Kundalini Awakening & Transformation

Can you watch your own thinking or not?

Anonymous: It's a good article (All is vibration), but I have one question, because I'm getting my head around it, and your article came by "coincidence" into my view. You said: "One can t really watch one’s thinking, because when one is thinking then one’s awareness is totally withdrawn and one has become the thinker". Why do you say that? I mean, it's ok, logical, but if I can observe my body while it happens, and my emotions while they happen, why not thoughts too? I said to myself it's because I'm not focused enough that I cannot see the thought happening before my eyes while it happens. But I'm open to see your version if you have more to say about it.

Betsy: Good question! Awareness is the source, being the source it has no properties. When one is fully alert there is no thinking. This is pure observation. Focal points in meditation are most effective when they don't need your help 'to think about it', simply gazing at an object or feeling one's breathing happening by itself are good focal points. Even so, people will meditate, 'observing' their breath, and they say to themselves, I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out, watch my breath, focus back, etc., they chatter the whole time, if they even can remember to do that much. Thought is such a high frequency that it's hard to detect you are even doing this chatter all the time. I spend years doing meditation thinking I was quiet, then finally was able to see I was not as quiet as I thought. A few months after this observation was when I was able to keenly see thinking start up and try different focal points until I 'fell asleep' totally, into silent oblivion. One observes oneself falling asleep as the ego shuts up entirely, which is scary the first times it happens like that. When one reaches this happening, then it keeps repeating and it becomes normal that the whole hour meditation passes in what seems to be only a few minutes. Then you know what is full awareness. Later you observe clearly the difference between activated ego and activated awareness during waking hours and know they are mutually exclusive states, it's one or the other.

Once the thinking starts, then no longer fully alert, attention is drawn within to self-reflection mode (that's why you can get blind if you get sucked into this too much), that is what is manifest in that moment -- another word for it 'activated personality'. If there is also a strong emotional charge, then it’s strongly activated personality. It’s like turning around in a dream world then, like emoting. One can't observe when like that because one is totally sucked into another world, the source is buried because it's the energy being used to create this phenomena.
In either case, the truth is: IT”S ALL YOU…

Thought is symptom of 'internal chatter', one is talking to oneself, mulling something over, asking questions, or engaging in a story of one's own making (totally lost). When one is just feeling what's happening such as vibration in body, then this doesn't need thinking. Mostly when you observe your emotions or thinking happening, this observation is taking place 'past tense', not in real time. You are in reflection mode, retrieving memories, using logic, etc, and this is mostly done by recalling what just happened. Then also you observe, you are thinking heavily and ego is activated, and alert awareness is no more. One could easily walk up quietly upon you and go 'boo' and you would jump, because your attention was withdrawn into mind. While fully aware you feel and see things instantaneously and direct, it's never past tense.

Logic can never figure this out, because using logic is 'past tense' state, there is no 'new source' (inspiration) element in logic. You churn around what you think you already know internally. Logic is best used to form a question, which is what you did by writing. Anyway, I can't convince you of anything with my words nor do I want to. This is one you have to see for yourself to know it's true.

Anonymous: Thank you for explanation and details. I understand everything you say, from my own experience. Everything you said fits with what I saw. There are maybe some differences about the practice. I'm giving as much as I can to improve, but I don't know how much relatively to you. I guess it doesn't matter. The essential things are the same => if there are errors in my perception of what you say, they are quite little.

Betsy: Truth is recognized

Anonymous: It's good to see other people trying to do what you try to do. It's like you meet "your kind".

Betsy: I hear you, few and far between

Anonymous: My little annoying thing is the word "total"... total involvement in mind/ego/'past tense' etc... either or.. either full awareness or involvement... Because I believe it's possible to see and create in the same time. To not be involved totally with your results, but being more involved with observing you while creating , and then see the results with peripheral vision, if I could say it like this.

Betsy: There is never a need to chatter when fully aware, it’s just pure silence observing, you are doing, you are being, you are intensely alive. You don’t need to ‘talk internally’ to SEE what you’re doing. One must have taken the step to have seen for oneself -> directly that SEEING is never happening while mind is active, in fact it creates a blindness to SEE, one’s attention is turned into one’s internal world of mind. This is an advanced step, and even I thought I had done it because it’s easy to intellectually understand, before I had actually done it / seen it direct. Few today have completed this step. Sometimes a poem can help, I wrote this poem which addresses this step.
http://phoenixtools.org/poetry/tanka_lostininsideworld.htm

To understand this further, take for instance a race car driver, going at super fast speed with other cars around, they are not thinking at all, they are pure focus, if they lose pure focus for a moment, such as getting distracted thinking, they crash, it is life threatening. The same for a rock climber - while in scaling / climbing mode - they are not thinking things over, it’s pure being in the moment, and doing, and reacting to what they are sensing. This is the attraction of these sports, to feel oneself as intense aliveness, so they do it to get that rush feeling. They don’t know ‘intense aliveness’ can be achieved in other ways no matter the setting --- simply by being ‘quiet’. So they get addicted to their sport.


Anonymous: Everything you say (it's really nice that you talk from your own experience mostly) it's true from my point of view.

Betsy: You can easily state this, that it’s true from your point of view, but it is exactly your point of view and my point of view that prevents us from connecting ‘at source. I don’t know what you are really receiving as your point of view, until you say more and I can zoom in on what it is. As far as I know I talk from my own experience wholly, at least what I’ve expressed to you so far.

Anonymous: I just asked because I'm not sure if it's possible to stay aware and create, but remain aware, and not go too far into results, to avoid identification with results. I really believe it's true and possible to remain detached, just that it's a mastery few humans achieve. Maybe because of laziness and weaknesses, because from my point of view everyone can do it, if one chooses to.

Betsy: Because of laziness, weakness and addiction to the old habit. I agree, everyone can choose to do it, and the more you practice, the better you get at it. Now I go into ‘my current theory’. I believe the current structure of brain is built for self-reflection, re: ego mind, and it is a preliminary structure to get us to recognize our true nature. This means it’s a beneficial structure, intended for that purpose. After having recognized one’s true self, then energy explodes, one wakes up, all kinds of charismas happen, then this is the start of the building of a new brain, basically eliminating all the parts that make ‘self-reflection’ or internal chatter possible. This structure in brain is no longer needed, so latent DNA switches get turned on, to make a new structure in brain / wiring and remove the old. This moves towards creating a new human where instantaneous adaptation and reaction to environment, such as is achieved by the race car driver with intense focus, is normal operation. One never forgets what one saw – the real self… At exactly this moment, the old personality structure starts to break down and the new awareness body starts to unfold, the insitu-metamorphosis in body is happening. The new is being built from the old. This goes on at a rate that is dependent upon how much one works with it. If one stops working with it, it basically stalls. Now it happens, that this process of ‘growing a new brain’, happens most efficiently when one practices ‘not using the brain’, re: one is aware or in quiet mind meditative state. The brain can only be reorganized when it’s not being used! It is my key phrase: ‘Healing happens when you sleep’, the subject & title of the book I am writing. On my part, I have to still focus and work at it but it’s much easier than in the past.

Anonymous: If what I believe is possible, then we can easily see the starting and happening of thoughts real time, and influence their flux, sustain them or not. In a word, being the master over mind.

