01/13/11: The Four Dark Nights & Awakenings
Category: Self Awareness & Transformation
Posted by: ysteban
The Four Dark Nights & Awakenings
What is the Dark Night of the Soul?
Dark night of the soul is a metaphor used in spiritual circles. The term describes a phase in one’s spiritual process, often marked by a sense of loneliness, desolation, and feeling of wanting to die and sometimes with the feeling of going crazy. It is common phenomena experienced on one’s soul journey of becoming spiritual, or of going from bodily identification to union with one’s higher self. What I define as dark night of the soul is like the story of Job in the bible where he feels that everything he loved has been taken away from him, his wife, his children, his farm and his way to make a living. You feel as if all is taken away from you and you cry for days on end, and you can feel like you no longer want to live anymore without what ‘was lost’, you feel you can’t go on and you might come near to the edge and think about ending your life.
I think a better name for this phenomenon would be dark night of the ego. This is because the soul or spirit represents the deepest energetic layer of true self, and the cause of this symptom has nothing to do with the soul. Rather the cause of this symptom is due to one’s attachment to an energetic layer of ego. Ego as used in this article is a synonym for ‘me’, my personality, bodily representation of self, how one views oneself or self-image. Ego is held together through identification with physical manifest aspects of self (that which we can observe or see), which exist at different vibration or energetic levels. As we move through each level of transformation of self, we encounter the next vibration level.
Having gone through a long process of transformation with hindsight I realized there was more than one dark night. The second time it happened, I noticed that all the issues that came up the first time were coming up again; nearly identical to the first time which I thought I had gone beyond. I felt like I was repeating, that I had been walking in circles for years and felt like a failure. When it happened the third time, then I knew for sure I was progressing, and could see that each dark night corresponded to a different set of issues, representing a different layer of identification with the personality.
On our journey of awakening there are four dark nights of the soul and three awakenings that happen between them, where each happens as one passes through the stage of dropping identification with one of the energetic layers of ego. There is then the 4th stage of awakening at the end of the process which can be seen as full enlightenment. The ego is held together from the three main ways that we attach to and identify with manifested energetic aspects of self. The three layers that make up the ego and to which we identify with are mind, emotions and body, where spirit is the base of all of them.
The journey to become our true self in body is like a healing of the personality, which happens in reverse order of how these layers were laid down in the building up of our personality. The first layer is cognitive (mental imprinting) which we learn approximately from the ages of 3 to 26 years, to the end of physical growing of the body and mind. The second layer is precognitive (emotional or fetal imprinting) which we learn approximately from the ages of conception to 3 years, before we have highly developed cognitive mind, and exist at a deep unconscious level. The last layer is the physical body at the DNA level, which we amassed over many lifetimes and also has ancestral imprinting influences due to our inherited genes from our mother and father.
Why are there 4 stages of physical transformation?The reason why there are 4 stages of personal transformation is based on the fundamentals of how something is created. The journey of personal transformation is all about transmuting one’s personality into full awareness, it is all about recreating yourself as a new entity, thus it goes through the same steps of creation. We know how to create something as a human being in the world of objects:
1. We observe an object in the physical world using our sensory apparatus.
2. We process internally thinking about what we have seen and ask questions about it. We then decide what we want to do with it, of which answer to our question can come either from inspiration or from thinking itself, depending upon our ability. Having made the decision this forms our intention and direction for the use of our energy with action.
3. Once we have decided what to do, we need one more step and that is to use our will to actually do it. With our idea and will to do it, intention gets set and energy follows our focus. Energy charges move from the brain to the appropriate body muscles, allowing us to move our energy from thought to feeling to action or doing in the external world.
4. We move and do the action and the desired thing is created in the physical world.
Being an individual, as personality in a body, one might say one is created as that when one is born. To transform ourselves as we are in a body, we have to recreate that body by ourselves using the same principles of how we create some other object. This time the object we focus on is ourselves.
Pattern of transformation: Awakening and dark night cycles
Each layer of personal transformation goes through distinct phases. First there is identification or attachment with that layer of self. Due to this attachment misery and dissatisfaction eventually becomes the norm and because of this pain one becomes ready to give up another layer of attachment. At this point, you are on the verge of letting go of identification with the ego layer you are hanging onto. How many of the four cycles you will experience in your lifetime is not certain, it depends upon your starting point, from all you have learned so far and your current state of evolution. One can spend an entire lifetime in any one or these cycles.
Awakening
In the instant one truly is able to stop clinging, spiritual awakening or rising of being happens, and a huge amount of energy you were previously holding in ‘tension’ as that energetic form is released. A transformation process ensues which is being fueled by this huge amount of energy, which is the biological aspect of awakening accompanied with profound healing and spiritual reactions. One feels elated and joyous for many days following the spiritual awakening. It is typical you encounter your true self as a spiritual being and you feel fully awake. You normally experience many charismatic symptoms such as tones, flashing lights, rushes of internal wind, numbness, tingling, going out of body, insights, crystal clarity, visions, repressed memories, telepathy, hyper-hearing, enhanced vision, loss in weight, elation, laughing, etc. The majority of these symptoms are a side-effect due to a biological transformation process going on in your body which is changing your nervous system including your mind.
The awakening energy settles down
After the big high and thrill of spiritual awakening, the released energy will continue to work strongly in the brain and body, going into deeper layers which will go on for many months. As this happens ego tends to activate strongly as old memories and emotions are stirred up from the depths. As the healing process intensifies you start to feel heavy and tired, you feel pains in the body, strong emotions are common, weird thoughts, old memories, dreams and memories of past lives start to flood in to your awareness. Because of this side-effect, one tends to identify strongly with the ego side of self again. It is common that many new and false ideas and beliefs are adopted during this stage, as ways to explain what is happening and what one is receiving. One tends to interpret many of the insights one receives, inventing a story and reason for them and thus tends to go into a kind of head trip. Because you are stronger energetically, a larger amount of energy is now getting diverted into making an ego much stronger than before. It is largely due to these phenomena, that one can get deeply enmeshed in the dark night of the soul.
Eventually, the big energy that was released appears to settle and one starts to feel like normal again. But one is not the same; one now knows oneself as essentially spiritual and through the process many revelations and insights have increased one’s knowledge which one will never forget. With this deepening of the healing and a feeling of return to normalcy, there is a growing sense that what was gained is now lost. It is typical that your entire value system changes after an awakening event, due to new information you receive. You reprocess everything known with the new information, and arrive at a new set of values, you see everything differently. Because of this one tends to let go of identification with all objects that were associated with the level you are going through. It is normal that one loses interest in old friends, family values, geographical location, money, possessions, beliefs, religious attachments, habits and career interest, to name the most common.
The Dark Night begins
As one comes back down to earth, one starts to feel normal again, and the elation of the spiritual high seems to be gone. Then it seems like one gave up so much and now has nothing left, that one starts to feel very alone and desolate. You start to wonder if you have a reason left to live. It is normal that a depression develops and one’s thinking and feelings started to become dominate. One’s thinking tends to get heavy and dark, and crying can often be non-stop for days on end. Prior to this event you had strong attachment to ego and could get some strong reactions out of it, but after this event you have more energy thus can get even stronger ego reactions than you could before. If you allow the old habit to be identified with thinking and feelings (chattering and emoting) to go on unabated, then the ego will get stronger and stronger. It seems when we feel we’ve lost something then we cling even stronger to what is known and familiar to us. Thus we start clinging to our mind and emotions again, and in a sense we start to get crazy, extremely sad, dark, we are getting lost in the mind and emotions again. At this moment we are firmly entrenched in the dark night of the soul. Even though this stage feels dark it is actually still part of the metamorphosis. Your level of energy vibration in the body and your awareness level remain higher than before your awakening, it is just working at deeper layers of blockages and elements of your personality. The dark night of the soul phenomena is actually a cleansing process, during it a huge amount of energy held in tension in the body, mind and emotions is released. Crying is often the form that this huge energy is released from personality. Crying frees tension from the mind and the heart. You will notice when you cry hard, your heart and your head hurts. Know that when it gets the darkest, the light is very near, just hang in there.
How to get through the Dark Night of the Soul
What has happened in the awakening event is your body and mind, and your entire nervous system has been changed due to that explosion of energy. How you process information and respond and react to happenings in daily life is now different due to those changes. However what hasn’t happened yet is you do not know how to use the new tools that you have been given and that are growing capacities in you. You are still used to the old habit of attaching to the object you are now in the process of letting go of. At this moment the amount of energy you have at your disposal is much greater than before the awakening, but you do not know how to direct this energy yet.
The way to get through this most efficiently and with least amount of pain is to seek center as much as you can, no matter which phase you are experiencing. The reason this is so, is to know that changes are being done to the brain itself, and thus thinking and feelings are very unreliable during this phase. The best thing to do is not to cling to the edges – meaning the symptoms happening (that which is visible and formed), which includes mind, emotions and body. One must seek center over and over to the space that provoked this event and that which is the source of everything. Being as one with your center, in your place of stillness, is like riding out the hurricane force that is happening now in your body and mind, by staying safely in the calm center which is like the eye of the hurricane.
There are many meditation tools that can help one go to center or achieve ‘quiet mind’ state so as to ride out this storm. Which tools works for you are partly personal preference, part experimentation and part what has worked for you in the past. Indeed before the awakening happened you were able to achieve quiet mind state and be fully in center, because that is how a surge in energy happens and what precedes an awakening event. Try to do that again. To repeat, the most I can say about it is to know you can’t trust your thinking and feelings at this point in time and to do everything you can to tune them out and get quiet. The more you practice with meditation tools, the better you will get at going to center, and the easier it will be to ride out this storm. On another note, each dark night you pass through will require a deeper level of getting quiet.
The 4 Dark Nights & 4 Awakenings
1st Dark Night – I think therefore I am
The first dark night can last a long time. It is the reality of the majority of humanity that has not yet awaked to one’s true self. In this stage, one is primarily identified with objects, where thought is the main object. Everything ones does and receives in life is filtered through thinking. One lives one’s life totally in one’s mind. While in the waking state, there is a non-stop chatter, or constant inner dialogue that is happening all day long. This often carries into one’s night where difficulty to sleep is an indication that one has little ability to turn off the mind. The personality is nearly always fully energized night and day. One is still in the process of building up the ego, and fully identified with one’s ability to think and self-reflect. In this state, there is no capability to be able to objectively observe the internal chatter. Because thinking is invisible to us, we and the thinker are one. I think therefore I am. While in this mindset, everything one does has the underlying purpose to gain validation and properties to build up one’s self-image in one’s own and others eyes. How one sees oneself and how one perceives that others see oneself is of primary importance. Everything is done to grow one’s personality to larger proportions, to amass more attributes. Attributes are widely varied as much as individuals vary, so even being seen as a bad egg, can be valuable to some and they will cultivate this property to the maximum. The negative side of this state is that nearly all actions coming out of it are harmful to self or others, because the main motivation is to gain for oneself, and this can only be done is somebody else loses. It’s the dog eat dog world we know today, full of violence, destruction, stealing, killing, fighting and sickness. One can actually be happy for quite some time in this state, as long as one is gaining properties and getting a sense of satisfaction from it. The dark night starts when the game no longer satisfies and problems of all kinds start.
1st Awakening –Being arises as mind
Eventually after enough possessions have been amassed to build up one’s self-image, one comes to realize that our activities in life are not resulting in a profound feeling of happiness and well being. We start to admit the reality that we are miserable inside and that getting things is not making us happy. This is a big turning point, where we withdraw our attention from our busy activities in the outside world to the inside world and start to look for answers from other sources. The old game of getting more has worn out, and we seek for something else. This stage is also known as the seeking stage. We start to investigate spirituality, read self help books, seek for a closer connection with God, or do things like therapy or spiritual exercise to get to the bottom of the problem. Innately we want to be happy and what we have determined is getting things doesn’t make us happy, so we are ready to try something else. This stage can take a long time, and there are many intermediate steps within it. It’s a lot like unraveling the layers of mind that make up the personality. It’s a time of self-questioning, observing oneself and gaining self-knowledge.
Awakening happens by itself when we fully stop the internal chatter, which can happen in many different ways. We can suddenly go quiet after an accident or great trauma, after a sudden insight, after seeing something beautiful or awe inspiring, or while sitting in one’s mediation. What is significant is for a moment we got quiet in mind, long enough to release held energy being imprisoned by our non-stop internal chatter. During that space of total quiet, our true self arises into our mind and we see our true nature and know we are not the thinker. We know we see we are the source behind the thinking, we have seen beyond the veil, beyond that which was blinding us. It is the first glimpse of our energetic self and we realize we are god-like creatures, we have awakened to our true nature.
2nd Dark Night – I am Spiritual & The Head Trip The first time one has seen one’s true nature and is awakened, a flood of insights comes into one’s awareness as well a vision of one’s life purpose. It’s like receiving all the wisdom you need to go on, and giving you information of why you are here and what are your special gifts. As being first arises into the mind, all this information comes and one will also feel like they are like a super computer, the thinking goes so fast. The problem with information given at this point of time is that you tend to add your own level of interpretation to it, to be able to understand it. It’s like receiving pure information, but you are still the story teller, so you add your own words to connect the pieces of pure information together. This old habit of interpreting what we receive creates a lot of weird and wacky stories of why we are here and what is our life mission. We tend to go into a head trip after the first awakening, and many people never get out of it. The mental wards are full of people who have spiritually awakened and got stuck in the head trip, which is another appropriate name for this dark night. We come out of it thinking we are God’s chosen one, or we are Jesus reincarnated, or some other famous person. Now we want to save the world and while our intention is good, it is misguided, as we don’t know any better. We tend to get carried away with our new found meaning and purpose in life. It becomes our new identification.
