebook that can help clarify these finer points.
      If interested make friends with me on Facebook and send me a PM.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


fourteen − fourteen =