Betsy: I don’t have any big disagreement with this, it’s basically correct as I understand it. It’s just the ‘real time’ aspect, I don’t think it’s real time, it’s rather we realize it past tense, but there can be just a second in between. With higher levels of awareness you can more keenly observe yourself and see how you are using your energy and shift focus when you want, thinking or not. And I agree that’s mastery over mind. But this leaves the question, not all people are equally aware, so why with higher level awareness can one more readily see what is happening with energy use?

Then it might be you have a belief, and you want confirmation for it, pure awareness has no such need for confirming such a theory. You remind me of myself years ago, you are very intelligent, like a philosopher, and love to ponder these things. No blame, it’s a good base, but also difficult to let go of ‘your precious intelligence’… A big bonus and a big block at same time… Problem is, you can go over and over and over this, and look at from all angles, but you will never get the answer this way. This answer will only come from quiet. So pose it, but just sit in mediation and wait for the answer to arrive, it doesn’t need you to figure it out… Talking back and forth here, even if someone were to know the truth ( might I know? You are not sure, right? Okay… ) will never resolve this for you. You don’t know whom might know, as you reach higher levels, you rarely meet someone who can answer your more difficult questions. You trust yourself more than others, that is good. Yet, there is nothing ‘new’ in that. Your thinking doesn’t know the answer, because you don’t know the answer, because it’s unknown to you. Now you reach the point, where you have to get the answer direct from source, set your intention: pose your question, sit in meditation, now tell yourself you don’t have to think about it to keep you intention/question ‘in focus’. Just trust you’ve established it by voicing it, then let go of all thinking. Keep doing this until you get your answer out of source from quiet intuition – it will leap into sight, and you will go AHA, I get it!

Anonymous: Buddha and enlightened humans can do it from my point of view. This is what I wanted to check. Because I could be wrong and believe non sense stuff.

Betsy: You can’t ‘grok’ the capabilities you don’t have. This becomes a silly argument…

Anonymous: And one thing more from my experience. There were many times when in meditation it was like... getting my head into the "waters of thoughts" and seeing colors, thoughts (audio), video, etc (mind stuff)... and then getting my head out of the "waters of thoughts", and see their buzz and noise, like electric current or something, pure movement and just movement inside my head. Then if I entered again in thoughts, in noises, in their movement, "the water", again stories appeared, sounds images, associations etc.

Betsy: Thoughts don’t happen by themselves, it’s you using energy to think, you are thinking. Any thing you see or observe triggers ‘thinking’. If you are aware enough, then you notice the reactive thinking has started, and you set it aside. What you describe here is keen observation, but still shifting in and out of focus. Observe thinking more closely, one thought triggers another, images flash from memory, it is just like dreaming, you weave together a story connecting all the dots. The buzz/noise/electric current happens as a side-effect of being in no-mind state, when mind goes totally quiet for a second, then the mind changes, it’s the kundalini transformation thing happening. I’ve observed 1000’s of hours of these kinds of symptoms. Even memories can be provoked as side-effect symptom of Kundalini transformation, as the pathways and memories in brain are being reorganized to be more efficient. It is why dreaming happens at night, after mind has went quiet, it’s a reorganization. And there you are observing it or getting involved in it, whatever. But you are not that.


Anonymous: Anyway, thank you, and if you have something to add, I'm waiting. And one more question:) I'm curious how you see this.

When I'm positive and energetic(high vibration) (especially when far away from sex and staying up too late in the night) I've seen it's quite effortless to see around me the creation of everything I need, even if I don't know what I need, the needs start to flower.

But when I'm low in vibration, negative emotions or even neutral state of mind, it's a struggle, and results come after some or big effort, if they come.

So this means that creation of our potential, manifestation of our choices, it's easier when high in vibration? So "being high" it's a requirement for effortless creation? And by effortless creation I mean flowing with the flow, and supervise attentively, when all around you is a field of something that protects you and grows your needs, flowers your seeds/potential.

Betsy: Being low one is in the state of living in the past, there is nothing ‘new’ in that, it’s a defensive mode, one of fighting to keep the old self alive, while ‘doing that’, no new energy or love can enter into the picture. You keep love at bay, you keep spirit squashed down, it’s a situation of eating oneself alive, or ‘dog-eat-dog’, what you see all around the world today. Everyone fighting to survive, to keep their ‘self-image’ intact, and arguing with everyone and everything to do it.

Being high, one has let go of all the past, only important is what is happening right now, there is no need to cling to anything. One is quiet, observing, and sees far and wide and things one would not have seen while low. Because when low one is blind, the bubble view, the dreamer mode, etc. When one is present one is one with all that is, there is no limit.

Okay, this is truth, but I can’t tell you I live the latter the best of my ability, I tend to still like to fight and struggle a bit, so regress at times. It’s a good reminder, that when it seems like one is struggling, or things are too hard, it’s a clear sign one is ‘activated too much as personality’, and to just breath deep and let it all go.

Betsy
October 3, 2024

Anonymous (paraphrase): I had a very intense experience with a woman half way across the globe from where I live. It all happened in a magical way. I had published a short article on being still. A number of readers responded back to me with feedback and I aknowledged all of them. However one woman has made such a deep connection with me something of the kind has never happened to me. What I need to do is to stay with the connection and flow with the energy.

I understand your desire to stay with that connection, it comes from deep within. You want to know how to make it a permanent feeling. I guess your article when you wrote it had some elements of light within it, meaning it came from your heart not your mind. This I guess because you got a good feedback response, light responds back to light, even one doesn't know one is doing it. Light passes through the barrier of personality, the defensive part of self that is the interface that normally prevents such exchange. This is because pure light is finer, less dense, hardly has any mass, and is like invisible, it just goes through. This connection you seek is there within you always and right now -- it has nothing to do with the woman, although it's easy to presume this. I had a similar experience years ago and attributed it to that person. the truth is, it was you ready to rise, you awakening, you already shining, (as is evident to me because you wrote that article), and she simply triggered that response in you, by responding to light in kind. Your light -> her light -> your light rose higher.

To get this feeling back, you only need to continue to do the work you have been doing that has gotten you the result you have so far. The most effective is to keep practicing being the observer as much as possible (re: meditation skills), do this twice daily, the more you practice like this, the stronger you will get, the more awareness you are, the less dense personality. It needs quiet dedicated time, two hours per day; it's not enough to do only things like Power of Now (PON), as Eckhardt Tolle explains. For most people their awareness is simply not high enough to be able to observe themselves objectively while personality is activated, which is normal daily life mode. The best is to do both, sitting sessions with full focus on meditation skills, and also do PON techniques during the day time. in this way, you will hone your skills, and your inside will respond, you will slowly rise and get that feeling back.

Anonymous (paraphrase): I would like to know if u can throw some light on this phenomenon - our ability to connect energetically from a distance?

We can connect energetically because the truth is there is no distance between us, we are all connected 'physically', and we are one. The best way I can describe it is it's like we are all fish living in the ocean, when one fish moves, all feel the vibration of that movement. There is actually a web all around us, that connects one to the other, call it dark energy or dark matter, physics knows it's there and works to explain it and understand it better. When one object moves, all the objects in the universe move with it. Theoretically, one can reach to the sun, Pluto and even other solar systems.