As we drop identification with one object, it is still our nature to grab the next one, the newest one, and so we do. This can be another long dark night, but not as long as the previous one, each dark night gets shorter over time. After awakening one identifies now with one’s spiritual aspect and tends to totally ignore one’s mind and emotions, which results in creating a split in ones identity. This is very similar to what happens when people go crazy, just with normal craziness one tends to identify fully with the mind, while here it’s with the spirit. The split that is created, is one of non-reality where one is not really in the world, rather one is floating on a pink and fluffy cloud of spirituality which is not based in reality. One feels awake, one feels enlightened as one knows they went through the previous steps, it all feels so real, but it’s not. This is a hard phase to get out of, because one doesn’t trust the viewpoints of others. One doesn’t believe others, because one feels special having awakened and tends to think they can see better clearer than anyone else. If someone tells you that you’re acting crazy or irrational you will tend to dismiss it.
Hopefully, luckily, the message gets through and you see the new split you’ve created, you let it go and then come crashing down from the pink fluffy cloud you were on back to earth and into the 2nd dark night of the soul. And you will cry harder than you’ve ever cried before, but is this crying has a purpose it is releasing a ton of held emotional energy, it is cleaning old beliefs and values, it is very healing. After that big release of energy you will feel very spiritual. It’s like coasting downhill, as your awareness is high and as long as you keep working at it, insights continue to come and slowly you whittle away more cognitive layers of your personality and as you do your awareness keeps rising.
2nd awakening – Being arises as vibration in muscles - emotional
This step can be a long period of time, indeed an entire lifetime, and it seems the hardest one for spiritual people to go beyond. Because of this there are not too many people around today who have done this step, as they were not successful to go beyond all the myriad tricks that ego creates to keep the pretending game going. There are many steps within this phase to slowly unravel the cognitive layers of personality, and to continuously identify new games the ego has created to reinvent oneself as another new self-image. There are several common conceptual games that are tested out, and usually they are so satisfying, that one rarely questions them and drops them. The most common denominator of all of them is to develop the new self image as being spiritual, it can greatly help to keep this new identity in place by joining with other like minded people. The same confirmation games then are played in groups of people, giving validation for each other’s spirituality. Conceptual games that are tried out are acting like an authority, giving advice, becoming a spiritual teacher or guru, developing a technique for self and others to follow, and others. These activities are generally quite satisfying and therefore don’t encourage the seeker to look deeper, question oneself and let go of more of one’s attachments. One tends to believe one is fully awakened and there is not anything more to do along these lines.
If one stays on the path and does one’s spiritual work daily and keeps up the self-questioning and desire to get to the truth, these games will be seen in due time and one will drop each one as they are discovered. But then it is normal, that one will adopt a new one after having dropped the last one, and so it can go on like this for many years. This process during this time is like having mini awakenings and dark nights as one receives new insights and then eventually crashes later when one sees that they still aren’t fully aware. With each mini cycle in this phase, ones awareness is steadily rising and one’s personality is being reduced in its influence, a metamorphosis is happening.
Eventually one’s awareness will be high enough to be able to discover the root cause, which is fueling this endless game of adopting new ideas and trying to make them into one’s self-image or way of being. Then one will see that what is driving all this behavior is our tendency to believe that what we tell ourselves is truth. We are primarily attached to our version of happenings or our story. We are attached to our story, because it gives us the feeling that we know. When one recognizes this and realizes one is fooling oneself by listening to this made up story, eventually one starts to drop one’s story, to willingly quiet one’s mind over and over.
After many repetitions of practicing like this, awareness grows much stronger and will rise up strongly again. One encounters oneself again, but this time differently, not through an understanding that one is not one’s mind, but as a VIBRATION or FEELING, you know yourself to be the energetic vibration. When you realize this, you’re old way of being as the story maker, provoking your environment to be able to react with strong emotion you see is what was fooling you. You thought this was what was meant to be alive, when you see through the ruse by encountering your true vibration self, then you no longer are interested in getting your kick this way. The part of you that wanted to be the pretending one has died. After that you will be elated again and many more insights will come, it is much like the first awakening, but this time more insight comes about one’s own true nature where previously it is more like you are given general knowledge and your vision.
You see the game and now know there is no way to trust anything the story teller is telling you, there is only one thing left to do, and it is to go into quiet mind every opportunity you get. You know if you only do this then you will continue to grow. There is nothing more to learn about how to grow spiritually, there is no more concept you need to try out, there is no new identity to adopt, you are done with seeking and with all games. There is nothing more for you to do except to meditate as much as possible.
3rd dark night – Pretending, emoting, the story teller, am I crazy?
After the 2nd awakening if one is doing meditation effectively, then one starts to make huge gains in awareness levels. Insights continue to pour in, and now one is strong enough to drop one’s attachment to the emotional layer at the root of the personality, the earliest level of learning that was laid down from infancy and childhood. This is a period of transition where one feels like they are between the two worlds of physicality and spirituality, belonging in neither. One doesn’t yet know how to be and know in a world that doesn’t use the mind, there is no place of known comfort to rest. Like Jesus said, there is no place to lay your head. At this point you know you are not fully aware and you have lost all sense of knowing. You don’t yet have reliable access to intuition and you don’t trust your own story and even less the story of others. It is a period of becoming independent from all authorities, you must get your answers directly from source, and there is no way to get an answer by thinking it out… It also happens during this phase that very strong emotions are provoked from nearly any outside event. This is part of the healing process you are now within after the 2nd awakening event. Your emotions start to rage, and you start to feel very crazy. You start to seriously question your sanity and wonder if you have made any progress at all when you observe how crazy and emotional you are becoming. You start to think you are repeating and haven’t learned anything. That is a hard pill to swallow when you’ve been working so hard for so many years and think you are progressing. Once again you feel like you’ve lost everything and you enter the dark void. Another big cleansing is happening with lots of crying, much stronger than the prior one. The dark gets very dark, but also the light grows by leaps and bounds. When you see the deep emotional imprint clear, you understand why you’ve been acting the way you have for all of your life. After clearing this out, there is a huge freedom and independence from any person, place or thing.
3rd awakening – Being arises as springy light-energy in nervous system
After the emotional cleansing there is a huge gain in one’s energy and one’s meditation gets deeper very quickly and soon healing reactions start to happen sporadically in the body. These are pre-kundalini awakening symptoms. The only thing one wants to do with one’s free time is to meditate, to speed up the transformation process. During this phase ones energetic vibration is growing by leaps and bounds and one becomes very sensitive to energy inside and outside of oneself. It doesn’t take too long before one starts to feel springy and light inside one’s body, and being arises the 3rd time, but this time one feels it all over one’s body and each day it gets stronger. Eventually the full blown kundalini process is triggered, and one enters into the 4th dark night of the soul, which is a long transformation process, building the new brain and body.
4th dark night – dropping all identification, the physical death & transformation
When there is enough energy withdrawn from the old structure of personality, a latent DNA growing instruction is triggered to start the growth of the new body. This trigger point is what I call full blown kundalini awakening.
After a few months of preparatory nervous system changes to the body, then eventually the changes move up through the chest and into the neck to make changes into the physical structure of the skull and brain. The fourth dark night at its most intense is experienced as a physical death. To be reborn in the flesh, you truly will have to die in the flesh. When dying you gasp as you take your last breath of air and make gurgling and choking sounds as the air is compressed out of you, as energy moves up the chest into deep tissues of body. You will stop breathing when this happens, now the challenge is to allow this death and go to center as the observer, knowing you are dying and allowing it. All physical changes are made this way. You can only get through the 4th dark night with a total physical surrender. But don’t worry when you reach this step you are strong enough to do it, all you have done before has prepared you for this step. In this step you are present as the observer, and of course you live through it… After you have passed through the physical death, then you are at the end of being ‘this personality’. You will never go back to having that personality in any future life, you are now well on your way to growing the new structure which will serve you for the next part of your journey. There is no going back, and no reason to do so.
4th awakening – Full awareness in new light body
It takes some time for the new body to grow, but when it is done the full transformation will be complete. The end of the 4th dark night and the 4th awakening will happen in the same moment, in the blink of an eye, as they are in truth happening together each day as the old is giving way to create the new. When complete, then you will physically be alive in a light body.
Betsy
December 6, 2023
What is the Dark Night of the Soul?
Dark night of the soul is a metaphor used in spiritual circles. The term describes a phase in one’s spiritual process, often marked by a sense of loneliness, desolation, and feeling of wanting to die and sometimes with the feeling of going crazy. It is common phenomena experienced on one’s soul journey of becoming spiritual, or of going from bodily identification to union with one’s higher self. What I define as dark night of the soul is like the story of Job in the bible where he feels that everything he loved has been taken away from him, his wife, his children, his farm and his way to make a living. You feel as if all is taken away from you and you cry for days on end, and you can feel like you no longer want to live anymore without what ‘was lost’, you feel you can’t go on and you might come near to the edge and think about ending your life.
I think a better name for this phenomenon would be dark night of the ego. This is because the soul or spirit represents the deepest energetic layer of true self, and the cause of this symptom has nothing to do with the soul. Rather the cause of this symptom is due to one’s attachment to an energetic layer of ego. Ego as used in this article is a synonym for ‘me’, my personality, bodily representation of self, how one views oneself or self-image. Ego is held together through identification with physical manifest aspects of self (that which we can observe or see), which exist at different vibration or energetic levels. As we move through each level of transformation of self, we encounter the next vibration level.
Having gone through a long process of transformation with hindsight I realized there was more than one dark night. The second time it happened, I noticed that all the issues that came up the first time were coming up again; nearly identical to the first time which I thought I had gone beyond. I felt like I was repeating, that I had been walking in circles for years and felt like a failure. When it happened the third time, then I knew for sure I was progressing, and could see that each dark night corresponded to a different set of issues, representing a different layer of identification with the personality.
On our journey of awakening there are four dark nights of the soul and three awakenings that happen between them, where each happens as one passes through the stage of dropping identification with one of the energetic layers of ego. There is then the 4th stage of awakening at the end of the process which can be seen as full enlightenment. The ego is held together from the three main ways that we attach to and identify with manifested energetic aspects of self. The three layers that make up the ego and to which we identify with are mind, emotions and body, where spirit is the base of all of them.
The journey to become our true self in body is like a healing of the personality, which happens in reverse order of how these layers were laid down in the building up of our personality. The first layer is cognitive (mental imprinting) which we learn approximately from the ages of 3 to 26 years, to the end of physical growing of the body and mind. The second layer is precognitive (emotional or fetal imprinting) which we learn approximately from the ages of conception to 3 years, before we have highly developed cognitive mind, and exist at a deep unconscious level. The last layer is the physical body at the DNA level, which we amassed over many lifetimes and also has ancestral imprinting influences due to our inherited genes from our mother and father.
Why are there 4 stages of physical transformation?The reason why there are 4 stages of personal transformation is based on the fundamentals of how something is created. The journey of personal transformation is all about transmuting one’s personality into full awareness, it is all about recreating yourself as a new entity, thus it goes through the same steps of creation. We know how to create something as a human being in the world of objects:
1. We observe an object in the physical world using our sensory apparatus.
2. We process internally thinking about what we have seen and ask questions about it. We then decide what we want to do with it, of which answer to our question can come either from inspiration or from thinking itself, depending upon our ability. Having made the decision this forms our intention and direction for the use of our energy with action.
3. Once we have decided what to do, we need one more step and that is to use our will to actually do it. With our idea and will to do it, intention gets set and energy follows our focus. Energy charges move from the brain to the appropriate body muscles, allowing us to move our energy from thought to feeling to action or doing in the external world.
4. We move and do the action and the desired thing is created in the physical world.
Being an individual, as personality in a body, one might say one is created as that when one is born. To transform ourselves as we are in a body, we have to recreate that body by ourselves using the same principles of how we create some other object. This time the object we focus on is ourselves.
Pattern of transformation: Awakening and dark night cycles
Each layer of personal transformation goes through distinct phases. First there is identification or attachment with that layer of self. Due to this attachment misery and dissatisfaction eventually becomes the norm and because of this pain one becomes ready to give up another layer of attachment. At this point, you are on the verge of letting go of identification with the ego layer you are hanging onto. How many of the four cycles you will experience in your lifetime is not certain, it depends upon your starting point, from all you have learned so far and your current state of evolution. One can spend an entire lifetime in any one or these cycles.
Awakening
In the instant one truly is able to stop clinging, spiritual awakening or rising of being happens, and a huge amount of energy you were previously holding in ‘tension’ as that energetic form is released. A transformation process ensues which is being fueled by this huge amount of energy, which is the biological aspect of awakening accompanied with profound healing and spiritual reactions. One feels elated and joyous for many days following the spiritual awakening. It is typical you encounter your true self as a spiritual being and you feel fully awake. You normally experience many charismatic symptoms such as tones, flashing lights, rushes of internal wind, numbness, tingling, going out of body, insights, crystal clarity, visions, repressed memories, telepathy, hyper-hearing, enhanced vision, loss in weight, elation, laughing, etc. The majority of these symptoms are a side-effect due to a biological transformation process going on in your body which is changing your nervous system including your mind.
