The Me is The Striver

Paintings Fade Like Flowers

“What is not PERMANENT is not worth striving for.” ~ Ramana Maharshi

My Comment: What is NOT permanent is not worth striving for and what IS permanent needs no striving — it already IS. Indeed striving only takes one further away from what is most valuable. But it seems all that striving after goals is necessary to gain experience and realize the unfulfilled desires are endless and not what you really want (the me does not give up easily)… To finally realize striving will never fulfill your deepest desire and then there is no choice left except to stop running, to quit striving, to just give up the entire game.

3 hours Later: And now I can’t sleep and came back to the Internet, struck by the profound statement by Trevor Lightbown: “The striving is the impermanent “me” identity…”‘ I’m still integrating this. So much wisdom in just a few words…

10 hours later: The “me” is the striver, a reflected and visible extension of the consciousness with an inbuilt survival mechanisms to keep it intact. I spent thousands of hours striving after material goals and then gave that up and spent a thousand more hours striving for the goal to enlighten. What have “I” gained from this? Absolutely nothing at all! Now I understand it is just a process of finding out what I am NOT, a piece at a time, and then letting go identity with that piece, having less to identify with and define ME over time. Then, then… realizing there is absolutely nothing to attain, I am already enlightened and have been since the beginning. There is no ME, there is nothing to enlighten — I just AM.

First impression Wow, it took a long time to see the obvious! But also realizing that it could not have happened any other way, as light is not visible if it is not reflected… The “Me” makes light visible.

Second impression What a huge relief! I can finally stop striving and let that ME structure dissolve — I don’t need it anymore!
July 25, 2015

Posted in Self-realization Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
6 comments on “The Me is The Striver
  1. Joseph Hoydilla says:

    Hi Betsy,

    It seems all I want to do is just meditate and live life as simply as possible….Sounds great, but of course I need to pay the bills…

    It seems my kriyas during the last two months have been very subtle. My normal meditation pattern as of late has been to start by sitting…After a while my body gently rocks back on the floor and I make a few movements and stay on the floor for the whole hour. It seems this pattern has been status quo of late.

    Should I continue with my meditation, or should I try a different one??? I like my meditation time, but wonder if I’m stuck in a rut that’s not helping me grow spiritually. I’ve tried my best to listen to intuition and have received none that I can detect.

    Am I just a limited being stuck in kriya land?

    One last thing. I’ve seen my shaktipat teacher and had very intense kriyas during a retreat during this last two months. This is the exception to the normal very predictable kriyas that I’ve been having lately. I am very shy and know they are so busy, so I don’t like to talk. But people were very bothered by the this. But no leaving the body, no intuition, just feeling good and slightly intoxicated, but no insight. It sounds like you have been through his stuff. It makes me feel vulnerable. During the retreat, I rocketed off my spot and hit another person during meditation. I’ve been having these things for over 12 years now. Can you use your intuition to give my some wisdom? Can’t I just talk to a spirit guide. Am I crazy for sacrificing sleep and getting up everyday at 3:00 AM before the gym to get a half hour Yoga with an hour meditation???


    • betsy rabyor says:

      Hi Joseph,

      Thanks for being honest and sharing your concerns. I don’t know what kind of meditation you are doing so can’t comment on that. To sharpen one’s ability to meditate, one should be doing witnessing meditation which uses no focal point, you just practice observing whatever appears in consciousness without doing anything at all (link below). This most closely resembles the natural aware state. Focus techniques are intermediate meditation devices, to learn how to sustain focus on one thing which helps to quiet the mind. But to go further, one must learn how to simply ‘see’ or ‘observe’. In regards to the kriyas, if they happen then allow them. But, one should also be keenly aware while in meditation and NOT rocketing into other people! The kriya reaction can always be controlled, simply by saying ‘not now’. It is the true self doing it after all…

      That you have been doing this for 12 years and are not getting intuition and inner guidance, seems to be because you are overly focused on doing ‘techniques’ and not doing self-inquiry (observing and asking essential questions about your true nature). The end goal of all this is to find your source or true self. You can’t awaken yourself by changing the body alone, it needs insight. That insight comes to you when you ask *essential* questions about yourself. Without question, an answer cannot be received.

      I would suggest to continue with your meditation and yoga and add in the following witnessing meditation each day. An hour of effective meditation is worth many hours sleep, so it is never a waste of time. Then to observe your ego reactions during the day and come up with one basic question about it, with goal to find out: WHO AM I? Questions should naturally arise once you start observing your self. Your comment can be seen as a question, to which you’ve received one answer.

      Hope that helps!

  2. Marty says:

    Hi Betsy,

    A very profound post, thank you.

    I feel the knowledge of the existence of our True Self is a huge step in itself and then to understand that it is veiled by manifestations of our ego experiences layered over it…possibly over many lifetimes.

    By dissolving attachment to those layers the veil hiding our True Self can be lifted even though the True Self has been there all along. This is a process because the ego does not give up easily and finds new attachments…possibly even the process itself.

    Complex yet simple, to find something we already have…our True Self.

    • betsy rabyor says:

      Thanks Marty, I agree. And the reason we keep finding new attachments or do not let go the old is the inbuilt automatic survival reaction of our physical system to stay alive.
      The bottom line is we don’t want our precious creation built up over many lifetimes to die even though it doesn’t even exist and is what keeps us in separation. Betsy

  3. Mark Thompson says:


    Yes, we must strive, until we become, what some
    have referred to as “effortless action”. Everything
    is contrary to this Perfect spiritual Purity in this
    world of flesh and blood. The forces of nature create
    this divide. It is within the realm of this duality, this
    opposite, that we battle the shadow forces that keeps us
    oppressed, ensnared by all the subtle attachments that keeps us bound. There is no escaping the battle field of the
    discovery of Self. It is the “pearl of great price”. When the soul is ready to surrender to this Cosmic writer, the
    personal story must be offered up. The forces that strive
    to live in this organic cellular expression will battle to
    live on. No one escapes this entrapping evolution unless
    freed by this Transcendent Life that recognizes ITSELF
    caught in Its own paradox of temporary action.


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