Then there is created and creator. The matter is created (past, objects, form) and what creates the matter is creator (present moment, observer, light, unformed, inspiration), Creation happens with simple decision, you put your focus into a particular area, then move and put your energy into that intention/activity. What you focus on, you create. It should be said if you are still mostly driven by ego, what you will create will also be ‘materialistic’ in nature. (Be careful, this is a seductive ego game to fall into, that of wielding power to create things, such as in magic or The Secret, Creative Visualization and the like, one can be entertained with this ability one’s whole life. If one chooses this path, one will pay a huge price. One will have all kinds of material things, but at the expense of having no growth in evolution or spiritual advancement for one’s entire life.) Know, you are both of that, what is created is what you can observe of yourself (all past tense), and who is observing all that is the creator, which has no inherent form, it is pure consciousness, pure light. This is your eternal aspect that can never be destroyed.

You connect energetically at a distance by: setting your focus onto the object you want to connect with (visualize the person with a unique identifier) you hold this focus until you feel the connection, it's like two scalar waves (see link below), deciding to synch up with each other. When the synchronization happens, it feels like a push/pull, I describe it as a bellows, your energy comes towards my energy, my energy mixes with yours, then this goes back the other way to you and mixes with yours and comes back to me, etc. I feel this push-pull sensation during my entire distant healing session.

I do this often with my distant healing, and am able to do it well, because my light is strong, I can be 'as bliss' with a simple decision, coming out of 1,000's of hours of sitting meditation and reiki practice over the years. When I am as light (my awareness is high, I'm in observer mode), then it's like traveling as light on that invisible web that connects us all. I am as the creator I feel simply as a point of light, and can put my focus anywhere into the universe, but at the moment I need a point of reference (so something known, like a person). I haven't tried to put my focus into other places outside of earth, but it’s interesting to think about it.

In short, your ability to actually do this, will get better as you are more aware. If your are interested to know all this (your intention with this question) is so that you can try connecting long distance with that woman to get that feeling again... then that desire comes out of ego-mind, and you better drop it. A better intention would be to learn how to bring out your own light, as you do so, then desires like this will be seen clearly (by light) as ego driven and you will drop them.

There is a new term and science that works to explain this, called scalar energy, a person made some videos about it at this link. I think it was the last video that talks most about scalar energy:

Anonymous (paraphrase): Everything happening is very real yet there is an underlying dismay about the process. Can you throw some light?

Quit attaching to experiences and thinking about them and trying to understand them, and trying to come up with a way to make them happen again. Trying to do this is all ego-mind being in the driver's seat. Look closer at yourself, to see for yourself this is truth.

The dismay comes from activated ego. Know that to be truth. Attaching to experiences and thinking of ways to repeat them, is the mode of busy mind, activated ego/personality. Know that.

Now to get more light is an easy solution, the hard part is you have to want to make the decision: the alternative to activated personality (ego mode) is simply to reset your focus to turn it off, re: go into meditative mode, as in PON techniques, = shut up - get quiet, quit thinking. Practice this often, find different ways that work, do your twice daily sitting meditation, the more you practice the better you will get at it.

Now, we normally don't want to truly stop this old habit, because we get something out of it, which is very precious to us. Activated ego with it's mind chatter and emotional energy charge (emoting) is what we get out of it, and this feeling of strong emotion generated in body from the mind-emotion internal operation, gives us 'the feeling we are alive'. (But this is a lie, that is not the real us, it's the ghostly pretender...) To let that 'old way we are used to being' go, feels to us like death, to fall into that empty void of no longer having that entertaining busy mind-chatter and emoting, feels like we have nothing to hang on to. It is so foreign, we are not used to being 'totally quiet', and we even don't know what might replace all that mind chatter. It’s an unknown space, it's going into a new frontier, into the unknown. The ego-mind then asks, how will I think? how will I be without this? The ego-mind wants to always have something 'to hang onto', a new concept, a new way to pretend, to keep the old game going. Rarely does it ever consider dropping the container the main cause: The thinking process itself, rather it will invent something else to keep the old chatter going on unchecked. Ego-mind never wants to totally let go, because if one does that, then ego-mind mode starts to dissolve, as BEING ARISES. Scary, the firs time this happens. So mind chatter and emoting is also a kind of entertainment, a way to keep one’s energy low, dense and solid as blind formed personality. For sure engaging with this old habit, gives us something back, or we wouldn't use our precious energy in that way. We need to see clear what we get out of it, and what happens when we do it vs. not do it, only after we see this clear are we able to make a clear decision to drop it. When we look close we will see doing this old habit always gives us trouble, unhappiness, negative emotions, harm to self and others, nothing good ever comes out of it. Then we will be ready to let it go.

Okay, so know this: who you are always IS, you can never disappear or die, death = TRANSFORMATION. look back as far as you can remember in your history, maybe you recall a past life or two, maybe not, but if you do, then it should be clear, you are there to remember it. You are always there as the observer no matter what happens on the outside or to your form. you are the rock in the middle of the chaos. YOU ARE ETERNAL, There will always be you there to observe no matter what. Hang onto that, this is where true security comes from, knowing that for sure to be truth.

When one thing dies, another thing takes it's place. it is not like ego is here then in an instant full awareness is here, it is rather a SLOW GROWING PROCESS. If you are working effectively with spiritual techniques then what happens is each day, ego is less and being is more. It is like what you let go of old way of ego, (what you drop), is freed energy from form, which is returned as free awareness to being. This is what TRANSFORMATION means. Too many mystics have reported one just wakes up fully and instantly, and so many egos are confused about that. it's a process, this is one of the main things I work on clearing up, in my articles and future books (if I ever finish them...)

Anonymous’ Stillness Article (paraphrase): The unspoken question is how one can be still or attain this stillness with nature in a turbulent world? The answer is that there is no quick fix solution, but one can start by going back to nature, being in it and observing and listening.

The crux of this problem is one simply has not the ability to do pure direct simple observation. One thinks one can observe ‘nature’ when the fact is, one can’t. This is the big lie we tell ourselves, we think we can observe. One can’t even look at a tree for more than a second or so, the mind always starts up and adds its point of view, and this is what makes us blind. If one could simple gaze for longer extended period of time, then you would see amazing new world leap out and open up: vivid colors, connectivity between
all moving things, things you never noticed before, that tree would look more alive than you had ever seen, the bark is moving, it is undulating, etc., and you would feel great because in that moment the real you IS.

At one’s current state of evolution, one can’t tell CLEARLY the difference between simple gazing pure observation and observing through the mind-interface. this is the step you now are on, to be able to tell the difference. Dig into this question, practice more. When there is not the ability to observe one’s internal thinking & emoting one is doing,
one can’t see the veil that is in place, as unchecked thinking & emoting is the VEIL. There is no distance between the created and the creator, thus no possibility to observe.
This is why all the mystics say the most important question is ‘Who Am I?’ or Know Thyself, or Look Within, it by gaining self knowledge (knowing what is the blindness), that then subsequently opens up the world to pure sight. This one keeps asking until one SEES the truth oneself.

Betsy
June 12, 2024

Question: Both philosophically & spiritually, is it possible our eyes deceive us?