The awakening energy settles down
After the big high and thrill of spiritual awakening, the released energy will continue to work strongly in the brain and body, going into deeper layers which will go on for many months. As this happens ego tends to activate strongly as old memories and emotions are stirred up from the depths. As the healing process intensifies you start to feel heavy and tired, you feel pains in the body, strong emotions are common, weird thoughts, old memories, dreams and memories of past lives start to flood in to your awareness. Because of this side-effect, one tends to identify strongly with the ego side of self again. It is common that many new and false ideas and beliefs are adopted during this stage, as ways to explain what is happening and what one is receiving. One tends to interpret many of the insights one receives, inventing a story and reason for them and thus tends to go into a kind of head trip. Because you are stronger energetically, a larger amount of energy is now getting diverted into making an ego much stronger than before. It is largely due to these phenomena, that one can get deeply enmeshed in the dark night of the soul.
Eventually, the big energy that was released appears to settle and one starts to feel like normal again. But one is not the same; one now knows oneself as essentially spiritual and through the process many revelations and insights have increased one’s knowledge which one will never forget. With this deepening of the healing and a feeling of return to normalcy, there is a growing sense that what was gained is now lost. It is typical that your entire value system changes after an awakening event, due to new information you receive. You reprocess everything known with the new information, and arrive at a new set of values, you see everything differently. Because of this one tends to let go of identification with all objects that were associated with the level you are going through. It is normal that one loses interest in old friends, family values, geographical location, money, possessions, beliefs, religious attachments, habits and career interest, to name the most common.
The Dark Night begins
As one comes back down to earth, one starts to feel normal again, and the elation of the spiritual high seems to be gone. Then it seems like one gave up so much and now has nothing left, that one starts to feel very alone and desolate. You start to wonder if you have a reason left to live. It is normal that a depression develops and one’s thinking and feelings started to become dominate. One’s thinking tends to get heavy and dark, and crying can often be non-stop for days on end. Prior to this event you had strong attachment to ego and could get some strong reactions out of it, but after this event you have more energy thus can get even stronger ego reactions than you could before. If you allow the old habit to be identified with thinking and feelings (chattering and emoting) to go on unabated, then the ego will get stronger and stronger. It seems when we feel we’ve lost something then we cling even stronger to what is known and familiar to us. Thus we start clinging to our mind and emotions again, and in a sense we start to get crazy, extremely sad, dark, we are getting lost in the mind and emotions again. At this moment we are firmly entrenched in the dark night of the soul. Even though this stage feels dark it is actually still part of the metamorphosis. Your level of energy vibration in the body and your awareness level remain higher than before your awakening, it is just working at deeper layers of blockages and elements of your personality. The dark night of the soul phenomena is actually a cleansing process, during it a huge amount of energy held in tension in the body, mind and emotions is released. Crying is often the form that this huge energy is released from personality. Crying frees tension from the mind and the heart. You will notice when you cry hard, your heart and your head hurts. Know that when it gets the darkest, the light is very near, just hang in there.
How to get through the Dark Night of the Soul
What has happened in the awakening event is your body and mind, and your entire nervous system has been changed due to that explosion of energy. How you process information and respond and react to happenings in daily life is now different due to those changes. However what hasn’t happened yet is you do not know how to use the new tools that you have been given and that are growing capacities in you. You are still used to the old habit of attaching to the object you are now in the process of letting go of. At this moment the amount of energy you have at your disposal is much greater than before the awakening, but you do not know how to direct this energy yet.
The way to get through this most efficiently and with least amount of pain is to seek center as much as you can, no matter which phase you are experiencing. The reason this is so, is to know that changes are being done to the brain itself, and thus thinking and feelings are very unreliable during this phase. The best thing to do is not to cling to the edges – meaning the symptoms happening (that which is visible and formed), which includes mind, emotions and body. One must seek center over and over to the space that provoked this event and that which is the source of everything. Being as one with your center, in your place of stillness, is like riding out the hurricane force that is happening now in your body and mind, by staying safely in the calm center which is like the eye of the hurricane.
There are many meditation tools that can help one go to center or achieve ‘quiet mind’ state so as to ride out this storm. Which tools works for you are partly personal preference, part experimentation and part what has worked for you in the past. Indeed before the awakening happened you were able to achieve quiet mind state and be fully in center, because that is how a surge in energy happens and what precedes an awakening event. Try to do that again. To repeat, the most I can say about it is to know you can’t trust your thinking and feelings at this point in time and to do everything you can to tune them out and get quiet. The more you practice with meditation tools, the better you will get at going to center, and the easier it will be to ride out this storm. On another note, each dark night you pass through will require a deeper level of getting quiet.
The 4 Dark Nights & 4 Awakenings
1st Dark Night – I think therefore I am
The first dark night can last a long time. It is the reality of the majority of humanity that has not yet awaked to one’s true self. In this stage, one is primarily identified with objects, where thought is the main object. Everything ones does and receives in life is filtered through thinking. One lives one’s life totally in one’s mind. While in the waking state, there is a non-stop chatter, or constant inner dialogue that is happening all day long. This often carries into one’s night where difficulty to sleep is an indication that one has little ability to turn off the mind. The personality is nearly always fully energized night and day. One is still in the process of building up the ego, and fully identified with one’s ability to think and self-reflect. In this state, there is no capability to be able to objectively observe the internal chatter. Because thinking is invisible to us, we and the thinker are one. I think therefore I am. While in this mindset, everything one does has the underlying purpose to gain validation and properties to build up one’s self-image in one’s own and others eyes. How one sees oneself and how one perceives that others see oneself is of primary importance. Everything is done to grow one’s personality to larger proportions, to amass more attributes. Attributes are widely varied as much as individuals vary, so even being seen as a bad egg, can be valuable to some and they will cultivate this property to the maximum. The negative side of this state is that nearly all actions coming out of it are harmful to self or others, because the main motivation is to gain for oneself, and this can only be done is somebody else loses. It’s the dog eat dog world we know today, full of violence, destruction, stealing, killing, fighting and sickness. One can actually be happy for quite some time in this state, as long as one is gaining properties and getting a sense of satisfaction from it. The dark night starts when the game no longer satisfies and problems of all kinds start.
1st Awakening –Being arises as mind
Eventually after enough possessions have been amassed to build up one’s self-image, one comes to realize that our activities in life are not resulting in a profound feeling of happiness and well being. We start to admit the reality that we are miserable inside and that getting things is not making us happy. This is a big turning point, where we withdraw our attention from our busy activities in the outside world to the inside world and start to look for answers from other sources. The old game of getting more has worn out, and we seek for something else. This stage is also known as the seeking stage. We start to investigate spirituality, read self help books, seek for a closer connection with God, or do things like therapy or spiritual exercise to get to the bottom of the problem. Innately we want to be happy and what we have determined is getting things doesn’t make us happy, so we are ready to try something else. This stage can take a long time, and there are many intermediate steps within it. It’s a lot like unraveling the layers of mind that make up the personality. It’s a time of self-questioning, observing oneself and gaining self-knowledge.
Awakening happens by itself when we fully stop the internal chatter, which can happen in many different ways. We can suddenly go quiet after an accident or great trauma, after a sudden insight, after seeing something beautiful or awe inspiring, or while sitting in one’s mediation. What is significant is for a moment we got quiet in mind, long enough to release held energy being imprisoned by our non-stop internal chatter. During that space of total quiet, our true self arises into our mind and we see our true nature and know we are not the thinker. We know we see we are the source behind the thinking, we have seen beyond the veil, beyond that which was blinding us. It is the first glimpse of our energetic self and we realize we are god-like creatures, we have awakened to our true nature.
2nd Dark Night – I am Spiritual & The Head Trip The first time one has seen one’s true nature and is awakened, a flood of insights comes into one’s awareness as well a vision of one’s life purpose. It’s like receiving all the wisdom you need to go on, and giving you information of why you are here and what are your special gifts. As being first arises into the mind, all this information comes and one will also feel like they are like a super computer, the thinking goes so fast. The problem with information given at this point of time is that you tend to add your own level of interpretation to it, to be able to understand it. It’s like receiving pure information, but you are still the story teller, so you add your own words to connect the pieces of pure information together. This old habit of interpreting what we receive creates a lot of weird and wacky stories of why we are here and what is our life mission. We tend to go into a head trip after the first awakening, and many people never get out of it. The mental wards are full of people who have spiritually awakened and got stuck in the head trip, which is another appropriate name for this dark night. We come out of it thinking we are God’s chosen one, or we are Jesus reincarnated, or some other famous person. Now we want to save the world and while our intention is good, it is misguided, as we don’t know any better. We tend to get carried away with our new found meaning and purpose in life. It becomes our new identification.
As we drop identification with one object, it is still our nature to grab the next one, the newest one, and so we do. This can be another long dark night, but not as long as the previous one, each dark night gets shorter over time. After awakening one identifies now with one’s spiritual aspect and tends to totally ignore one’s mind and emotions, which results in creating a split in ones identity. This is very similar to what happens when people go crazy, just with normal craziness one tends to identify fully with the mind, while here it’s with the spirit. The split that is created, is one of non-reality where one is not really in the world, rather one is floating on a pink and fluffy cloud of spirituality which is not based in reality. One feels awake, one feels enlightened as one knows they went through the previous steps, it all feels so real, but it’s not. This is a hard phase to get out of, because one doesn’t trust the viewpoints of others. One doesn’t believe others, because one feels special having awakened and tends to think they can see better clearer than anyone else. If someone tells you that you’re acting crazy or irrational you will tend to dismiss it.
Hopefully, luckily, the message gets through and you see the new split you’ve created, you let it go and then come crashing down from the pink fluffy cloud you were on back to earth and into the 2nd dark night of the soul. And you will cry harder than you’ve ever cried before, but is this crying has a purpose it is releasing a ton of held emotional energy, it is cleaning old beliefs and values, it is very healing. After that big release of energy you will feel very spiritual. It’s like coasting downhill, as your awareness is high and as long as you keep working at it, insights continue to come and slowly you whittle away more cognitive layers of your personality and as you do your awareness keeps rising.
2nd awakening – Being arises as vibration in muscles - emotional
This step can be a long period of time, indeed an entire lifetime, and it seems the hardest one for spiritual people to go beyond. Because of this there are not too many people around today who have done this step, as they were not successful to go beyond all the myriad tricks that ego creates to keep the pretending game going. There are many steps within this phase to slowly unravel the cognitive layers of personality, and to continuously identify new games the ego has created to reinvent oneself as another new self-image. There are several common conceptual games that are tested out, and usually they are so satisfying, that one rarely questions them and drops them. The most common denominator of all of them is to develop the new self image as being spiritual, it can greatly help to keep this new identity in place by joining with other like minded people. The same confirmation games then are played in groups of people, giving validation for each other’s spirituality. Conceptual games that are tried out are acting like an authority, giving advice, becoming a spiritual teacher or guru, developing a technique for self and others to follow, and others. These activities are generally quite satisfying and therefore don’t encourage the seeker to look deeper, question oneself and let go of more of one’s attachments. One tends to believe one is fully awakened and there is not anything more to do along these lines.
If one stays on the path and does one’s spiritual work daily and keeps up the self-questioning and desire to get to the truth, these games will be seen in due time and one will drop each one as they are discovered. But then it is normal, that one will adopt a new one after having dropped the last one, and so it can go on like this for many years. This process during this time is like having mini awakenings and dark nights as one receives new insights and then eventually crashes later when one sees that they still aren’t fully aware. With each mini cycle in this phase, ones awareness is steadily rising and one’s personality is being reduced in its influence, a metamorphosis is happening.
Eventually one’s awareness will be high enough to be able to discover the root cause, which is fueling this endless game of adopting new ideas and trying to make them into one’s self-image or way of being. Then one will see that what is driving all this behavior is our tendency to believe that what we tell ourselves is truth. We are primarily attached to our version of happenings or our story. We are attached to our story, because it gives us the feeling that we know. When one recognizes this and realizes one is fooling oneself by listening to this made up story, eventually one starts to drop one’s story, to willingly quiet one’s mind over and over.
After many repetitions of practicing like this, awareness grows much stronger and will rise up strongly again. One encounters oneself again, but this time differently, not through an understanding that one is not one’s mind, but as a VIBRATION or FEELING, you know yourself to be the energetic vibration. When you realize this, you’re old way of being as the story maker, provoking your environment to be able to react with strong emotion you see is what was fooling you. You thought this was what was meant to be alive, when you see through the ruse by encountering your true vibration self, then you no longer are interested in getting your kick this way. The part of you that wanted to be the pretending one has died. After that you will be elated again and many more insights will come, it is much like the first awakening, but this time more insight comes about one’s own true nature where previously it is more like you are given general knowledge and your vision.
You see the game and now know there is no way to trust anything the story teller is telling you, there is only one thing left to do, and it is to go into quiet mind every opportunity you get. You know if you only do this then you will continue to grow. There is nothing more to learn about how to grow spiritually, there is no more concept you need to try out, there is no new identity to adopt, you are done with seeking and with all games. There is nothing more for you to do except to meditate as much as possible.
3rd dark night – Pretending, emoting, the story teller, am I crazy?
After the 2nd awakening if one is doing meditation effectively, then one starts to make huge gains in awareness levels. Insights continue to pour in, and now one is strong enough to drop one’s attachment to the emotional layer at the root of the personality, the earliest level of learning that was laid down from infancy and childhood. This is a period of transition where one feels like they are between the two worlds of physicality and spirituality, belonging in neither. One doesn’t yet know how to be and know in a world that doesn’t use the mind, there is no place of known comfort to rest. Like Jesus said, there is no place to lay your head. At this point you know you are not fully aware and you have lost all sense of knowing. You don’t yet have reliable access to intuition and you don’t trust your own story and even less the story of others. It is a period of becoming independent from all authorities, you must get your answers directly from source, and there is no way to get an answer by thinking it out… It also happens during this phase that very strong emotions are provoked from nearly any outside event. This is part of the healing process you are now within after the 2nd awakening event. Your emotions start to rage, and you start to feel very crazy. You start to seriously question your sanity and wonder if you have made any progress at all when you observe how crazy and emotional you are becoming. You start to think you are repeating and haven’t learned anything. That is a hard pill to swallow when you’ve been working so hard for so many years and think you are progressing. Once again you feel like you’ve lost everything and you enter the dark void. Another big cleansing is happening with lots of crying, much stronger than the prior one. The dark gets very dark, but also the light grows by leaps and bounds. When you see the deep emotional imprint clear, you understand why you’ve been acting the way you have for all of your life. After clearing this out, there is a huge freedom and independence from any person, place or thing.
