Navigating Without A Compass
Those questions that I posted about yesterday, I can see what it is about today. A few days ago I had this feeling like I did when I had an awakening in 1999, The song “Once in a Lifetime” from the Talking Heads comes to mind today as it did back then:
“And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?”
It was realizing that my entire life I have now and all I have going on, which includes my means to support myself, the location I live in, all my daily habits, my meditation, things I’ve written, etc, were all a product and habits of an being attached to a personal story. Now I can understand the essence of the ripping and shredding apart and Armageddon comments I’ve heard about with the Shift. When I saw a few days ago that there was no separate self, frankly I did not know what to do. It was a frozen feeling of action with a mind taking off and trying to process and integrate this information. Those questions arose from that concern, of how to carry on, how to live my life, what do I need to do ‘next’ (haha).
Then Nancy Neithercut posted a poem to her page yesterday wearing the Kermit the frog hat, which were the last words I read before sleep:
“you are a story
The Brains description of what is going on
When the story is not believed
It is unowned
And we become all stories”
This morning while contemplating, I realized that was what was going on in my life, the end of my story and the beginning of ours. Unowned, part of the whole, not knowing what will be next, not knowing what will remain and what will go away. Not knowing what will be next.
I feel I’m shifting, that everything I knew or felt I knew will be torn away, but also I know that newness will take the place of that. What I’ve always wanted. When I look at ‘my life’, really I can see it was not a happy one, even though it felt comfortable. So from that perspective, I am quite happy to let everything go. It only caused trouble and is too complicated and materialistic based on concerns for my personal survival. I look forward to entering into uncharted territory, feeling free, flying, singing and having more joy of living. The most precious thing in life cannot be taken away, it is eternally ours.
I truly, honestly can state, that I am no longer interested in ‘my story’. I understand the story was a kind of compass, giving me a feeling of direction and stability and belief I knew what was going on. I guess the next that happens is time will disappear.
August 31, 2016