Answer: Deception happens from the mind not the eyes. Like another said: the eyes are neutral, providing data. What happens is people think they are seeing, but what they are actually doing is engaging in a kind of internal dialog with the raw data they have received through their senses. It's a lot like the dreaming which happens in the night. We engage in thinking and generate feelings according to that from the images, and weave a story around all that we view in the recorded images. We have great capability to recall recorded images from our extensive memory banks, and what we do that deceives us is interact with these memories, like it's real time, but in fact, all is just memory and all is in the past.

This activity of being engaged processing the raw data, and coming to conclusions about it via our cognitive processes, is also what makes us blind to what is going on right now. This is because our attention is withdrawn from the outside world and turned inside, to process all that data in this way. The deception happens here, in weaving the story and making our conclusions, judgments, etc., which we do with our thinking. The more we believe what we think is true and that our conclusions are truth, the more we are deceived. The more emotion we can generate with the undertone of our thoughts the more it feels 'real', thus we fool ourselves that how we see it (the interpreted viewpoint) is in fact reality, when in reality it's only a figment of our imagination.

I wrote a poem which says the same in fewer words: Lost in Inside World

Betsy

‘Moving as Being’ Standing Meditation
“Letting Go of conscious control of one’s body”

I recommend doing this meditation after ‘spiritual awakening’ as it allows you to practice ‘moving as being’, or letting go of moving yourself using voluntary control of body muscles using one’s mind. If you have not experienced a spiritual awakening yet, don’t let that stop you, if you are drawn to try it – go ahead – one must first and foremost follow one’s heart. Given how this technique is primarily a meditation and is done standing, it is thus powerful and will benefit anyone if they do it. All by itself, it is a powerful meditation, and can further your healing and spiritual awakening process.

The transformation healing process of human beings, is an evolutionary one and we are all within it at different stages, whether it is at level of pre-awakening, spiritual awakening or kundalini transformation, the process has at it’s root that of changing one’s body and mind (nervous system) away from a duality nervous system (split body, left/right brain, reflected world) response to ultimately one of spontaneous, unified, non-reflected and direct reaction to one’s environment. These changes in the body happen gradually over time and by themselves every time when one enters the state of no-mind or deep meditation, as when energy is withdrawn from the brain (one is not using it), it is only then that changes to the organization of the brain itself can be done. These episodes of no-mind activity can happen in other ways besides that of deliberate meditation or spiritual practices. They can happen in a trauma, a shock, by looking at extreme beauty or nature as well as meditation - what they all have in common is a sudden onset of forgetting oneself totally; one’s mind goes totally quiet. In this space one is changed.

To read the full article click here

Betsy

Comment: What is personality? Is personality an illusion?
Dialog with Betsy & BeiYin

Betsy: personality is due to the organization of the current human brain/body, so it produces an inside reflected view or inner sensing of all that we encounter through our senses. We say its illusion because we come to find out that what is reflected inside, we identify with as ourselves, as 'me' and eventually come to find out that this reflection is not us, but rather due to internal mirroring neurons, or sensing capabilities of the brain. At this moment, then this structure of organization of our brains, has served its purpose, to encounter our true essence or the creator of the reflected image. At this point of self-knowledge then can come the breaking down and reorganization of this structure in the brain's nervous system - to eliminate the reflecting organization of the brain, but this rewiring only happens by a process of non-doing, with needs no intention by you, this non-doing is time spent in the state of meditation. The doing is done by making avail of the energy you were holding in 'static form of personality' (conditioned aspects) and transforming it into a new structure, which results in a healing or metamorphosis or reorganization of the mirror into direct sensing and response.

BeiYin: The tendency to survive is inbuilt for all animals. In humans, we see this instinct morphing in complexity, as one uses one’s mind to conjure up infinitely varied ways to defend one’s system.

Betsy: yes, the problem being humans are identified with the nervous system structure itself, which holds patterns of using energy in certain ways, with the old habit to try to survive and keep oneself intact. Thus one holds energy in certain forms, mostly due to beliefs, and finds other ways to do the same when old ways no longer work. The only way out of this game is to spend time in non-doing (deep meditation) with no concept. You will know if it's working, if you are doing non-doing right, if you are healing/changing in profound ways, which can't be pretended or imagined.

BeiYin: 'Personality' starts when consciousness is developed enough that the individual is self aware and this probably starts with the development of senses and their reflection caused by reactions of the system, then realized as body sensations, emotions and thoughts. In this phase there exists no observer separated from the observed, the consciousness exists only through reactions within the system and - there is a total identification with these reactions. Reactions are felt as "I" and out of this the individual gains one's feeling of existence, being limited to body sensations, emotions and thoughts - forming one's 'personality'.

Betsy: good description of how it comes about. I would add that how one feels oneself as "I" is appropriate for that person’s state of evolution. So one feels as me whether one is identified with one's reflection of not, one is always 'me' having a journey and each day one is different - so that's the constant factor. What is missing here is that one's body organization limits what what can receive. So when one is sick, then one notices one's awareness is reduced and might then trip on a wire around a pallet. The lower one's awareness the less one can receive, and the harder it is to be meditative. The idea that one can access being while in body without being limited by the health of energy flows going through is false. One’s body reflects one's realization, as it is with all forms, energy=matter and matter= energy. People think they can miraculously heal without having to go through pain as the tissues change and to do something to get it done, that is
until they actually go through the healing process, and then realize that body is part of their reality.

BeiYin: Being aware of one's existence is the beginning of consciousness in a 'higher life form', but of course this doesn't mean that evolution ends here. It is a beginning, although still primitive, like we are observing on planet Earth, where very few humans are capable to go beyond this basic step.

Betsy: being aware of one's existence is probably the biggest trap that keeps humans from taking further steps in evolution. They think they've arrived, and there is nothing more to do. Many people have taken this basic step, but not too many go further that it. There are levels to one's ability to be aware in daily life. So one decides to be aware in a moment where one feels awareness is more necessary or prudent to do. Then one starts to meditate. The longer one stays like this' just being aware', and then one's bodily vibration rises. As long as one can hold like this, then the vibration will keep accelerating. The higher the vibration, the more one can see/receive and the more spontaneous/intuitive one can respond to whatever one needs to. Because one can do this at will, then one feels that one is aware, and why one gets confirmation and also why one doesn't feel a need to do more. Yet what one doesn’t know is that there are levels above one's current capability.

BeiYin: planet Earth is still in it's beginning of evolution of consciousness, there is no doubt when one looks at the reality of humanity: War, fighting all over the planet, growing of systems by swallowing others, many millions of humans are starving and suffering not even having the minimum means to survive, while others live in abundance on the costs of others. Then there are millions with 'incurable' diseases, because the established systems are purely materialistic, representing the still primitive state of consciousness. To say it clearly: 'Personality' is NOT something bad or negative, it is a step in evolution, although it seems that humanity is stuck on this step and has difficulties to progress, what could have as a result that humanity is destroying itself - many signs point to this.

Betsy: it all depends on how you want to look at it, is the cup 1/2 full or 1/2 empty? As an old form breaks down, then it starts to crack and weaken and one can see this as what's happening all over the planet from all sides, of environment, weather, people, resources, etc. I think the majority of people have big egos today, having accumulated enough energy in form through experiences. So saying, they are rigid and full of energy in static form which is what makes a big ego, thus they have sufficient energy 'stored' to fuel the transformation into being or wellness and the possibility that it is released in parts comes more near the worse it gets physically outside. So I see all as well, a part of nature and to be expected.