3rd awakening – Being arises as springy light-energy in nervous system
After the emotional cleansing there is a huge gain in one’s energy and one’s meditation gets deeper very quickly and soon healing reactions start to happen sporadically in the body. These are pre-kundalini awakening symptoms. The only thing one wants to do with one’s free time is to meditate, to speed up the transformation process. During this phase ones energetic vibration is growing by leaps and bounds and one becomes very sensitive to energy inside and outside of oneself. It doesn’t take too long before one starts to feel springy and light inside one’s body, and being arises the 3rd time, but this time one feels it all over one’s body and each day it gets stronger. Eventually the full blown kundalini process is triggered, and one enters into the 4th dark night of the soul, which is a long transformation process, building the new brain and body.
4th dark night – dropping all identification, the physical death & transformation
When there is enough energy withdrawn from the old structure of personality, a latent DNA growing instruction is triggered to start the growth of the new body. This trigger point is what I call full blown kundalini awakening.
After a few months of preparatory nervous system changes to the body, then eventually the changes move up through the chest and into the neck to make changes into the physical structure of the skull and brain. The fourth dark night at its most intense is experienced as a physical death. To be reborn in the flesh, you truly will have to die in the flesh. When dying you gasp as you take your last breath of air and make gurgling and choking sounds as the air is compressed out of you, as energy moves up the chest into deep tissues of body. You will stop breathing when this happens, now the challenge is to allow this death and go to center as the observer, knowing you are dying and allowing it. All physical changes are made this way. You can only get through the 4th dark night with a total physical surrender. But don’t worry when you reach this step you are strong enough to do it, all you have done before has prepared you for this step. In this step you are present as the observer, and of course you live through it… After you have passed through the physical death, then you are at the end of being ‘this personality’. You will never go back to having that personality in any future life, you are now well on your way to growing the new structure which will serve you for the next part of your journey. There is no going back, and no reason to do so.
4th awakening – Full awareness in new light body
It takes some time for the new body to grow, but when it is done the full transformation will be complete. The end of the 4th dark night and the 4th awakening will happen in the same moment, in the blink of an eye, as they are in truth happening together each day as the old is giving way to create the new. When complete, then you will physically be alive in a light body.
Betsy
December 6, 2023
10/03/10: Can you watch your own thinking or not?
Category: Self Awareness & Transformation
Posted by: ysteban
Can you watch your own thinking or not?
Anonymous: It's a good article (All is vibration), but I have one question, because I'm getting my head around it, and your article came by "coincidence" into my view. You said: "One can t really watch one’s thinking, because when one is thinking then one’s awareness is totally withdrawn and one has become the thinker". Why do you say that? I mean, it's ok, logical, but if I can observe my body while it happens, and my emotions while they happen, why not thoughts too? I said to myself it's because I'm not focused enough that I cannot see the thought happening before my eyes while it happens. But I'm open to see your version if you have more to say about it.
Betsy: Good question! Awareness is the source, being the source it has no properties. When one is fully alert there is no thinking. This is pure observation. Focal points in meditation are most effective when they don't need your help 'to think about it', simply gazing at an object or feeling one's breathing happening by itself are good focal points. Even so, people will meditate, 'observing' their breath, and they say to themselves, I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out, watch my breath, focus back, etc., they chatter the whole time, if they even can remember to do that much. Thought is such a high frequency that it's hard to detect you are even doing this chatter all the time. I spend years doing meditation thinking I was quiet, then finally was able to see I was not as quiet as I thought. A few months after this observation was when I was able to keenly see thinking start up and try different focal points until I 'fell asleep' totally, into silent oblivion. One observes oneself falling asleep as the ego shuts up entirely, which is scary the first times it happens like that. When one reaches this happening, then it keeps repeating and it becomes normal that the whole hour meditation passes in what seems to be only a few minutes. Then you know what is full awareness. Later you observe clearly the difference between activated ego and activated awareness during waking hours and know they are mutually exclusive states, it's one or the other.
Once the thinking starts, then no longer fully alert, attention is drawn within to self-reflection mode (that's why you can get blind if you get sucked into this too much), that is what is manifest in that moment -- another word for it 'activated personality'. If there is also a strong emotional charge, then it’s strongly activated personality. It’s like turning around in a dream world then, like emoting. One can't observe when like that because one is totally sucked into another world, the source is buried because it's the energy being used to create this phenomena.
In either case, the truth is: IT”S ALL YOU…
Thought is symptom of 'internal chatter', one is talking to oneself, mulling something over, asking questions, or engaging in a story of one's own making (totally lost). When one is just feeling what's happening such as vibration in body, then this doesn't need thinking. Mostly when you observe your emotions or thinking happening, this observation is taking place 'past tense', not in real time. You are in reflection mode, retrieving memories, using logic, etc, and this is mostly done by recalling what just happened. Then also you observe, you are thinking heavily and ego is activated, and alert awareness is no more. One could easily walk up quietly upon you and go 'boo' and you would jump, because your attention was withdrawn into mind. While fully aware you feel and see things instantaneously and direct, it's never past tense.
Logic can never figure this out, because using logic is 'past tense' state, there is no 'new source' (inspiration) element in logic. You churn around what you think you already know internally. Logic is best used to form a question, which is what you did by writing. Anyway, I can't convince you of anything with my words nor do I want to. This is one you have to see for yourself to know it's true.
Anonymous: Thank you for explanation and details. I understand everything you say, from my own experience. Everything you said fits with what I saw. There are maybe some differences about the practice. I'm giving as much as I can to improve, but I don't know how much relatively to you. I guess it doesn't matter. The essential things are the same => if there are errors in my perception of what you say, they are quite little.
Betsy: Truth is recognized
Anonymous: It's good to see other people trying to do what you try to do. It's like you meet "your kind".
Betsy: I hear you, few and far between
Anonymous: My little annoying thing is the word "total"... total involvement in mind/ego/'past tense' etc... either or.. either full awareness or involvement... Because I believe it's possible to see and create in the same time. To not be involved totally with your results, but being more involved with observing you while creating , and then see the results with peripheral vision, if I could say it like this.
Betsy: There is never a need to chatter when fully aware, it’s just pure silence observing, you are doing, you are being, you are intensely alive. You don’t need to ‘talk internally’ to SEE what you’re doing. One must have taken the step to have seen for oneself -> directly that SEEING is never happening while mind is active, in fact it creates a blindness to SEE, one’s attention is turned into one’s internal world of mind. This is an advanced step, and even I thought I had done it because it’s easy to intellectually understand, before I had actually done it / seen it direct. Few today have completed this step. Sometimes a poem can help, I wrote this poem which addresses this step.
http://phoenixtools.org/poetry/tanka_lostininsideworld.htm
To understand this further, take for instance a race car driver, going at super fast speed with other cars around, they are not thinking at all, they are pure focus, if they lose pure focus for a moment, such as getting distracted thinking, they crash, it is life threatening. The same for a rock climber - while in scaling / climbing mode - they are not thinking things over, it’s pure being in the moment, and doing, and reacting to what they are sensing. This is the attraction of these sports, to feel oneself as intense aliveness, so they do it to get that rush feeling. They don’t know ‘intense aliveness’ can be achieved in other ways no matter the setting --- simply by being ‘quiet’. So they get addicted to their sport.
Anonymous: Everything you say (it's really nice that you talk from your own experience mostly) it's true from my point of view.
Betsy: You can easily state this, that it’s true from your point of view, but it is exactly your point of view and my point of view that prevents us from connecting ‘at source. I don’t know what you are really receiving as your point of view, until you say more and I can zoom in on what it is. As far as I know I talk from my own experience wholly, at least what I’ve expressed to you so far.
Anonymous: I just asked because I'm not sure if it's possible to stay aware and create, but remain aware, and not go too far into results, to avoid identification with results. I really believe it's true and possible to remain detached, just that it's a mastery few humans achieve. Maybe because of laziness and weaknesses, because from my point of view everyone can do it, if one chooses to.
Betsy: Because of laziness, weakness and addiction to the old habit. I agree, everyone can choose to do it, and the more you practice, the better you get at it. Now I go into ‘my current theory’. I believe the current structure of brain is built for self-reflection, re: ego mind, and it is a preliminary structure to get us to recognize our true nature. This means it’s a beneficial structure, intended for that purpose. After having recognized one’s true self, then energy explodes, one wakes up, all kinds of charismas happen, then this is the start of the building of a new brain, basically eliminating all the parts that make ‘self-reflection’ or internal chatter possible. This structure in brain is no longer needed, so latent DNA switches get turned on, to make a new structure in brain / wiring and remove the old. This moves towards creating a new human where instantaneous adaptation and reaction to environment, such as is achieved by the race car driver with intense focus, is normal operation. One never forgets what one saw – the real self… At exactly this moment, the old personality structure starts to break down and the new awareness body starts to unfold, the insitu-metamorphosis in body is happening. The new is being built from the old. This goes on at a rate that is dependent upon how much one works with it. If one stops working with it, it basically stalls. Now it happens, that this process of ‘growing a new brain’, happens most efficiently when one practices ‘not using the brain’, re: one is aware or in quiet mind meditative state. The brain can only be reorganized when it’s not being used! It is my key phrase: ‘Healing happens when you sleep’, the subject & title of the book I am writing. On my part, I have to still focus and work at it but it’s much easier than in the past.
Anonymous: If what I believe is possible, then we can easily see the starting and happening of thoughts real time, and influence their flux, sustain them or not. In a word, being the master over mind.
Betsy: I don’t have any big disagreement with this, it’s basically correct as I understand it. It’s just the ‘real time’ aspect, I don’t think it’s real time, it’s rather we realize it past tense, but there can be just a second in between. With higher levels of awareness you can more keenly observe yourself and see how you are using your energy and shift focus when you want, thinking or not. And I agree that’s mastery over mind. But this leaves the question, not all people are equally aware, so why with higher level awareness can one more readily see what is happening with energy use?
Then it might be you have a belief, and you want confirmation for it, pure awareness has no such need for confirming such a theory. You remind me of myself years ago, you are very intelligent, like a philosopher, and love to ponder these things. No blame, it’s a good base, but also difficult to let go of ‘your precious intelligence’… A big bonus and a big block at same time… Problem is, you can go over and over and over this, and look at from all angles, but you will never get the answer this way. This answer will only come from quiet. So pose it, but just sit in mediation and wait for the answer to arrive, it doesn’t need you to figure it out… Talking back and forth here, even if someone were to know the truth ( might I know? You are not sure, right? Okay… ) will never resolve this for you. You don’t know whom might know, as you reach higher levels, you rarely meet someone who can answer your more difficult questions. You trust yourself more than others, that is good. Yet, there is nothing ‘new’ in that. Your thinking doesn’t know the answer, because you don’t know the answer, because it’s unknown to you. Now you reach the point, where you have to get the answer direct from source, set your intention: pose your question, sit in meditation, now tell yourself you don’t have to think about it to keep you intention/question ‘in focus’. Just trust you’ve established it by voicing it, then let go of all thinking. Keep doing this until you get your answer out of source from quiet intuition – it will leap into sight, and you will go AHA, I get it!
Anonymous: Buddha and enlightened humans can do it from my point of view. This is what I wanted to check. Because I could be wrong and believe non sense stuff.
Betsy: You can’t ‘grok’ the capabilities you don’t have. This becomes a silly argument…
Anonymous: And one thing more from my experience. There were many times when in meditation it was like... getting my head into the "waters of thoughts" and seeing colors, thoughts (audio), video, etc (mind stuff)... and then getting my head out of the "waters of thoughts", and see their buzz and noise, like electric current or something, pure movement and just movement inside my head. Then if I entered again in thoughts, in noises, in their movement, "the water", again stories appeared, sounds images, associations etc.
Betsy: Thoughts don’t happen by themselves, it’s you using energy to think, you are thinking. Any thing you see or observe triggers ‘thinking’. If you are aware enough, then you notice the reactive thinking has started, and you set it aside. What you describe here is keen observation, but still shifting in and out of focus. Observe thinking more closely, one thought triggers another, images flash from memory, it is just like dreaming, you weave together a story connecting all the dots. The buzz/noise/electric current happens as a side-effect of being in no-mind state, when mind goes totally quiet for a second, then the mind changes, it’s the kundalini transformation thing happening. I’ve observed 1000’s of hours of these kinds of symptoms. Even memories can be provoked as side-effect symptom of Kundalini transformation, as the pathways and memories in brain are being reorganized to be more efficient. It is why dreaming happens at night, after mind has went quiet, it’s a reorganization. And there you are observing it or getting involved in it, whatever. But you are not that.
Anonymous: Anyway, thank you, and if you have something to add, I'm waiting. And one more question:) I'm curious how you see this.
When I'm positive and energetic(high vibration) (especially when far away from sex and staying up too late in the night) I've seen it's quite effortless to see around me the creation of everything I need, even if I don't know what I need, the needs start to flower.
But when I'm low in vibration, negative emotions or even neutral state of mind, it's a struggle, and results come after some or big effort, if they come.
