Poem: Vigilance

Poem: Vigilance

For years I’ve been vigilant
noticing when I’m suffering
knowing these are moments
to see my identification.

But what has been fooling me
for so long, are those moments
when I’m not suffering
being happy with my program.

I almost feel angry at those wise ones
who write about noticing one’s reactions
that they are like waves on the sea,
to accept – that these too shall pass.

Truly, I can’t be angry at anyone
because I know that I’ve only seen
what I wanted to see. My only concern
was drowning out my misery.

How long should one accept being the
watcher, letting all these emotions
rock one, seemingly out of control
but happy to be able to watch them?

Can one squarely confront the fact
that reactions of happiness
are when one’s interpretation of
reality suits one to a tee?

Can one squarely confront the fact
that reactions of misery
are when reality doesn’t fit
one’s own interpretation?

I am no longer interested in changing
my interpretation, to counteract
my disappointment with reality
knowing now, all serves to confirm.

Being tired of these manipulations
leaves me in an empty field.

~ Betsy ~
August 25, 2004

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Poetry Tagged with: , , , , ,

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