BeiYin: But as all systems have the inbuilt urge to survive, the same with the systems on a more complex level, so the planet Earth might defend itself, supported by the next higher system the 'Sun'.


Betsy: you are right the earth will react, but also I see it not so distinct. What I see are periods of repeating growing cycles on earth, as can be seen from evidence of previous ice ages. So when reaching the end of a cycle, then there is the highest evolutionary form, which is stressed to transform, which is human. The sun also as it ages is increasing it's frequency or pulse over time, so all forms are being subject to higher vibrations, which also serve to shake us up more and make us sick. We either go with the flow or resist, so the choice is ours in the end.

BeiYin: What happens when the human system gets stuck on the step of having build up one's 'personality' - even up to a highly sophisticated state?

Betsy: when one is stuck, then one won't survive, one will get sicker, until one is forced to look at it and recognize the reality, that one is not transforming, but rather holding onto keeping oneself as one sees oneself. There’s not much you can do about somebody being stuck in high sophistication, just let nature take it's course. When they get sick enough, then that's the opportunity for them to take a closer look, if they can't do that then they will have to wait to the next lifetime and have another round of experiences. All is good.

BeiYin: Then the inbuilt tendency shows up and this is the longing and urge to overcome limitations and boundaries. If this need in one's growing process is suppressed by the other tendency of the system to hold oneself together, then the stuck system is cracked up by happenings from the outside and/or from the inside like disease on one or more levels: Body, emotions and mind. If these are treated with chemicals, then there can't be any 'healing' (which is a natural part of the evolutionary growing process), but by treating only the material aspects the system stays stuck and can only be 'cracked' by
its death.

Betsy: right, I think I said that above in other words. I see the disease itself as part of the healing process, so all treatments that we try to do to 'heal ourselves' interfere with the higher wisdom of the bodies way to heal itself. To distinguish states in body of health versus being sick is hard to define, I see all as one process. Sickness / symptoms are signs of healing and should not be interfered with. So to not interfere is as simple as being meditative as much as possible, trusting this is enough and allowing one's healer 'time' to do what is necessary. Yet, simply doing a non-doing for humans to heal themselves is nearly an impossible request. If they've advanced far enough then they want to take credit for having healed themselves, and do all kinds of treatments, supplements, exercises, etc. then when they get a result, they say: I did it, all is vanity for humans. Probably all the treatments were unnecessary, just for confirmation, and the actual healing if it happened was due to having spent enough time spend in meditation, nothing more. Okay, all treatments if better than one's normal operating state will rise one's energy, so they can all help 'our healer' do it's job. But the most effective way to rise one's energy is simply to do effective meditation

BeiYin: In one's individual growing process there might come the moment when the 'personality' has grown to such an extent that all gained and collected properties don’t give satisfaction anymore. After turning around oneself again and again, the question might arise, what is the sense of all this? Also it might happen, that wishes and desires are not being fulfilled because of daily reality and then frustration is accumulating up to the moment when emotional reactions are causing disease: Depression, stress and distortion.

Betsy: then one realizes that one is doing all these things, and one still feels lousy, one is not getting better doing things in the way one is used to doing them. At that moment one simply gives up trying and when one does, one goes quiet, and it is s just this 'surrender' that starts or restarts the healing process. For example, cancer can be a wake up call, to ‘give up’; when one's physical life is truly threatened.

BeiYin: The strong 'personality' is shattered and comes near to collapse. But as there were many different concepts integrated in one’s personality, so also those of 'spirituality' with images of worlds beyond daily reality. This will be the moment when the individual needs those concepts to survive and it might serve and help for some more time.

Betsy: Energy held in form as personality is very complex and has many layers built up over many lifetimes. One can't release it all at once, it is released bit by bit, and each time a bit is released it's converted into a small part of new nervous system. Thus it's a biological process and happens as metamorphosis' the old energy taken from previously being held in form, being used to build the new form. Releasing of personality also echoes the healing process, it happens in reverse order of how things were accumulated, the newest thing you added on, or the last disease you see is healed first, and so it goes down to the deepest level of cause. The more one heals, the deeper levels one can heal, and as higher levels of vibration in body are needed to heal deeper aspects such as are buried in fetal imprinting, bone alignment and DNA inherited/ancestral aspects. One can't let go of oneself/clinging totally all at once; one has to slowly let go of all that previously defined oneself, bit by bit. Physiologically it's impossible, your nervous system can't transform that fast. The process will stop whenever one won't let go of a belief, and one can go into reverse awareness and reverse health, if one won't let one's body heal/transform. So if one is playing a mind game with oneself, a sure sign is that one's health is not improving, one's awareness is not rising. The body doesn't lie (one's realized aspect), but listening to what we tell ourselves, is certainly not to be trusted.

BeiYin: Given how one’s realization exists conceptually, this image can't fill the upcoming void. The disturbed individual tries all kind of techniques to gain back one's balance: Meditation, Sun gazing, yoga, Tai Chi, psychotherapy, prayer, etc. And in fact it helps: The rigid structure of personality is loosening up, is melting into new and unknown fields of being. Irrational influences find their way into the individual’s perception, like intuition and self-expression, which has as source something not existing in one’s personality.

Betsy: meditation can be done to try to gain something or not. If one is not done trying to gain for oneself, then all is used to keep one intact. But doing these kinds of things, it can certainly back-fire, so good... either way, when one gains insight into ways one is staying the same, then these are what allow one to take further steps, to not do that anymore and then be open to find out another way 'one is fooling oneself'. Confirmation one is on the right track eventually comes in a different form, beyond anything one can think of, it's direct and quite amazing.

BeiYin: Slowly the measurements of values are changing. What seemed to be important before is less significant and is not needed anymore to give satisfaction, because new more subtle possibilities are discovered.

Betsy: as we change our whole perspective changes, each time we change this happens and we slowly get used to a life where daily change becomes part of our reality. Living is then a joy, as one isn't clinging to judgments, problems and negativity, one is healthy, free from pain and resistance to what is, and enjoys life tremendously. I speak of a state of full healing, of which I am not there yet, but each day I see I am less reactive,
happier and enjoy simple things more.

BeiYin: Before, there has never existed real 'openness' because the person had allowed only influences that gave self-confirmation and enriched one’s established self-image. But now there is an opening of the system and one is open to receive even unknown influences. The individual starts to be capable to observe one's reactions and is not that much identified with them, with this being able to discover where the reactions are coming from and what has caused them. This then gives them possibility to make decisions, recognizing that their old behavior is worn out and belonging to the history of their personality. At this point, the horizon of awareness widens and separating boundaries are melting away. One might have the first time experience that ‘real communication' is possible because there is less need to defend one's mental and emotional property.

Betsy: yes, but still it's a long process, and there will be much tears and pain along the way, to come to a point of experiencing this daily, thus also why so many quit doing it. People have their memories of times like this and feeling the exhilaration so it's like a beacon in the dark, to wonder how come they don't feel like that all the time or today? When they realize they are indeed dark rather than light most of the time, then they come back to doing what worked in the beginning to get results. Giving up habits is hard to do, and it takes many efforts to set new ones. But mostly people don't heal because they are pain avoidant. Pain itself is the sign that one is healing, and exactly that which people want to eliminate. To continue to heal one needs to accept pain and know it to be part of the healing process, then one is not resistant to change and can learn to not identify with ‘this feeling’ of healing as negative and thus create the ideal conditions for accelerated healing.