So this means that creation of our potential, manifestation of our choices, it's easier when high in vibration? So "being high" it's a requirement for effortless creation? And by effortless creation I mean flowing with the flow, and supervise attentively, when all around you is a field of something that protects you and grows your needs, flowers your seeds/potential.
Betsy: Being low one is in the state of living in the past, there is nothing ‘new’ in that, it’s a defensive mode, one of fighting to keep the old self alive, while ‘doing that’, no new energy or love can enter into the picture. You keep love at bay, you keep spirit squashed down, it’s a situation of eating oneself alive, or ‘dog-eat-dog’, what you see all around the world today. Everyone fighting to survive, to keep their ‘self-image’ intact, and arguing with everyone and everything to do it.
Being high, one has let go of all the past, only important is what is happening right now, there is no need to cling to anything. One is quiet, observing, and sees far and wide and things one would not have seen while low. Because when low one is blind, the bubble view, the dreamer mode, etc. When one is present one is one with all that is, there is no limit.
Okay, this is truth, but I can’t tell you I live the latter the best of my ability, I tend to still like to fight and struggle a bit, so regress at times. It’s a good reminder, that when it seems like one is struggling, or things are too hard, it’s a clear sign one is ‘activated too much as personality’, and to just breath deep and let it all go.
Betsy
October 3, 2024
Anonymous: It's a good article (All is vibration), but I have one question, because I'm getting my head around it, and your article came by "coincidence" into my view. You said: "One can t really watch one’s thinking, because when one is thinking then one’s awareness is totally withdrawn and one has become the thinker". Why do you say that? I mean, it's ok, logical, but if I can observe my body while it happens, and my emotions while they happen, why not thoughts too? I said to myself it's because I'm not focused enough that I cannot see the thought happening before my eyes while it happens. But I'm open to see your version if you have more to say about it.
Betsy: Good question! Awareness is the source, being the source it has no properties. When one is fully alert there is no thinking. This is pure observation. Focal points in meditation are most effective when they don't need your help 'to think about it', simply gazing at an object or feeling one's breathing happening by itself are good focal points. Even so, people will meditate, 'observing' their breath, and they say to themselves, I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out, watch my breath, focus back, etc., they chatter the whole time, if they even can remember to do that much. Thought is such a high frequency that it's hard to detect you are even doing this chatter all the time. I spend years doing meditation thinking I was quiet, then finally was able to see I was not as quiet as I thought. A few months after this observation was when I was able to keenly see thinking start up and try different focal points until I 'fell asleep' totally, into silent oblivion. One observes oneself falling asleep as the ego shuts up entirely, which is scary the first times it happens like that. When one reaches this happening, then it keeps repeating and it becomes normal that the whole hour meditation passes in what seems to be only a few minutes. Then you know what is full awareness. Later you observe clearly the difference between activated ego and activated awareness during waking hours and know they are mutually exclusive states, it's one or the other.
Once the thinking starts, then no longer fully alert, attention is drawn within to self-reflection mode (that's why you can get blind if you get sucked into this too much), that is what is manifest in that moment -- another word for it 'activated personality'. If there is also a strong emotional charge, then it’s strongly activated personality. It’s like turning around in a dream world then, like emoting. One can't observe when like that because one is totally sucked into another world, the source is buried because it's the energy being used to create this phenomena.
In either case, the truth is: IT”S ALL YOU…
Thought is symptom of 'internal chatter', one is talking to oneself, mulling something over, asking questions, or engaging in a story of one's own making (totally lost). When one is just feeling what's happening such as vibration in body, then this doesn't need thinking. Mostly when you observe your emotions or thinking happening, this observation is taking place 'past tense', not in real time. You are in reflection mode, retrieving memories, using logic, etc, and this is mostly done by recalling what just happened. Then also you observe, you are thinking heavily and ego is activated, and alert awareness is no more. One could easily walk up quietly upon you and go 'boo' and you would jump, because your attention was withdrawn into mind. While fully aware you feel and see things instantaneously and direct, it's never past tense.
Logic can never figure this out, because using logic is 'past tense' state, there is no 'new source' (inspiration) element in logic. You churn around what you think you already know internally. Logic is best used to form a question, which is what you did by writing. Anyway, I can't convince you of anything with my words nor do I want to. This is one you have to see for yourself to know it's true.
Anonymous: Thank you for explanation and details. I understand everything you say, from my own experience. Everything you said fits with what I saw. There are maybe some differences about the practice. I'm giving as much as I can to improve, but I don't know how much relatively to you. I guess it doesn't matter. The essential things are the same => if there are errors in my perception of what you say, they are quite little.
Betsy: Truth is recognized
Anonymous: It's good to see other people trying to do what you try to do. It's like you meet "your kind".
Betsy: I hear you, few and far between
Anonymous: My little annoying thing is the word "total"... total involvement in mind/ego/'past tense' etc... either or.. either full awareness or involvement... Because I believe it's possible to see and create in the same time. To not be involved totally with your results, but being more involved with observing you while creating , and then see the results with peripheral vision, if I could say it like this.
Betsy: There is never a need to chatter when fully aware, it’s just pure silence observing, you are doing, you are being, you are intensely alive. You don’t need to ‘talk internally’ to SEE what you’re doing. One must have taken the step to have seen for oneself -> directly that SEEING is never happening while mind is active, in fact it creates a blindness to SEE, one’s attention is turned into one’s internal world of mind. This is an advanced step, and even I thought I had done it because it’s easy to intellectually understand, before I had actually done it / seen it direct. Few today have completed this step. Sometimes a poem can help, I wrote this poem which addresses this step.
http://phoenixtools.org/poetry/tanka_lostininsideworld.htm
To understand this further, take for instance a race car driver, going at super fast speed with other cars around, they are not thinking at all, they are pure focus, if they lose pure focus for a moment, such as getting distracted thinking, they crash, it is life threatening. The same for a rock climber - while in scaling / climbing mode - they are not thinking things over, it’s pure being in the moment, and doing, and reacting to what they are sensing. This is the attraction of these sports, to feel oneself as intense aliveness, so they do it to get that rush feeling. They don’t know ‘intense aliveness’ can be achieved in other ways no matter the setting --- simply by being ‘quiet’. So they get addicted to their sport.
Anonymous: Everything you say (it's really nice that you talk from your own experience mostly) it's true from my point of view.
Betsy: You can easily state this, that it’s true from your point of view, but it is exactly your point of view and my point of view that prevents us from connecting ‘at source. I don’t know what you are really receiving as your point of view, until you say more and I can zoom in on what it is. As far as I know I talk from my own experience wholly, at least what I’ve expressed to you so far.
Anonymous: I just asked because I'm not sure if it's possible to stay aware and create, but remain aware, and not go too far into results, to avoid identification with results. I really believe it's true and possible to remain detached, just that it's a mastery few humans achieve. Maybe because of laziness and weaknesses, because from my point of view everyone can do it, if one chooses to.
Betsy: Because of laziness, weakness and addiction to the old habit. I agree, everyone can choose to do it, and the more you practice, the better you get at it. Now I go into ‘my current theory’. I believe the current structure of brain is built for self-reflection, re: ego mind, and it is a preliminary structure to get us to recognize our true nature. This means it’s a beneficial structure, intended for that purpose. After having recognized one’s true self, then energy explodes, one wakes up, all kinds of charismas happen, then this is the start of the building of a new brain, basically eliminating all the parts that make ‘self-reflection’ or internal chatter possible. This structure in brain is no longer needed, so latent DNA switches get turned on, to make a new structure in brain / wiring and remove the old. This moves towards creating a new human where instantaneous adaptation and reaction to environment, such as is achieved by the race car driver with intense focus, is normal operation. One never forgets what one saw – the real self… At exactly this moment, the old personality structure starts to break down and the new awareness body starts to unfold, the insitu-metamorphosis in body is happening. The new is being built from the old. This goes on at a rate that is dependent upon how much one works with it. If one stops working with it, it basically stalls. Now it happens, that this process of ‘growing a new brain’, happens most efficiently when one practices ‘not using the brain’, re: one is aware or in quiet mind meditative state. The brain can only be reorganized when it’s not being used! It is my key phrase: ‘Healing happens when you sleep’, the subject & title of the book I am writing. On my part, I have to still focus and work at it but it’s much easier than in the past.
Anonymous: If what I believe is possible, then we can easily see the starting and happening of thoughts real time, and influence their flux, sustain them or not. In a word, being the master over mind.
Betsy: I don’t have any big disagreement with this, it’s basically correct as I understand it. It’s just the ‘real time’ aspect, I don’t think it’s real time, it’s rather we realize it past tense, but there can be just a second in between. With higher levels of awareness you can more keenly observe yourself and see how you are using your energy and shift focus when you want, thinking or not. And I agree that’s mastery over mind. But this leaves the question, not all people are equally aware, so why with higher level awareness can one more readily see what is happening with energy use?
Then it might be you have a belief, and you want confirmation for it, pure awareness has no such need for confirming such a theory. You remind me of myself years ago, you are very intelligent, like a philosopher, and love to ponder these things. No blame, it’s a good base, but also difficult to let go of ‘your precious intelligence’… A big bonus and a big block at same time… Problem is, you can go over and over and over this, and look at from all angles, but you will never get the answer this way. This answer will only come from quiet. So pose it, but just sit in mediation and wait for the answer to arrive, it doesn’t need you to figure it out… Talking back and forth here, even if someone were to know the truth ( might I know? You are not sure, right? Okay… ) will never resolve this for you. You don’t know whom might know, as you reach higher levels, you rarely meet someone who can answer your more difficult questions. You trust yourself more than others, that is good. Yet, there is nothing ‘new’ in that. Your thinking doesn’t know the answer, because you don’t know the answer, because it’s unknown to you. Now you reach the point, where you have to get the answer direct from source, set your intention: pose your question, sit in meditation, now tell yourself you don’t have to think about it to keep you intention/question ‘in focus’. Just trust you’ve established it by voicing it, then let go of all thinking. Keep doing this until you get your answer out of source from quiet intuition – it will leap into sight, and you will go AHA, I get it!
Anonymous: Buddha and enlightened humans can do it from my point of view. This is what I wanted to check. Because I could be wrong and believe non sense stuff.
Betsy: You can’t ‘grok’ the capabilities you don’t have. This becomes a silly argument…
Anonymous: And one thing more from my experience. There were many times when in meditation it was like... getting my head into the "waters of thoughts" and seeing colors, thoughts (audio), video, etc (mind stuff)... and then getting my head out of the "waters of thoughts", and see their buzz and noise, like electric current or something, pure movement and just movement inside my head. Then if I entered again in thoughts, in noises, in their movement, "the water", again stories appeared, sounds images, associations etc.
Betsy: Thoughts don’t happen by themselves, it’s you using energy to think, you are thinking. Any thing you see or observe triggers ‘thinking’. If you are aware enough, then you notice the reactive thinking has started, and you set it aside. What you describe here is keen observation, but still shifting in and out of focus. Observe thinking more closely, one thought triggers another, images flash from memory, it is just like dreaming, you weave together a story connecting all the dots. The buzz/noise/electric current happens as a side-effect of being in no-mind state, when mind goes totally quiet for a second, then the mind changes, it’s the kundalini transformation thing happening. I’ve observed 1000’s of hours of these kinds of symptoms. Even memories can be provoked as side-effect symptom of Kundalini transformation, as the pathways and memories in brain are being reorganized to be more efficient. It is why dreaming happens at night, after mind has went quiet, it’s a reorganization. And there you are observing it or getting involved in it, whatever. But you are not that.
Anonymous: Anyway, thank you, and if you have something to add, I'm waiting. And one more question:) I'm curious how you see this.
When I'm positive and energetic(high vibration) (especially when far away from sex and staying up too late in the night) I've seen it's quite effortless to see around me the creation of everything I need, even if I don't know what I need, the needs start to flower.
But when I'm low in vibration, negative emotions or even neutral state of mind, it's a struggle, and results come after some or big effort, if they come.
So this means that creation of our potential, manifestation of our choices, it's easier when high in vibration? So "being high" it's a requirement for effortless creation? And by effortless creation I mean flowing with the flow, and supervise attentively, when all around you is a field of something that protects you and grows your needs, flowers your seeds/potential.
Betsy: Being low one is in the state of living in the past, there is nothing ‘new’ in that, it’s a defensive mode, one of fighting to keep the old self alive, while ‘doing that’, no new energy or love can enter into the picture. You keep love at bay, you keep spirit squashed down, it’s a situation of eating oneself alive, or ‘dog-eat-dog’, what you see all around the world today. Everyone fighting to survive, to keep their ‘self-image’ intact, and arguing with everyone and everything to do it.
Being high, one has let go of all the past, only important is what is happening right now, there is no need to cling to anything. One is quiet, observing, and sees far and wide and things one would not have seen while low. Because when low one is blind, the bubble view, the dreamer mode, etc. When one is present one is one with all that is, there is no limit.
Okay, this is truth, but I can’t tell you I live the latter the best of my ability, I tend to still like to fight and struggle a bit, so regress at times. It’s a good reminder, that when it seems like one is struggling, or things are too hard, it’s a clear sign one is ‘activated too much as personality’, and to just breath deep and let it all go.
Betsy
October 3, 2024
09/21/10: How Can I Find My True Heart Center?
Category: Artistic Expression
Posted by: ysteban
How can I find my True Heart Center?
Anonymous wrote: "The goal for me is to balance the emotional heart and mind in order to find the true heart center."
