This morning coming across Nancy Neithercut’s words on a printed page: “We are the dream from which we imagine we can escape or transcend. The deeply integrated apprehension of that is the awakening.”
I get the feeling this is what I don’t want to confront, there totally is no self and the only sense of I-ness is this dreamed character as perception and appearance. Logically, there cannot be any doer, nor thinker, nor being in that dream space. Dream is always past tense, it’s appearances, perception, reflection. It is the appearance of my mind. It seems to be light of Oneness streaming through this brain/body and manifesting this dream appearance. It’s clear that it is futile to try to do anything in that reality – not like anyone could do anything anyway — just believing one is doing something and turning around in one’s mind in a dream. Any trying or belief you are doing something is just ignorance, creating the condition or reinforcing the mind’s programming to keep one asleep in the dream. Then I am Oneness … But there is no separate self as the Omnipresence of Oneness makes that impossible. Hmmm. “You are the belief in separation.” (Nancy) What does that really mean? Belief in Separation seems to be due to believing there is a creator and a created, cause and effect – the dualistic viewpoint itself that sees 2 instead of 1. The unseen and the visible. I’ve went back and forth on identity with each of these opposite ends of the spectrum over the years and in recent months it seems I am going back and forth every few days from one to the other. Seemingly, trying to locate the base of truth in this changing appearance from alternative points of view and coming to the conclusion there is only this dream and there is no I doing it.
October 28, 2016