BeiYin: All this is due to the fact that 'personality' (the illusion of existence through being identified with one's reactions and one's properties), is fading away and is being transformed into a kind of existence, which is independent of one’s body, one's emotions and one's mind. Yes, this is in fact possible, and it’s not like before where being-ness only existed through concepts, dreams, images and ideas.


Betsy: one illusion is replaced with another illusion. While in body there is no existence independent of one's body, the two are one. When you look at a cat, you know its nature, the same as with a rock. Humans are no different, if one is aware one can see it in the face/body, and there are different levels of awareness in bodies. When you let go on clinging, energy is released, this energy rises your awareness rises, your body changes, as your body changes, your senses change, as your senses change, you can sense more/differently, your awareness rises, your perception changes.

Question: How can there exist something when I'm not able to experience it with my senses and being able to understand it using the capacity of my mind? Whatever there might exist, it doesn't exist for me as long as there is no proof.


Betsy: You don't need proof of some 'phantom' god-like image like this, as its illusion anyway; energy needs matter to transport itself. You will get direct proof by healing, by seeing your body heal, and by noticing your perceptive abilities expand/change, intuition will pick up, what you can sense will be more fine, etc.

BeiYin: Talking about all this doesn’t have much practical sense because whatever is said or written, will go into the pool of one’s concepts and knowing, or if it is unknown it will be rejected using one's arsenal of arguments. So what might be a creative way to point out the same in a way that can be more widely received?

Betsy: Written information gives possibilities or other horizons, so it can raise questions in the reader and make them wonder. Yet, we know that while identified with one’s thinking, then all concepts and ideas are collected as ‘more knowledge’, which serves to strengthen the existing state: being identified with mind and personality – or of one’s reactive self. With that said, I think the only way is for people to prove it to themselves, which needs action and a good way to measure the effect of their action. I would suggest people start by doing the meditation or healing method of one’s choice twice per day, as we know this is the main way that ‘steps in awareness’ have been achieved. , But it would be really helpful if we could measure changes to the system with scientific instruments, which would take the guess work or ‘fooling oneself aspect’ out of the equation. As it is there are many who have meditated daily for many years, and are still stuck in their identification with reactive aspects of themselves, so it should be a warning that even meditation can be used to give self-confirmation for oneself. It is amazing to see that today, many who have awakened are still stuck with being identified with their self-image, and mostly this is because they have adopted a grander spiritual image. Yet, there is a known fact, that as awareness goes up, one’s bodily vibration also goes up, as one becomes less dense as matter and grows towards an energy body with an expanded and finer nervous system. To keep people on track, a simple tool that could measure muscle charge or known brain wave patterns that indicate increased vibration, would be a great feedback tool to let people know their meditation is being done effectively and they are doing it right.

Comment: "An area of my ongoing 'work' is to watch my reactions to the happenings that come my way. There are never ending opportunities to be alert and especially so in relationships. To reduce unnecessary suffering to oneself and others, one must be aware of one's habit to add 'mental stories' to explain away what is happening. It seems so hard to stay close to the unfolding life, in the present moment. It seems there is an irritation with 'what is' happening, we want to fight it, and it arises because we want/expect things to be different! It seems the best we can do is to accept it ain't going to be how we want it, then to drop our story telling habit - and this is all one can do and needs to do to go beyond it."

It is a good ability to be able to see one's own story-telling mode when it arises - it takes a lot of awareness to see it, to know it's happening when it does and to recognize it. It takes even more awareness to be able to truly let it go and drop it because one has to be willing to not want to do it. I also agree with you that relationships provide such a fertile growing opportunity, and especially when there is conflict. I grew a lot from such a situation a few years ago. (I'm not saying you have conflict...)

I remember questioning the phenomena of 'story-mode' itself as a whole, I wrote a sequence of articles on it, Why these persistent internal dialogs? (These articles are on my website). What was interesting to me, is I knew this talking was nonsense and defensive as I could see that when I looked at the content, it was totally ridiculous stuff and often not very nice to myself or others.

Also I noticed that when it went on too long unchecked, then it would effect my emotional state, stress built up, I would get all wound up, likely would get sick and then was more likely to react at anything with all the force of the built up energy - with my ego. I saw it later as me allowing personality to activate - to get strong, and then after this would happen, there was nothing more to do, then do more meditations and wait until this state de-energized. Depending on how far I let it go on, it could take from 3 days to a week to de-energize. So I am sure you know all this too, having observed it.

For me I was doing the same, noticing it and setting it aside, and thinking it was enough if I just did this, yet doing this often it still wasn't changing, it was still happening - so persistent. I could even go to sleep at night after meditation and wake up in the morning, talking away. So curious how it was, like it had a wheel of it's own, driving all by itself. I felt I needed to know something else about it in a more general sense to be able to get a stronger control over it. Why did I still do this - get sucked in - even though I knew the harm it caused me and others when I did it, it all reduced to the question of:

"What benefit do 'I' get out of it by doing it?"

I realized that one does a habit or behaves in a way, because by doing so, one gets something out of it. To drop a habit, we have to know what we get out of it by doing it, and only then when we see that, will we be ready to make a clear decision to be able to drop being in that way. One adopts a habit at a point in one's life, because it was helpful for oneself at the time one adopted it. The habit we are talking about is one that has been with humans for a long, long, time, so also why it's so hard to change/transmute/drop.

To change any habit, one must see clear what benefit it gives you to do it. Once one sees the benefit one gets - one can only 'observe this' while/when it happens to receive this understanding, it can't be understood intellectually - then one will have a new 'self-knowledge' about one's conditioned habit/aspect in a general way - what we call an 'aha' or leap in understanding.

Once we have that piece of information, then our willingness to drop it will increase and as we practice doing that more, then also we start to spend progressively more time in quiet than in talking, and our perception and ability to be present will be enhanced along with our doing this. Our growing awareness will start to pick up significantly after that - as moments of quiet time increases...

Hint: One must be willing to enter into a totally unknown, still and quiet field of being. At first this is very scary, because one has never encountered it before or been like this before, so being unknown it will take much courage to enter into this darkness.

Betsy

Question: I am wondering how others have experienced, dealt with and resolved issues that have arisen with kundalini energies in the lower back and any pain and complications resulting from it. I have developed a very distinct knot of energy, tension and pain in my lower back surrounding my sacrum. I am aware of it even when I am sleeping, stretching has done little to ease or release this tension. The other thing that is remarkably helpful is when someone places their palm over the base of my spine, it's profoundly comforting, and actually triggers a change in consciousness for me. I'm contemplating massage and or reiki because of this - but am concerned and curious about other's experiences of this.