This is a great intention as a goal -- however one must be able to look very near and deep to understand the truth: The 'you' can't DO this. No matter what 'you' try to do, it won't work. It's not a matter of having a technique to accomplish 'what you want', because when there is a technique in play then the 'you' is busy doing - the 'you' is activated and running full tilt, 'you' are and YOU is not. The two aspects of self don't exist at same time, your energy can only be focused in one aspect of self. As long as there is an intention (goal, technique, want, desire, etc.), then 'you' is the manifest aspect of self. To get to that 'true heart center', one must only stand still, to let go of control of running things, to relax using one's energy as being 'the you'. When you do simply that, then it happens you are in your heart center. People can spend a lifetime looking outside trying to find the heart center, when it's there all the time ready for you to recognize it. To say it another way, I have this poem I wrote:
Open up your heart
the symphony is playing
listen to the notes.
Sinking into the music
self forgotten - happiness.
~ Betsy ~
May 12, 2024
Anonymous wrote: "The goal for me is to balance the emotional heart and mind in order to find the true heart center."
This is a great intention as a goal -- however one must be able to look very near and deep to understand the truth: The 'you' can't DO this. No matter what 'you' try to do, it won't work. It's not a matter of having a technique to accomplish 'what you want', because when there is a technique in play then the 'you' is busy doing - the 'you' is activated and running full tilt, 'you' are and YOU is not. The two aspects of self don't exist at same time, your energy can only be focused in one aspect of self. As long as there is an intention (goal, technique, want, desire, etc.), then 'you' is the manifest aspect of self. To get to that 'true heart center', one must only stand still, to let go of control of running things, to relax using one's energy as being 'the you'. When you do simply that, then it happens you are in your heart center. People can spend a lifetime looking outside trying to find the heart center, when it's there all the time ready for you to recognize it. To say it another way, I have this poem I wrote:
Open up your heart
the symphony is playing
listen to the notes.
Sinking into the music
self forgotten - happiness.
~ Betsy ~
May 12, 2024
09/12/10: Tanka - Communication
Category: Artistic Expression
Posted by: ysteban
Tanka: Communication
Wholeness of Being
Heart Connected to the Mind
Seeing and Asking
Inspired answer made into words
spirit transported to world
Words received through mind
vibration felt - thinking starts
ego is alive.
Unknown source is frightening
Reaction as 'me' feels safe.
If there is no question
words of spirit stay hidden
barrier of mind.
Dropping one's knowing -questing
found dusty words change being.
Aha!
Betsy
September 12, 2024
Wholeness of Being
Heart Connected to the Mind
Seeing and Asking
Inspired answer made into words
spirit transported to world
Words received through mind
vibration felt - thinking starts
ego is alive.
Unknown source is frightening
Reaction as 'me' feels safe.
If there is no question
words of spirit stay hidden
barrier of mind.
Dropping one's knowing -questing
found dusty words change being.
Aha!
Betsy
September 12, 2024
Category: Self Awareness & Transformation
Posted by: ysteban
Anonymous (paraphrase): I had a very intense experience with a woman half way across the globe from where I live. It all happened in a magical way. I had published a short article on being still. A number of readers responded back to me with feedback and I aknowledged all of them. However one woman has made such a deep connection with me something of the kind has never happened to me. What I need to do is to stay with the connection and flow with the energy.
I understand your desire to stay with that connection, it comes from deep within. You want to know how to make it a permanent feeling. I guess your article when you wrote it had some elements of light within it, meaning it came from your heart not your mind. This I guess because you got a good feedback response, light responds back to light, even one doesn't know one is doing it. Light passes through the barrier of personality, the defensive part of self that is the interface that normally prevents such exchange. This is because pure light is finer, less dense, hardly has any mass, and is like invisible, it just goes through. This connection you seek is there within you always and right now -- it has nothing to do with the woman, although it's easy to presume this. I had a similar experience years ago and attributed it to that person. the truth is, it was you ready to rise, you awakening, you already shining, (as is evident to me because you wrote that article), and she simply triggered that response in you, by responding to light in kind. Your light -> her light -> your light rose higher.
To get this feeling back, you only need to continue to do the work you have been doing that has gotten you the result you have so far. The most effective is to keep practicing being the observer as much as possible (re: meditation skills), do this twice daily, the more you practice like this, the stronger you will get, the more awareness you are, the less dense personality. It needs quiet dedicated time, two hours per day; it's not enough to do only things like Power of Now (PON), as Eckhardt Tolle explains. For most people their awareness is simply not high enough to be able to observe themselves objectively while personality is activated, which is normal daily life mode. The best is to do both, sitting sessions with full focus on meditation skills, and also do PON techniques during the day time. in this way, you will hone your skills, and your inside will respond, you will slowly rise and get that feeling back.
Anonymous (paraphrase): I would like to know if u can throw some light on this phenomenon - our ability to connect energetically from a distance?
We can connect energetically because the truth is there is no distance between us, we are all connected 'physically', and we are one. The best way I can describe it is it's like we are all fish living in the ocean, when one fish moves, all feel the vibration of that movement. There is actually a web all around us, that connects one to the other, call it dark energy or dark matter, physics knows it's there and works to explain it and understand it better. When one object moves, all the objects in the universe move with it. Theoretically, one can reach to the sun, Pluto and even other solar systems.
Then there is created and creator. The matter is created (past, objects, form) and what creates the matter is creator (present moment, observer, light, unformed, inspiration), Creation happens with simple decision, you put your focus into a particular area, then move and put your energy into that intention/activity. What you focus on, you create. It should be said if you are still mostly driven by ego, what you will create will also be ‘materialistic’ in nature. (Be careful, this is a seductive ego game to fall into, that of wielding power to create things, such as in magic or The Secret, Creative Visualization and the like, one can be entertained with this ability one’s whole life. If one chooses this path, one will pay a huge price. One will have all kinds of material things, but at the expense of having no growth in evolution or spiritual advancement for one’s entire life.) Know, you are both of that, what is created is what you can observe of yourself (all past tense), and who is observing all that is the creator, which has no inherent form, it is pure consciousness, pure light. This is your eternal aspect that can never be destroyed.
You connect energetically at a distance by: setting your focus onto the object you want to connect with (visualize the person with a unique identifier) you hold this focus until you feel the connection, it's like two scalar waves (see link below), deciding to synch up with each other. When the synchronization happens, it feels like a push/pull, I describe it as a bellows, your energy comes towards my energy, my energy mixes with yours, then this goes back the other way to you and mixes with yours and comes back to me, etc. I feel this push-pull sensation during my entire distant healing session.
I do this often with my distant healing, and am able to do it well, because my light is strong, I can be 'as bliss' with a simple decision, coming out of 1,000's of hours of sitting meditation and reiki practice over the years. When I am as light (my awareness is high, I'm in observer mode), then it's like traveling as light on that invisible web that connects us all. I am as the creator I feel simply as a point of light, and can put my focus anywhere into the universe, but at the moment I need a point of reference (so something known, like a person). I haven't tried to put my focus into other places outside of earth, but it’s interesting to think about it.
In short, your ability to actually do this, will get better as you are more aware. If your are interested to know all this (your intention with this question) is so that you can try connecting long distance with that woman to get that feeling again... then that desire comes out of ego-mind, and you better drop it. A better intention would be to learn how to bring out your own light, as you do so, then desires like this will be seen clearly (by light) as ego driven and you will drop them.
There is a new term and science that works to explain this, called scalar energy, a person made some videos about it at this link. I think it was the last video that talks most about scalar energy:
Anonymous (paraphrase): Everything happening is very real yet there is an underlying dismay about the process. Can you throw some light?
Quit attaching to experiences and thinking about them and trying to understand them, and trying to come up with a way to make them happen again. Trying to do this is all ego-mind being in the driver's seat. Look closer at yourself, to see for yourself this is truth.
The dismay comes from activated ego. Know that to be truth. Attaching to experiences and thinking of ways to repeat them, is the mode of busy mind, activated ego/personality. Know that.
Now to get more light is an easy solution, the hard part is you have to want to make the decision: the alternative to activated personality (ego mode) is simply to reset your focus to turn it off, re: go into meditative mode, as in PON techniques, = shut up - get quiet, quit thinking. Practice this often, find different ways that work, do your twice daily sitting meditation, the more you practice the better you will get at it.
Now, we normally don't want to truly stop this old habit, because we get something out of it, which is very precious to us. Activated ego with it's mind chatter and emotional energy charge (emoting) is what we get out of it, and this feeling of strong emotion generated in body from the mind-emotion internal operation, gives us 'the feeling we are alive'. (But this is a lie, that is not the real us, it's the ghostly pretender...) To let that 'old way we are used to being' go, feels to us like death, to fall into that empty void of no longer having that entertaining busy mind-chatter and emoting, feels like we have nothing to hang on to. It is so foreign, we are not used to being 'totally quiet', and we even don't know what might replace all that mind chatter. It’s an unknown space, it's going into a new frontier, into the unknown. The ego-mind then asks, how will I think? how will I be without this? The ego-mind wants to always have something 'to hang onto', a new concept, a new way to pretend, to keep the old game going. Rarely does it ever consider dropping the container the main cause: The thinking process itself, rather it will invent something else to keep the old chatter going on unchecked. Ego-mind never wants to totally let go, because if one does that, then ego-mind mode starts to dissolve, as BEING ARISES. Scary, the firs time this happens. So mind chatter and emoting is also a kind of entertainment, a way to keep one’s energy low, dense and solid as blind formed personality. For sure engaging with this old habit, gives us something back, or we wouldn't use our precious energy in that way. We need to see clear what we get out of it, and what happens when we do it vs. not do it, only after we see this clear are we able to make a clear decision to drop it. When we look close we will see doing this old habit always gives us trouble, unhappiness, negative emotions, harm to self and others, nothing good ever comes out of it. Then we will be ready to let it go.
Okay, so know this: who you are always IS, you can never disappear or die, death = TRANSFORMATION. look back as far as you can remember in your history, maybe you recall a past life or two, maybe not, but if you do, then it should be clear, you are there to remember it. You are always there as the observer no matter what happens on the outside or to your form. you are the rock in the middle of the chaos. YOU ARE ETERNAL, There will always be you there to observe no matter what. Hang onto that, this is where true security comes from, knowing that for sure to be truth.
When one thing dies, another thing takes it's place. it is not like ego is here then in an instant full awareness is here, it is rather a SLOW GROWING PROCESS. If you are working effectively with spiritual techniques then what happens is each day, ego is less and being is more. It is like what you let go of old way of ego, (what you drop), is freed energy from form, which is returned as free awareness to being. This is what TRANSFORMATION means. Too many mystics have reported one just wakes up fully and instantly, and so many egos are confused about that. it's a process, this is one of the main things I work on clearing up, in my articles and future books (if I ever finish them...)
Anonymous’ Stillness Article (paraphrase): The unspoken question is how one can be still or attain this stillness with nature in a turbulent world? The answer is that there is no quick fix solution, but one can start by going back to nature, being in it and observing and listening.
The crux of this problem is one simply has not the ability to do pure direct simple observation. One thinks one can observe ‘nature’ when the fact is, one can’t. This is the big lie we tell ourselves, we think we can observe. One can’t even look at a tree for more than a second or so, the mind always starts up and adds its point of view, and this is what makes us blind. If one could simple gaze for longer extended period of time, then you would see amazing new world leap out and open up: vivid colors, connectivity between
all moving things, things you never noticed before, that tree would look more alive than you had ever seen, the bark is moving, it is undulating, etc., and you would feel great because in that moment the real you IS.
At one’s current state of evolution, one can’t tell CLEARLY the difference between simple gazing pure observation and observing through the mind-interface. this is the step you now are on, to be able to tell the difference. Dig into this question, practice more. When there is not the ability to observe one’s internal thinking & emoting one is doing,
one can’t see the veil that is in place, as unchecked thinking & emoting is the VEIL. There is no distance between the created and the creator, thus no possibility to observe.
This is why all the mystics say the most important question is ‘Who Am I?’ or Know Thyself, or Look Within, it by gaining self knowledge (knowing what is the blindness), that then subsequently opens up the world to pure sight. This one keeps asking until one SEES the truth oneself.
Betsy
June 12, 2024
I understand your desire to stay with that connection, it comes from deep within. You want to know how to make it a permanent feeling. I guess your article when you wrote it had some elements of light within it, meaning it came from your heart not your mind. This I guess because you got a good feedback response, light responds back to light, even one doesn't know one is doing it. Light passes through the barrier of personality, the defensive part of self that is the interface that normally prevents such exchange. This is because pure light is finer, less dense, hardly has any mass, and is like invisible, it just goes through. This connection you seek is there within you always and right now -- it has nothing to do with the woman, although it's easy to presume this. I had a similar experience years ago and attributed it to that person. the truth is, it was you ready to rise, you awakening, you already shining, (as is evident to me because you wrote that article), and she simply triggered that response in you, by responding to light in kind. Your light -> her light -> your light rose higher.
To get this feeling back, you only need to continue to do the work you have been doing that has gotten you the result you have so far. The most effective is to keep practicing being the observer as much as possible (re: meditation skills), do this twice daily, the more you practice like this, the stronger you will get, the more awareness you are, the less dense personality. It needs quiet dedicated time, two hours per day; it's not enough to do only things like Power of Now (PON), as Eckhardt Tolle explains. For most people their awareness is simply not high enough to be able to observe themselves objectively while personality is activated, which is normal daily life mode. The best is to do both, sitting sessions with full focus on meditation skills, and also do PON techniques during the day time. in this way, you will hone your skills, and your inside will respond, you will slowly rise and get that feeling back.
Anonymous (paraphrase): I would like to know if u can throw some light on this phenomenon - our ability to connect energetically from a distance?
