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Why do we want to give? Most of us think that by giving of ourselves or by giving a gift, we are helping others or showing our love for others. This reason satisfies us, and makes us feel good that we are doing our part, and because of this we don't have a reason to look behind to discover what could be the real reason we want to give.

 

Is anybody truly capable to give something without expecting something in return? At first glance, many will answer this question, "Yes, I've given something without expecting anything in return". But to honestly answer this question, one has to clearly observe one's thoughts and motives. If anyone really wants to find out about it, then the hidden motivation can be seen...

 

For example, I know people who are offering their artistic expression for free, meaning they are not requesting money for their paintings, music or writing. But this doesn't mean that they are not expecting something in return for their expression, simply because they aren't charging for it. Often the person hopes to become well known and famous in the future, for what they are expressing now for free. Most people who are doing this are not conscious about it, and instead believe that they are doing it for humanity as a generous gift to change the world. Most 'artists' spend years refining their 'art' making it into that which they think people will like and give them the most of the desired reward in the future. While I have used artists as an example, the truth is that all of us are seeking confirmation for our existence, and because of this all of our giving or self-expression has behind it this selfish inner need. Yes, this is 'natural' and unconscious but maybe not in ALL of us. Because when we are in a state of going beyond our personal behavior then it doesn't come out of a 'selfish need' but rather IS an expression of love, although mostly not recognized and so not confirmed.

 

We need to receive a response *we like* from the outside, from what we are expressing. This is the same as being dependent upon a material reward for what we give, like in our jobs. Often one will stop giving their gift if they don't receive the desired confirmation for it, or they will demand a fee or something in return. This is everywhere prevalent in our society today. Of course, asking for something in return for what one gives up front (the usual scenario of trading gifts at Christmas), is a more obvious route of material reward. The reason people have to receive a reward for everything is because they are identified with their personalized viewpoint and therefore have the strong urge to validate it - all our daily doings serve this underlying need and we aren't conscious about it.   

 

So then the next question could be: "Is it possible to give something without wanting something for oneself and how would one know if one was being true to this ideal?" Yes, it's possible after one has seen through the illusion of the ego, and realizes the futility of gaining anything for oneself. Then one ceases the game of striving to build and refine one's self-image and no longer seeks self-confirmation for it. Knowing that one is not separate from the whole, then one realizes that the act of expressing ourselves without the need to be confirmed is by itself the best and the most that can be given for all. Because there is nothing permanent that can be held onto and because we are all one, we are all changed when someone expresses themselves from their heart. If one's heart felt expression has the affect to provoke a strong reaction in the person receiving it, isn't this the most that can happen and the most personally rewarding because one has spoken one's truth?

 

We all know about the sad state of the world today, which has been entirely caused by humans. This is happening because the majority of humanity is fixated on this need to prove their self-image. In the process of blowing themselves up to bigger and bigger proportions, and carving out their 'personal niche', they are destroying everything with their desire for ever-lasting life. It should be obvious from looking at our situation today that not enough people are offering this most important gift that could turn around our situation - making a creative change for everybody. So then isn't the most meaningful gift everyone could give, would be to discover how to truly express oneself without expecting anything in return?

 

Isn't this what is meant by Love?

 

December 18, 2023