Answer:
I have experienced a knot of tension that you relate in sacrum area, and the way I resolved it was to do a standing meditation, then when meditative, to let go of my body and allow it to 'fold' or move by itself. This practice occurred to me early on, because I realized that 'being' was taking over. So then I decided to give an hour or two each day, to allow that to happen, trusting, that I could be moved like this. It started slow at first, not much movement, but as my nervous system changed, then each day it became more. So saying, eventually I was dropping into squat positions with a huge force of energy doing it, like it was melting into the muscles, flooding them with hot energy, which would then act to open the hips more and more each time. There was much pressure on the sacrum, and I have a congenital defect in the right hip, so for me it was very painful and hard to go through. What I can see happened 'with hindsight' is the fused bones of sacrum to hip girdle, unfused. This happened over many months of sessions. Then later the fused bones (or nearly fused bones) of all bones in my skull, unfused, with other kinds of spontaneous stretches. Later I concluded that the majority of energy of the transforming person, held as personality, is grown into and held in place by the bony structure that formed as one grew into adulthood. Thus to release this energy, the skeleton must separate again, and the places that are most important to be loosened are those bones, which directly attach to the central nervous system: skull bones, shoulder girdle, spine, sacrum, hip girdle. These stretches were never about trying to accomplish anything on my part, I just let my body go, and over time the transformation process happened. First thing was the hips were opened in various poses and stretches. Each time the tension would release and I would think, great, that's over, I would feel a huge release of energy coming out of the opened body part, and a big rush in freed energy, with all kinds of interesting symptoms. I would think great, that's behind me, but then in a little time, tension would build up again and I would have to start all over again. And so it goes on like this for many years, yet there is always progress, I become stretchy and elastic through all the bones of the body, including the vertebrae in neck, shoulder's and skull. So as I see it, it's a growing process, and one is opened a micron at a time, then the CNS changes, then it manifests physically as changed body posture. It's like the process is transforming old energy to new, and the old energy is held bent in lop-sided skeletal form, each time I am straighter, and also more energetic, the vibration rises each day.

I formed a word for it at the time, trying to explain it to myself. I called this bent loop of energy through the body, the cord of personality. When it first started it was like working in the hips for weeks on end, then it progressed later on to working in the shoulders for weeks. I thought, okay, it's nearly done, next is the skull and it's over. But then to my surprise it started all over again in the hips, then with less time, it moved up again to the shoulders. Then I thought, okay it needs 3 passes, like all things, which change. After the 3rd pass through, I was hoping it was done. No... It started over again. Then I noticed each time was less time between passes from tail up to skull. Today, it is one continuous movement of work, there is no gap and hardly ever separate work on body portions, the hips, shoulders, spine and skull bones all adjust in one long full-body spontaneous stretch. So this cord is like energy, it is the personality expressed in the way the body / personality has learned to be and develop, which by definition of personality is conditioned. So to be as being, one must transform this old conditioned energetic cord to a non-conditioned, free-flowing and balanced one, and this is not done by 'you' and figuring out how to do it or what you might need to do, but rather by 'YOU' as you allow it to happen. So the more you give/surrender and allow YOU to do what it needs to do, the less there is of ‘you’ and the more ‘you’ are ‘YOU”, so you change more the more you let go. It doesn't need your help, just your willingness to let go and be open to be guided.

Next you asked why’ laying on of hands’ on sacrum causes your consciousness to rise and tension is released. I think it's because when one gets more energy, it's actually easier, because the more energy you have the more awareness, it's like it encourages 'being to take over', then the change needed to be made, can only be done in this state. The tailbone/sacrum is the root of the spine, and it is where energy builds up, in a gyration fashion. So applying hands to this area (and also raising sexual energy, re: orgasm), causes energy to circle in pelvic bowl, thus it’s like building up a circular force, then this high energy is sent up the spine and energizes the whole nervous system. To make a change in any part of the system, there has to also be made a corresponding change in the skull/brain, and to change the brain/skull it needs a very high level of physical vibration to do it. So the body is one whole, like each microcosm of the body is a circle thru body and has a pathway through the brain for that body part. There are millions of these pathways. When energy rises in the Tailbone area, then it's sent up the spine, and this extra boost in energy is then enough to 'alter consciousness' (to make the voice go quiet), to change what is needed in the brain in that interval of quiet withdrawn energy, (to complete the circuit), then next a new instruction or signal of the change is sent back down into the body to make the physical change of the area that's in tension (being worked on to transform it). Okay, so this tension will resolve on it's own without you doing anything, probably when you go into deep sleep at night, when you surrender control of thinking. Yet, these periods of sleep are not that much time to do all that's needed to be done, so if one doesn't do more surrender sessions during the day, then I guess this process could go on much longer, and one might not be able to finish it even in a single life time.

In my kundalini awakening and transformation process I have used Reiki and acupressure nearly every day. The first time I used Reiki for self-healing I fell in love with it because it rose my energy so significantly, I knew that was what I needed – more energy. As I see it, it's not really reiki, which is the source of the strong energy; rather it's your own power that is this source. What generates so much energy is actually the 'laying on of hands' technique rather than the reiki symbols. I think that Reiki is simply a technique to entrain one's own resonance to a specific frequency, which is helpful to accelerate healing. No matter what technique you use, it's always your own energy signature or self that is doing the healing/change. Reiki is misunderstood this way; people think they are channeling extrernal energy. I don't see this is in fact true. When one puts one's own hands on oneself, it raises one's own energy/being; it’s like self-entrainment (this is another topic). Thus the possibility of being meditative or in quiet mind states increases as one's own energy rises, and the effectiveness of making transformative changes increases in that kind of setting.

Betsy

Keywords: kundalini, pain in sacrum, tension, laying on of hands, reiki, transformation, skull sutures, sacrum suture, standing meditation, moving as awareness, hip, shoulder, skull bones, spontaneous stretch, spontaneous movement

A Message to All People who have realized authentic steps in Awareness:

[Skipping detail of previously realized steps of awareness.]

10. (arbitrary number) After having recognized one's essential self and having studied ones reactive self, unpeeling the layers of conditioning, and dropping concepts, beliefs, etc, from doing a regular meditation practice and studying various spiritual texts, and having conversations with other spiritual people. Then one comes to a place where one feels one knows all there is to know about it, and then one becomes a 'teacher' of what one has learned. it is often the case then that when one encounters another that one looks very near to see how the other is stuck, what concept might be impeding them, and then one responds back in a creative way to try to tell the other what they can't see in themselves. This is the step of becoming a teacher, one gets value from being it, thus one is identified with it. by being like this, then what happens is one is insulated from being able to look at oneself anymore. It's all about critiquing the other, seeing where others need help. The intention is good, to help others realize, yet the problem is the one doing it, stops growing because attention is now outward. Many people are happy with this realization level, because the rewards that come back with healing and teaching others gives it's own kind of confirmation. To go beyond this step, one must realize one is doing this, and then turn back to oneself and go back to basics, with the intention to further deconstruct the deconstructor (of others. This step is the glass ceiling that today, keeps so many spiritual people from reaching further steps.

11. The next realization comes, as one becomes acutely aware of one's internal dialog and judgments about all kinds of things. One starts to realize this voice is going on all the time, it rarely ever stops. Even after years of meditation, where one believed one was being quiet in mind, one starts to see that this wasn't so, it was only what one told oneself. One's awareness is increasing, so also one's ability to see the dialog, the internal noise, becomes greater. Being aware of the non-cessant chatter, then one starts to get more serious in one's ability to turn it off, in meditation and in daily life.