We can connect energetically because the truth is there is no distance between us, we are all connected 'physically', and we are one. The best way I can describe it is it's like we are all fish living in the ocean, when one fish moves, all feel the vibration of that movement. There is actually a web all around us, that connects one to the other, call it dark energy or dark matter, physics knows it's there and works to explain it and understand it better. When one object moves, all the objects in the universe move with it. Theoretically, one can reach to the sun, Pluto and even other solar systems.
Then there is created and creator. The matter is created (past, objects, form) and what creates the matter is creator (present moment, observer, light, unformed, inspiration), Creation happens with simple decision, you put your focus into a particular area, then move and put your energy into that intention/activity. What you focus on, you create. It should be said if you are still mostly driven by ego, what you will create will also be ‘materialistic’ in nature. (Be careful, this is a seductive ego game to fall into, that of wielding power to create things, such as in magic or The Secret, Creative Visualization and the like, one can be entertained with this ability one’s whole life. If one chooses this path, one will pay a huge price. One will have all kinds of material things, but at the expense of having no growth in evolution or spiritual advancement for one’s entire life.) Know, you are both of that, what is created is what you can observe of yourself (all past tense), and who is observing all that is the creator, which has no inherent form, it is pure consciousness, pure light. This is your eternal aspect that can never be destroyed.
You connect energetically at a distance by: setting your focus onto the object you want to connect with (visualize the person with a unique identifier) you hold this focus until you feel the connection, it's like two scalar waves (see link below), deciding to synch up with each other. When the synchronization happens, it feels like a push/pull, I describe it as a bellows, your energy comes towards my energy, my energy mixes with yours, then this goes back the other way to you and mixes with yours and comes back to me, etc. I feel this push-pull sensation during my entire distant healing session.
I do this often with my distant healing, and am able to do it well, because my light is strong, I can be 'as bliss' with a simple decision, coming out of 1,000's of hours of sitting meditation and reiki practice over the years. When I am as light (my awareness is high, I'm in observer mode), then it's like traveling as light on that invisible web that connects us all. I am as the creator I feel simply as a point of light, and can put my focus anywhere into the universe, but at the moment I need a point of reference (so something known, like a person). I haven't tried to put my focus into other places outside of earth, but it’s interesting to think about it.
In short, your ability to actually do this, will get better as you are more aware. If your are interested to know all this (your intention with this question) is so that you can try connecting long distance with that woman to get that feeling again... then that desire comes out of ego-mind, and you better drop it. A better intention would be to learn how to bring out your own light, as you do so, then desires like this will be seen clearly (by light) as ego driven and you will drop them.
There is a new term and science that works to explain this, called scalar energy, a person made some videos about it at this link. I think it was the last video that talks most about scalar energy:
Anonymous (paraphrase): Everything happening is very real yet there is an underlying dismay about the process. Can you throw some light?
Quit attaching to experiences and thinking about them and trying to understand them, and trying to come up with a way to make them happen again. Trying to do this is all ego-mind being in the driver's seat. Look closer at yourself, to see for yourself this is truth.
The dismay comes from activated ego. Know that to be truth. Attaching to experiences and thinking of ways to repeat them, is the mode of busy mind, activated ego/personality. Know that.
Now to get more light is an easy solution, the hard part is you have to want to make the decision: the alternative to activated personality (ego mode) is simply to reset your focus to turn it off, re: go into meditative mode, as in PON techniques, = shut up - get quiet, quit thinking. Practice this often, find different ways that work, do your twice daily sitting meditation, the more you practice the better you will get at it.
Now, we normally don't want to truly stop this old habit, because we get something out of it, which is very precious to us. Activated ego with it's mind chatter and emotional energy charge (emoting) is what we get out of it, and this feeling of strong emotion generated in body from the mind-emotion internal operation, gives us 'the feeling we are alive'. (But this is a lie, that is not the real us, it's the ghostly pretender...) To let that 'old way we are used to being' go, feels to us like death, to fall into that empty void of no longer having that entertaining busy mind-chatter and emoting, feels like we have nothing to hang on to. It is so foreign, we are not used to being 'totally quiet', and we even don't know what might replace all that mind chatter. It’s an unknown space, it's going into a new frontier, into the unknown. The ego-mind then asks, how will I think? how will I be without this? The ego-mind wants to always have something 'to hang onto', a new concept, a new way to pretend, to keep the old game going. Rarely does it ever consider dropping the container the main cause: The thinking process itself, rather it will invent something else to keep the old chatter going on unchecked. Ego-mind never wants to totally let go, because if one does that, then ego-mind mode starts to dissolve, as BEING ARISES. Scary, the firs time this happens. So mind chatter and emoting is also a kind of entertainment, a way to keep one’s energy low, dense and solid as blind formed personality. For sure engaging with this old habit, gives us something back, or we wouldn't use our precious energy in that way. We need to see clear what we get out of it, and what happens when we do it vs. not do it, only after we see this clear are we able to make a clear decision to drop it. When we look close we will see doing this old habit always gives us trouble, unhappiness, negative emotions, harm to self and others, nothing good ever comes out of it. Then we will be ready to let it go.
Okay, so know this: who you are always IS, you can never disappear or die, death = TRANSFORMATION. look back as far as you can remember in your history, maybe you recall a past life or two, maybe not, but if you do, then it should be clear, you are there to remember it. You are always there as the observer no matter what happens on the outside or to your form. you are the rock in the middle of the chaos. YOU ARE ETERNAL, There will always be you there to observe no matter what. Hang onto that, this is where true security comes from, knowing that for sure to be truth.
When one thing dies, another thing takes it's place. it is not like ego is here then in an instant full awareness is here, it is rather a SLOW GROWING PROCESS. If you are working effectively with spiritual techniques then what happens is each day, ego is less and being is more. It is like what you let go of old way of ego, (what you drop), is freed energy from form, which is returned as free awareness to being. This is what TRANSFORMATION means. Too many mystics have reported one just wakes up fully and instantly, and so many egos are confused about that. it's a process, this is one of the main things I work on clearing up, in my articles and future books (if I ever finish them...)
Anonymous’ Stillness Article (paraphrase): The unspoken question is how one can be still or attain this stillness with nature in a turbulent world? The answer is that there is no quick fix solution, but one can start by going back to nature, being in it and observing and listening.
The crux of this problem is one simply has not the ability to do pure direct simple observation. One thinks one can observe ‘nature’ when the fact is, one can’t. This is the big lie we tell ourselves, we think we can observe. One can’t even look at a tree for more than a second or so, the mind always starts up and adds its point of view, and this is what makes us blind. If one could simple gaze for longer extended period of time, then you would see amazing new world leap out and open up: vivid colors, connectivity between
all moving things, things you never noticed before, that tree would look more alive than you had ever seen, the bark is moving, it is undulating, etc., and you would feel great because in that moment the real you IS.
At one’s current state of evolution, one can’t tell CLEARLY the difference between simple gazing pure observation and observing through the mind-interface. this is the step you now are on, to be able to tell the difference. Dig into this question, practice more. When there is not the ability to observe one’s internal thinking & emoting one is doing,
one can’t see the veil that is in place, as unchecked thinking & emoting is the VEIL. There is no distance between the created and the creator, thus no possibility to observe.
This is why all the mystics say the most important question is ‘Who Am I?’ or Know Thyself, or Look Within, it by gaining self knowledge (knowing what is the blindness), that then subsequently opens up the world to pure sight. This one keeps asking until one SEES the truth oneself.
Betsy
June 12, 2024
09/19/09: Is it possible our eyes deceive us?
Category: Self Awareness & Transformation
Posted by: ysteban
Question: Both philosophically & spiritually, is it possible our eyes deceive us?
Answer: Deception happens from the mind not the eyes. Like another said: the eyes are neutral, providing data. What happens is people think they are seeing, but what they are actually doing is engaging in a kind of internal dialog with the raw data they have received through their senses. It's a lot like the dreaming which happens in the night. We engage in thinking and generate feelings according to that from the images, and weave a story around all that we view in the recorded images. We have great capability to recall recorded images from our extensive memory banks, and what we do that deceives us is interact with these memories, like it's real time, but in fact, all is just memory and all is in the past.
This activity of being engaged processing the raw data, and coming to conclusions about it via our cognitive processes, is also what makes us blind to what is going on right now. This is because our attention is withdrawn from the outside world and turned inside, to process all that data in this way. The deception happens here, in weaving the story and making our conclusions, judgments, etc., which we do with our thinking. The more we believe what we think is true and that our conclusions are truth, the more we are deceived. The more emotion we can generate with the undertone of our thoughts the more it feels 'real', thus we fool ourselves that how we see it (the interpreted viewpoint) is in fact reality, when in reality it's only a figment of our imagination.
I wrote a poem which says the same in fewer words: Lost in Inside World
Betsy
Answer: Deception happens from the mind not the eyes. Like another said: the eyes are neutral, providing data. What happens is people think they are seeing, but what they are actually doing is engaging in a kind of internal dialog with the raw data they have received through their senses. It's a lot like the dreaming which happens in the night. We engage in thinking and generate feelings according to that from the images, and weave a story around all that we view in the recorded images. We have great capability to recall recorded images from our extensive memory banks, and what we do that deceives us is interact with these memories, like it's real time, but in fact, all is just memory and all is in the past.
This activity of being engaged processing the raw data, and coming to conclusions about it via our cognitive processes, is also what makes us blind to what is going on right now. This is because our attention is withdrawn from the outside world and turned inside, to process all that data in this way. The deception happens here, in weaving the story and making our conclusions, judgments, etc., which we do with our thinking. The more we believe what we think is true and that our conclusions are truth, the more we are deceived. The more emotion we can generate with the undertone of our thoughts the more it feels 'real', thus we fool ourselves that how we see it (the interpreted viewpoint) is in fact reality, when in reality it's only a figment of our imagination.
I wrote a poem which says the same in fewer words: Lost in Inside World
Betsy
05/20/09: How to Self-Heal by Doing Nothing
Quote: “And he did straiten them in the wilderness with his rod; for they hardened their hearts, even as ye have; and the Lord straitened them because of their iniquity. He sent fiery flying serpents among them; and after they were bitten he prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished." [2]
"But few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them." [3]
This is an interesting quote to find; I understand it is from the Book of Mormon’s?
I have been working with self-healing for over 10 years, and I understood this at the time I started: that the energy of ‘god’ could heal me if I would only allow it. Finding out how to do this simple thing, to just ‘look’, took me many years to accomplish, but eventually I got quite good at it. Look = Observe = Listen = Not-think = have no intention or idea = totally quiet mind = zero thinking. Simple looking is like gazing, and the focus of one’s gaze can be in the external world, such as looking at a solid brass serpent, or it can be the focal point somewhere inside one’s body, such as observing one’s breathing happening all by itself. This practice of ‘looking’ is the same that is known for 1,000’s of years as the practice of meditation.
Around 3 years ago, my meditation deepened and I was able to determine when I was successfully ‘looking purely’ and when I was not (noisy mind voice). It was at this same time that a spontaneous healing started in my body, and has continued since the onset. Observing this wonderful happening, then I realized a simple truth: ‘Healing happens when you sleep’. Every night when we go to sleep, then at some time during the night, our mind goes totally quiet and the healer that exists within ourselves, wakes up in the space of our quiet and work to heal us. We all know that we feel a little better, more healed, with more energy when we wake up in the morning – no matter at what level our health or age is. We need sleep, and the reason is, is this is the time when ‘we let go of our mind’, and allow healing to happen in our body.
Yet, we all eventually see, as we age and acquire disease, that the time spent in sleep each night is not enough to fully restore our body to vibrant health or maintain a homeostasis. So then back to the quote, if you want to heal, then practice simple looking as much as you can each waking day. This is exactly what I found to be true, there is sufficient energy in my body as the source or spirit of my creator or ‘healer within’ to heal me, but it only happens if ‘I” (the mind-voice, the doer) steps aside and allows it. One can get more time in for ‘healing’ when one practices meditation during the day, thus is also what is needed when a disease has developed. Disease can only develop and one degenerates from it, because one doesn’t have sufficient energy to heal it. Thus why one needs to get more energy to heal, and the way is to: simply look.
Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.
This is so true of people, and why they will not do a simple thing to heal them. It is because people feel they have to do something to heal themselves, and looking is felt by the person as not doing anything. Thus one feels like one is losing control over one’s healing process or life if one practices ‘doing nothing’. I don’t know if the one reading this can understand this: Doing Nothing is Allowing God to Work within you. While you are busy with your doing, then you effectively keep god at bay. It is only by doing nothing, that god can fully heal you. The choice is in your hands, yet it takes trust that this will work, in order to be able to ‘test it’, or allow it. Most people choose not to do self-healing via the route of ‘looking’ as they prefer to ‘do it themselves’, and we see the result – nothing works.
It does not matter what disease one has, all disease can be healed in this way. This is because the source of you, the healer within, knows exactly how to heal every system in your body. If you deeply understand this, then you see the simple truth is revealed on how to heal yourself. To heal needs no intention on your part (intention, ideas, all these come out of thinking, and thus won’t work, because if you have some idea, then you are not purely ‘looking’). You only have to set aside time each day to allow ‘your healer’ to ‘emerge or come alive’ and go to work and heal you. This happens all by itself, when you truly can enter state of quiet mind or simple looking. It will take practice to get good at this, but each time you practice it, the number of seconds you can stay quiet will increase over time. Each second of quiet mind counts, as the energy of your healer works miracles at ‘the speed of light’. While awake and meditating and when your length of time to stay quiet gets longer, it will eventually feel a lot like ‘sleeping’, but your aren’t, you are aware and still can observe your body, so it more like watching yourself asleep.
Lastly, I don’t get the interpretation from this scripture that some get, that one needs to do coitus to heal, to raise sexual energy and then not to allow orgasm. This I never found to be true nor necessary during my healing process. This interpretation confounds the simplicity of the instruction: just look. In one’s healing process if sexual energy is needed to be expressed (orgasm), then it will happen by itself. It needs no intention. The truth is that orgasm energy is the highest one can raise in the body, and after orgasm is expressed, then electrical energy travels up the spine through the nervous system and brings high energy into the brain, which can be very healing. Realize that raising sexual energy doesn’t need to be an intention nor should it be repressed, it’s more like when you are thirsty drink, when you are tired sleep, etc.
I have instructions on my website for free on how to do simple meditation and I have a higher-level energetic healing technique using reiki and acupressure. I think this is best tool I have, because it helps one to go into the state of quiet mind or simple looking because it effectively raises the bodies’ vibration (excites the nervous system), which can shake one out of the zone of ‘endless chattering’ or thinking. There is a body relaxation technique and how to do a standing meditation. Links to these tools are on this page:
Transformation Tools
It is not my intention to promote my techniques, but rather to encourage people to take on their own healing process and experiment with various things. What I can offer is my testimonial from my own result of full healing of a congenital disease. When I regularly practiced the technique of simple ‘looking’, then indeed healing happened in my body. It is free to experiment and try various meditation tools and make the decision for yourself rather than just believe what I say. It only needs your time and commitment; nothing is needed to be purchased. To be able to make a fair assessment if a self-healing tool works, one must use it daily for at least 3 weeks.
To fully heal from a disease, will not happen in one hour of successful ‘simple looking’. It took years to build up your disease, and it will take many hours of your practice to reverse it. See the positive side of a long process, degeneration STOPS as soon as you get effective in ‘pure looking’ and healing is happening, just know it takes it’s time. For me, it has been around 5,000 hours of doing this, and each hour makes me closer to being fully healed of every problem I had in my body, where being near 50 years of age, this covered a large gamut of various problems. Self-healing is a hard process to go through, but the alternative isn’t very good: nothing else works, pills and surgeries don’t treat the root cause and effect a cure, one continues each day to age and degenerate and the suffering goes on.
Betsy
"But few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them." [3]
This is an interesting quote to find; I understand it is from the Book of Mormon’s?
I have been working with self-healing for over 10 years, and I understood this at the time I started: that the energy of ‘god’ could heal me if I would only allow it. Finding out how to do this simple thing, to just ‘look’, took me many years to accomplish, but eventually I got quite good at it. Look = Observe = Listen = Not-think = have no intention or idea = totally quiet mind = zero thinking. Simple looking is like gazing, and the focus of one’s gaze can be in the external world, such as looking at a solid brass serpent, or it can be the focal point somewhere inside one’s body, such as observing one’s breathing happening all by itself. This practice of ‘looking’ is the same that is known for 1,000’s of years as the practice of meditation.
Around 3 years ago, my meditation deepened and I was able to determine when I was successfully ‘looking purely’ and when I was not (noisy mind voice). It was at this same time that a spontaneous healing started in my body, and has continued since the onset. Observing this wonderful happening, then I realized a simple truth: ‘Healing happens when you sleep’. Every night when we go to sleep, then at some time during the night, our mind goes totally quiet and the healer that exists within ourselves, wakes up in the space of our quiet and work to heal us. We all know that we feel a little better, more healed, with more energy when we wake up in the morning – no matter at what level our health or age is. We need sleep, and the reason is, is this is the time when ‘we let go of our mind’, and allow healing to happen in our body.
Yet, we all eventually see, as we age and acquire disease, that the time spent in sleep each night is not enough to fully restore our body to vibrant health or maintain a homeostasis. So then back to the quote, if you want to heal, then practice simple looking as much as you can each waking day. This is exactly what I found to be true, there is sufficient energy in my body as the source or spirit of my creator or ‘healer within’ to heal me, but it only happens if ‘I” (the mind-voice, the doer) steps aside and allows it. One can get more time in for ‘healing’ when one practices meditation during the day, thus is also what is needed when a disease has developed. Disease can only develop and one degenerates from it, because one doesn’t have sufficient energy to heal it. Thus why one needs to get more energy to heal, and the way is to: simply look.
Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.
This is so true of people, and why they will not do a simple thing to heal them. It is because people feel they have to do something to heal themselves, and looking is felt by the person as not doing anything. Thus one feels like one is losing control over one’s healing process or life if one practices ‘doing nothing’. I don’t know if the one reading this can understand this: Doing Nothing is Allowing God to Work within you. While you are busy with your doing, then you effectively keep god at bay. It is only by doing nothing, that god can fully heal you. The choice is in your hands, yet it takes trust that this will work, in order to be able to ‘test it’, or allow it. Most people choose not to do self-healing via the route of ‘looking’ as they prefer to ‘do it themselves’, and we see the result – nothing works.
It does not matter what disease one has, all disease can be healed in this way. This is because the source of you, the healer within, knows exactly how to heal every system in your body. If you deeply understand this, then you see the simple truth is revealed on how to heal yourself. To heal needs no intention on your part (intention, ideas, all these come out of thinking, and thus won’t work, because if you have some idea, then you are not purely ‘looking’). You only have to set aside time each day to allow ‘your healer’ to ‘emerge or come alive’ and go to work and heal you. This happens all by itself, when you truly can enter state of quiet mind or simple looking. It will take practice to get good at this, but each time you practice it, the number of seconds you can stay quiet will increase over time. Each second of quiet mind counts, as the energy of your healer works miracles at ‘the speed of light’. While awake and meditating and when your length of time to stay quiet gets longer, it will eventually feel a lot like ‘sleeping’, but your aren’t, you are aware and still can observe your body, so it more like watching yourself asleep.
Lastly, I don’t get the interpretation from this scripture that some get, that one needs to do coitus to heal, to raise sexual energy and then not to allow orgasm. This I never found to be true nor necessary during my healing process. This interpretation confounds the simplicity of the instruction: just look. In one’s healing process if sexual energy is needed to be expressed (orgasm), then it will happen by itself. It needs no intention. The truth is that orgasm energy is the highest one can raise in the body, and after orgasm is expressed, then electrical energy travels up the spine through the nervous system and brings high energy into the brain, which can be very healing. Realize that raising sexual energy doesn’t need to be an intention nor should it be repressed, it’s more like when you are thirsty drink, when you are tired sleep, etc.
I have instructions on my website for free on how to do simple meditation and I have a higher-level energetic healing technique using reiki and acupressure. I think this is best tool I have, because it helps one to go into the state of quiet mind or simple looking because it effectively raises the bodies’ vibration (excites the nervous system), which can shake one out of the zone of ‘endless chattering’ or thinking. There is a body relaxation technique and how to do a standing meditation. Links to these tools are on this page:
Transformation Tools
It is not my intention to promote my techniques, but rather to encourage people to take on their own healing process and experiment with various things. What I can offer is my testimonial from my own result of full healing of a congenital disease. When I regularly practiced the technique of simple ‘looking’, then indeed healing happened in my body. It is free to experiment and try various meditation tools and make the decision for yourself rather than just believe what I say. It only needs your time and commitment; nothing is needed to be purchased. To be able to make a fair assessment if a self-healing tool works, one must use it daily for at least 3 weeks.
To fully heal from a disease, will not happen in one hour of successful ‘simple looking’. It took years to build up your disease, and it will take many hours of your practice to reverse it. See the positive side of a long process, degeneration STOPS as soon as you get effective in ‘pure looking’ and healing is happening, just know it takes it’s time. For me, it has been around 5,000 hours of doing this, and each hour makes me closer to being fully healed of every problem I had in my body, where being near 50 years of age, this covered a large gamut of various problems. Self-healing is a hard process to go through, but the alternative isn’t very good: nothing else works, pills and surgeries don’t treat the root cause and effect a cure, one continues each day to age and degenerate and the suffering goes on.
Betsy
03/31/09: Poem: Balance Happens By Itself
Category: Artistic Expression
Posted by: ysteban
Balance Happens By Itself
Balance existed while simply riding the bike
euphoria arose when one forgot oneself
like this, the bike and the rider are one.
Attaching to sensation of euphoria
wanting it to last forever - oneness dissolves
split arises - clinging to material desire.
The rider and the bike no longer as one
the center is lost when clinging to edges
loss of balance - crashing to the ground.
Brushing off the red cheeks and dust
activated reflecting 'story telling' view
rating value of self from outside opinions.
Interpretation of happenings by storyteller
is reflected eyes we all use to view our world.
How you see it, how you think they see it - give these no heed.
No story is more or less valuable than your own
all stories are just a story - neither holds truth
relaxing your need for continuous commentary.
Yet, the euphoria moment remains as a memory
a light under the dark cloud that took it's place
leaving one to wonder how to get back there again.
Looking squarely at happening - seeing your truth
you fell off the bike because you started daydreaming
laughing at your folly, you get back on the bike again.
Practice makes perfect...
Betsy
March 31, 2024
Balance existed while simply riding the bike
euphoria arose when one forgot oneself
like this, the bike and the rider are one.
Attaching to sensation of euphoria
wanting it to last forever - oneness dissolves
split arises - clinging to material desire.
The rider and the bike no longer as one
the center is lost when clinging to edges
loss of balance - crashing to the ground.
Brushing off the red cheeks and dust
activated reflecting 'story telling' view
rating value of self from outside opinions.
Interpretation of happenings by storyteller
is reflected eyes we all use to view our world.
How you see it, how you think they see it - give these no heed.
No story is more or less valuable than your own
all stories are just a story - neither holds truth
relaxing your need for continuous commentary.
Yet, the euphoria moment remains as a memory
a light under the dark cloud that took it's place
leaving one to wonder how to get back there again.
Looking squarely at happening - seeing your truth
you fell off the bike because you started daydreaming
laughing at your folly, you get back on the bike again.
Practice makes perfect...
Betsy
March 31, 2024
Category: Self Awareness & Transformation
Posted by: ysteban
‘Moving as Being’ Standing Meditation
“Letting Go of conscious control of one’s body”
I recommend doing this meditation after ‘spiritual awakening’ as it allows you to practice ‘moving as being’, or letting go of moving yourself using voluntary control of body muscles using one’s mind. If you have not experienced a spiritual awakening yet, don’t let that stop you, if you are drawn to try it – go ahead – one must first and foremost follow one’s heart. Given how this technique is primarily a meditation and is done standing, it is thus powerful and will benefit anyone if they do it. All by itself, it is a powerful meditation, and can further your healing and spiritual awakening process.
The transformation healing process of human beings, is an evolutionary one and we are all within it at different stages, whether it is at level of pre-awakening, spiritual awakening or kundalini transformation, the process has at it’s root that of changing one’s body and mind (nervous system) away from a duality nervous system (split body, left/right brain, reflected world) response to ultimately one of spontaneous, unified, non-reflected and direct reaction to one’s environment. These changes in the body happen gradually over time and by themselves every time when one enters the state of no-mind or deep meditation, as when energy is withdrawn from the brain (one is not using it), it is only then that changes to the organization of the brain itself can be done. These episodes of no-mind activity can happen in other ways besides that of deliberate meditation or spiritual practices. They can happen in a trauma, a shock, by looking at extreme beauty or nature as well as meditation - what they all have in common is a sudden onset of forgetting oneself totally; one’s mind goes totally quiet. In this space one is changed.
To read the full article click here
Betsy
“Letting Go of conscious control of one’s body”
I recommend doing this meditation after ‘spiritual awakening’ as it allows you to practice ‘moving as being’, or letting go of moving yourself using voluntary control of body muscles using one’s mind. If you have not experienced a spiritual awakening yet, don’t let that stop you, if you are drawn to try it – go ahead – one must first and foremost follow one’s heart. Given how this technique is primarily a meditation and is done standing, it is thus powerful and will benefit anyone if they do it. All by itself, it is a powerful meditation, and can further your healing and spiritual awakening process.
The transformation healing process of human beings, is an evolutionary one and we are all within it at different stages, whether it is at level of pre-awakening, spiritual awakening or kundalini transformation, the process has at it’s root that of changing one’s body and mind (nervous system) away from a duality nervous system (split body, left/right brain, reflected world) response to ultimately one of spontaneous, unified, non-reflected and direct reaction to one’s environment. These changes in the body happen gradually over time and by themselves every time when one enters the state of no-mind or deep meditation, as when energy is withdrawn from the brain (one is not using it), it is only then that changes to the organization of the brain itself can be done. These episodes of no-mind activity can happen in other ways besides that of deliberate meditation or spiritual practices. They can happen in a trauma, a shock, by looking at extreme beauty or nature as well as meditation - what they all have in common is a sudden onset of forgetting oneself totally; one’s mind goes totally quiet. In this space one is changed.
To read the full article click here
Betsy
03/10/09: Poem: Transformation II
Category: Artistic Expression
Posted by: ysteban
Transformation II
A low vibration
can’t see high vibration thought
silence rarely is.
Constant chatter weaves the dream
locking one in world of mind.
Extreme suffering
turning point – asking questions
ear tuned to high pitch.
Listen – intent for answer
vibration rises – Silence.
Changed in an instant
thoughts at times now visible
small hole in veil.
Surrender voice for silence
source alters mind – view expands.
Betsy
March 10, 2024
A low vibration
can’t see high vibration thought
silence rarely is.
Constant chatter weaves the dream
locking one in world of mind.
Extreme suffering
turning point – asking questions
ear tuned to high pitch.
Listen – intent for answer
vibration rises – Silence.
Changed in an instant
thoughts at times now visible
small hole in veil.
Surrender voice for silence
source alters mind – view expands.
Betsy
March 10, 2024