12. the next realization is that of the story-teller, of of what one is telling oneself is truth and one's tendency to believe what one tells oneself is truthful reality. One's own perspective, interpretation, or viewpoint is what one believes is truth. One starts to realize everyone is doing this, so the reality is that hardly anyone is really there and present. Everyone is in their own world, the world of the dreamer. when one sees one's own dream, how one's story telling affects oneself, and how one reacts to it as truth, then one is ready to drop it.

13. After realizing the story teller, then one realizes that everything one repeats to oneself - consciousness becoming visible as thought - what one can see, is only 'one's momentary take' or one's interpretation, all of which comes out of one's past, as a reaction to happenings. One sees clearly in this step why one can never know anything, what one knows is in fact, already passé and not truth. It's simply an individual reflection of the truth, one is coloring non-formed reality with one's personal interpretation. This is fine, it's best to know the reality, thus after this you are truly open to receive any kind of information from any individual or from life, which doesn't give you confirmation for those truths you are holding. You become ready and open to drop everything, to just let things pass through you and let them go.

14. After this step above, then you start to wonder anew, what is truth, where is truth then, if it's not here? As you ponder this, it will appear to you again what is truth as it did when you first awakened so many years ago. But this time will be different you will feel it strongly, as your essence arises up. At this time, then you will be done with seeking, you have found your answer, that which you were seeking and there is no point to study any more about it. It is time now to start realizing this truth physically in the world, beyond all concepts.

15. When you start to concentrate on truth and not concepts, then your meditation starts to become really effective. The amounts of time spend in no-mind increase dramatically. It is then that you become aware of the energetic aspects of your personality and how you use the environment to provoke to be able to energize your personality to be able to react. Before you might have understood this intellectually, as a concept, but were not able to see it first hand, as your energy and emotional body gets contorted into the shape of anger or fear, for instance. You start to see that you are pretending in a major way, with all your energy, you are pretending to be alive, because when your wallow in listening to your thoughts and believing in what you heard, then you generate strong emotions in the body, and the reason you do it, is because it gives you the feeling of being alive. I call this step seeing the tricks of the ghost.

16. After you have seen the pretending ghost, then you become even more focused on increasing your energy, to do more meditation, because even though you try to not energize your personality in the way you've seen, it is in fact very difficult to hold one's energy and not react how one has been hard-wired to do it all one's life. You discover that when you have higher awareness, it's easier to do. then you also discover that higher awareness comes from doing more meditation. So at this point, you know what you want to 'be', and to do it, you need to give up more of 'being the little you'. So you increase your meditation efforts from two hours per day to 6 or 10.

17. Sensitivity to energy increases. As you increase your meditation hours, you will be looking very closely at your meditation, because you can distinguish clear between being quiet and being in talking mode, you will start experimenting with various meditation tools, to see what actually works in your meditation to get the effect you want, which is simply total silence. During this period, your sensitivity in growing strongly and you will start to become very sensitive to other energies around you, because your own energy is growing. You will start to see auras, feel energy vortices, feel differences in energy in objects such as rocks and crystals. Your intuition will be increasing and your 3rd eye is opening.

18. As you continue in this way, when your energy is high enough (you have been successful to transform energy held in personality to that of free awareness then it will trigger by itself full kundalini activation, or the physical growing. There are latent DNA instructions in your body for the second growing, but it can't be triggered until there is enough energy to do it. This will result in a full healing and remaking of your entire body, like a reverse aging, as this work transforms the final remnants of personality energy held in your physical bones and body, to that of spontaneous form or free being.

[there are more steps after this, and I'm sure more for myself as well beyond where I'm at today. As a help for you realized ones, I let you know that you are most likely on the first step in this list.]

Betsy

“If we no longer saw the error in others at all but only that which is real, without agendas, programs, or ego would the world literally change in it's expression for us? "Change your mind & you change your world". If so, what are the steps one would take?”

"Learning to see others" beyond the acts and deeds of their egos, is just another way to see the world with one's mind. So you will still see what you want to see, now trading one's old concept for a new one. When one's seeing is being done with one's mind then nothing is real. To see clearly can only be done by gaining knowledge about how one sees, how one’s own object behaves, by seeing how one reacts 'directly' first-hand, by observing in oneself how one receives information, thinks, feels and reacts to stimuli. Then via this process of self-observation (in meditation) of one’s own object, to answer the question: “Who and What am I?”, one will gradually receive the answers in regards to the truth of oneself, and how one actually is.

Changing your mind, by adopting another concept, is not real change; it's more like a rearrangement of the existing pieces into a different configuration, but with no NEW energy input into the equation. New energy comes from insight, from the unknown, from the source itself; it doesn't come from the mind, which is a past-tense construct. Now, one's mind (and ability to reflect & see) will be changed by one’s essential source, all by itself as a physical process when one steps aside from one's mind, when one lets go of being identified with thinking and gets totally quiet. So then one could say, as one's mind physically changes from this process (by one’s non-thinking self), then what comes out of oneself as self-expression by that person, into the world as thoughts, feelings and reactions will be new *sometimes*, and this will cause chain-reaction of change around the world - because there is now a new energy manifest physically.

So in short, if you want to change the world, then learn how to change yourself in an essential way. That way is by doing regular and daily meditation, and letting the change happen to you, without your needing to do anything, meaning all you need to do is to set aside time each day and practice being quiet and just know it will happen when you do that. This process doesn't need your mental help, your doing, your techniques, your beliefs, your concepts or any other thing. If fact, as soon as 'you' come into the picture trying to do something, you are giving energy to the mind and becoming it and getting in the way of the process itself - it’s totally counterproductive.

So the magic here is if you make an essential change in yourself, you will change everybody along with you, and you don't even have to know him or her, as energetically there are no boundaries, we are all connected, we are all ONE.

Betsy

When you're very still and quiet, then observe and notice how there is this nearly constant internal chatter going on -- one is thinking. As one thinks certain things, this generates emotional energy in the muscles of the body according to the 'way YOU feel' about what you are thinking. This thinking and changing one's vibration with an emotional signature is basically - being identified with one's reflection - or with one's personality -- a capability inherent in how our brains are built.

So now all that to see what not-surrendered is. Not surrendered is engaging in the mind-voice, the story telling, thinking, being identified with all that and allowing those feelings to happen.
Surrender, and it's a practice, not a one-time thing, is like meditation, you work to become the still observer, quiet in thinking. So it's much like observe you are thinking, be WILLING to set all
that aside and just sit in silence, it helps to have a focal point, such as feeling your breathing. Then you feel your breath go in and out, and before you know it, seconds actually, the mind-voice has started up again, and you have totally forgotten about feeling your breath (which doesn't require thinking). Then you give yourself a reminder, I don't need to think right now, I’m meditating, and you return to feeling your breath. And so you repeat this for about an hour, good to do it each day and twice a day if possible. This is 'surrender' practice. In a nutshell it's about not engaging in the fun you get out of talking to yourself (internally). I mean we do the story telling, chattering, emoting, because WE GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. What we get out of it is the feeling this is US, that we are alive in this manner. So then you might imagine, it's kind of scary to totally 'shut-up' the first few times, because it's like we don't feel alive if we can't hear that echo of thought going on constantly inside our head.

Betsy